being brave enough to jump, is not the same as being strong enough to hold on…..
So today my idiotic super religious nut job mom accused me of bullshit i I didn’t do again. And same as always sge didnt let ne me explain anything to her. She just went on and about How Gawd isnt going to bless me because im a lair and I need to get right and blah blah. Which to me is fucking hypocritical coming from this *****, she beat me with a belt naked all the time when i was young over bullshit i didnt do or because i bought home a bad grade. Now that im to old for her to hurt physically she […]
It’s fucking awful when you can’t even allow yourself to be depressed without feeling like you don’t even deserve to be depressed. I would be dead by now, but I can’t stand the thought of my mom losing her oldest daughter. I give so much mentally to other people, but I can’t commit suicide, the one selfish thing I want to do.
I’ll just say that I don’t believe the official narrative of what is going on in the world.
The future truly looks bleak for so many people.
Well, i’m still alive.
Spent 15 years trying to kill myself. spent 3 in recovery.
it got better, for a time.
But any day would still be a good day to die.
i live risky. ride a motorbike, pass on curves n hills i cant see the end of, that kinda thing.
i wish it would be a mater of time but it wont be.
i’m doomed to live here for the rest of my miserable life.
i lived a shitty existence, i was a piece of shit for 20 years… now i have to spend the rest of this garbage life making up for it.
i feel like i’m walking through a […]
last night i googled how long does it to die from open wrists.
august is long and september feels unreachable.
… because I find it hard to believe that “the world would be much different place without you”
I’m sure many of us have heard this phrase before that we hear people say to others in an attempt to try and prevent them from taking their own life. However, if I was standing on the edge and ready to jump and someone said that to me I’m afraid that it wouldn’t persuade me to not kill myself because I’m pretty sure I would respond with something like: “The World? The World will remain the same. It will continue to spin on its axis. It will continue […]
postal service are you still here?
I’ve always cared about my younger brothers. Even when I was a kid. I may be a girl, but I still feel a deep desire to protect them.
My middle brother used to get bullied in elementary school. Even back then, as a preteen, I wanted to kill someone. He was the quiet, nerdy type. He’s intelligent, extremely intelligent. Always looking at the technical side of things. The type to tell you about how a patch in Smash gave Samus’s up-b two less frames or something like that. Makes sense why he’d gravitate towards computers and coding. He doesn’t have any friends. That scares me. He doesn’t know […]
Explain this to me,
You post on your story that you want someone to talk to
But when I ask if you do,
You tell me you can’t
You tell me you love me
I wonder if you really do
Please just tell me the truth
I wish you the best, and I really do love you, but I don’t know if you love me back
Please just open up to me
I want you to be happy, but I can’t force you to, I think I’m going to crack
What a crazy world to live in where so much of your future is determined by what hand you were born with and what zip code/area you grew up in.
And yet you still have so many people at the ready to yell, “but just work hard! Keep at it! Hard work pays off, just you watch. Bootstraps. Mindset. Put in those extra hours. Climb that ladder.” Do they not see it themselves how they’re dismissing how much else is involved with making it in this world? To name a few: the family you were born into, the area you grew up in, the connections you’re […]
Wow, just wow. I’ve been doing better without any friends but it was really hard in the beginning. So after a week I check my messages: 0 Just why do I care so much…? When you’re someone, that has so much affection to give, what the hell do you do.? Seems like, everyone who’s not depressed, is just not much of a friend these days. Oh, to be 16 again and have a bunch of depressed friends and they have so much free time, you could actually form a ball of clay and stick together for forever. Loneliness is no joke…
Not a single muthafucka has ANY clue what it is to die like me.It makes me SO angry!!!!! Now watch my soul slip away!!!!! The feelings of vengeance are powerful but the only way to HURT you all is to melt away. SO alone! all it woulda took was ONE hand but not for me….the script is written, I HAVE to die…….ALONE.
For it nullified my life. Blindness ruined my life, DIEabetes fuckin killed me. I’m SO HUNGRY!!!!! can’t even fuckin EAT like normal people!!! I suffer and STARVE due to my fucked up DISEASE. Fuck this shit….DIEabetes killed me…..I snuffed me out to escape the disease.
Afraid……to sleep? NO….been drinkin all night so sleep will come easy. Heart pounding, I know this is THE END. The end of all the pain…..and all the laughter, orgasms, fun and happy. The pain outweighs the good. Will the gas envelop my lungs and render me unconscious? will the gas burn my eyes, making me cry harder than I already am? The FUCK ever! just fasten your hands to the chair and stare….with eyes shut tight, just BREATHE and go to sleep.
Been a part of this page since before I was blinded and nearly killed by a brain tumor in 2009. It’s been a long HARD road and not one second of time went by where I didn’t contemplate killing myself. NOW is the time….it has finally come. The rope needed to keep me out of suicide water has run out. I now must fall. All these words likely my last and NO ONE will ever know I even wrote these words. The ache of needing the “strength” to go threw with it is over. I KNOW it’s time. It feels shitty but also liberating. The […]
Okay so i recently lost my crappy job at a fish plant, only to get shit on by my so called friend that was “disappointed ” in me. Like its my fault my damn crap Volkswagen broke down. Now im out of a job, no money but just 500 dollars left and im 23 with Two college degrees still living with my mom. I feel like just killing myself again, but i know it wont work. I hate the fact that my parents made me and gave birth KNOWING i would suffer in this world before going to suffer eternity in hell.
I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they’re real
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures
Are all I can feel
Raise your hand if you have cuts on your limbs..
Raise your hand if you starve yourself..
Raise you hand if you feel unwanted, worthless..
Raise your hand if you have attempted suicide..
Raise your hand if you cry to sleep..
Raise your hand if your afraid..
Raise your hand if you’re depressed..
Raise yoir hand if your lonely..
Is your hands up? Because mine is..
There’s no way I’m gonna survive a 33 metre fall, right? I don’t want to survive. Please tell me that I won’t survive.