To think I almost committed suicide last Tuesday. My plan was to hang myself in the school bathroom. Well I attempted to. Left with marks on my neck. I realized what I had going for me. I have a life and an amazing boyfriend and a family who loves me truly. I couldn’t ask for anything better. The reason why I almost committed suicide was because I was being bullied at school by two of my classmates. They both spread rumors and make mean side comments to me. One treats me like I’m nothing to her. I have some friends here a PC. I have […]
i feel like….?………………!…. Shattered glass
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this nagging thought in the back of my mind. This thought that life is pointless and tiresome. I don’t remember much of being a child. It is as though I was someone else before I became a teenager. Photographs are life’s little moments captured in a stillframe and frozen. Looking at childhood pictures bothers me, because I feel as though I am looking at someone else. I feel as though the pictures are supposed to make me recall the moment in the photo. But I don’t. I don’t remember dressing in the clothes I am […]
I really dont know anymore. After going through depression since leaving high school 12 years ago, through to today, Ive just had enough. I dont mean that in a violent, angry or emotional way, I’m just tired of it all.
The usual stories blah blah, yeah Im married (its not an easy one but we do love each other), have 2 great kids, which frankly are my world. In fact, if not for them I’d be gone right now. I cant abandon them, but dont feel like I should be here anymore. Its weird.
Im not well off financially, have a boring standard lower middle class admin […]
since i’m already here might as well vent out a little bit. maybe some input may give me a bit more perspective instead of using the option of death to calm me down.
turned 24 last month, introverted, depressed for the past 10 years or so, finding it difficult fitting in the modern world and i find it difficult to connect with people and a deeper level. i feel so detached from everything and everyone. i’m more often than not, isolated from the “real” world and watching other people live their lives to the fullest is making me wonder why i can’t do the same thing. […]
If you think your life sucks because you don’t have a boyfriend, or you’re fighting with your current boyfriend, or your boyfriend left you… get a real problem.
I used to cry over that crap, and then I realized that relationships are S-I-M-P-L-E.
If you want a guy go get one. If you can’t find one, you’re not looking in the right places. If you’re unhappy with a guy leave him. If a guy leaves you, it wasn’t meant to be.
A little insensitive? So is telling someone who can’t have children that their life is gravy and they should just go to bed. So much for this […]
Ever since we met (my wife) and decided to stay together, we always have arguments everyday and it seldom happened a day with it. Until we decided to get married, we’re 4 years now and have one 3-year old son. But the state still goes on and sometimes we’re temporarily separated, sometimes I opt to suicide and sometime I leave them for few day to ease the pain.
I love her so much and I don’t want to leave her or get legally separated (in our country there’s no divorce). My problem now is how to handle her everyday since we have a lot of differences […]
I have only ever wanted one thing. It’s the only thing that I will never have.
In grade school, I was maybe seven years old, my teacher asked us to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew myself with a bunch of babies and kids running around and wrote “stay at home mom.” Now, I’d say my goals have changed considerably, I’d rather work than stay home, but I still have dreams about little green-eyed babies.
My freshman year of college I found out that I’ll never get those babies. I also found out that I will never be in love, I’ll […]
My girlfriend Ruby and I broke up today.
I couldn’t believe it.
I thought I had found someone who could understand me… I knew that she had gone through some tough times of her own. But it just pained her to listen to my stories because it caused her to relive hers.
She wasn’t completely honest with me about that.
I still love her. But she just wants to be friends now.
It’s devastating. I couldn’t breathe… I knew I wanted to die.
Someone please save me from this… I know my mistake now, but I think it might be too little too late. And I can’t kill myself now because […]
Ironic, how even in herd of black sheep, I seem to be even too black to fit in.
Fuck your stupid conformity.
I came to find some sort of solace, but as usual, expectations of any sort just leave you fucked.
Should have known better to shut the fuck up and kill myself instead of expecting other suicidal people to understand what it really is like to want to kill yourself, not to want to live. If I wanted to live I would have gone to a fucking happy go lucky site.
Hope is fucking overrated.
Alone I sit,
Alone I think,
Alone I experience,
Alone I cry,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut,
Alone I watch the blood,
Alone I feel the pain.
Alone I think about cutting deeper,
Alone I experience my sadness,
Alone I cry my eyes out,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut my wrists just a tiny bit deeper,
Alone I feel the pain.
Alone I think about slicing pictures,
Alone I experience my emptiness,
Alone I cry for all I’ve lost,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut nice drawings for all of those who want to […]
What’s the best way to have someone find you? Opinions?
I’ve thought about mail, emails, giving heads ups are more questionable…
I wouldn’t want to start decomposing where I lay. But I wouldn’t want someone to stop me either.
Fed up with crying wolf, and even worse, I don’t even know if people would take me seriously if I said I was going to kill myself.
Because every time I’m at that brink, that dread is immediate, real. Pulses through my blood, my bones.
Yet, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to laugh at my own pathetic attempts.
I dont know what I want maybe I just need someone. I can’t be alone. Anyone have kik on here?
Im saying goodbye the second week of november on a friday.If you ever read any of my other post you would know i once said something close to the world is bad thats why im leaving it but often times i forget theres one other reason.A secret that i keep that makes me feel like a monster.Everyone would miss me if i was dead im sure but there minds would quickly be changed if they knew my secret.My mom might even spit on my grave. Id rather be gone than to be shunned by society. I have already shunned myself. I dont love me even […]
I don’t think I can do this anymore. I thought this would be a fresh start but the same things hit me over and over again. I’m on medication but it doesn’t seem to help and I’m broke, so broke I can’t afford to continue. I can’t focus or concentrate on what needs to get done. Right now, that’s my assignments. My lecturers have extended deadlines but I still can’t go through the hurdles.
My friends are frustrated with me. They just want me to get the work over and done with. But I can’t. I don’t understand the things I read anymore and soon I […]
do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
Did I ever mean anything to you? Did I? Or was I just your little experiment, to see how hard  you could push before I fell? Here’s a little life tip: you can’t push someone to their breaking point and not stick around to help them pick up the pieces. You were everything I ever wanted, you were perfect. I would’ve done anything for you, to make you happy, to make you stay. You meant the world to me. My happiness was wrapped up inside of you. You’ve left me broken.
But I still love you.
Suicide runs through my mind almost daily. I have come close to attempting it. Then, I think of a reason to live and it works. So for anyone out there struggling…you aren’t alone. And just keep holding on. Find at least one reason to live. It’s kept me alive for four months so far. It can help you too.
So I got called a life saver today.. twice. I’m a life saver that thinks about taking her own life sometimes. Seems kind off ironic doesn’t it???
Feeling pain. That’s the only thing I’m good at. Yet, I’m too much of a coward to commit suicide. I hate being scared. Every time I look at that helium hood, I feel so scared. Maybe it’s just the way it looks, but I wish that fear would go away. I failed at being a writer. I failed at being a likeable person. I just wish I could go away and sleep for an eternity.