What a surprise! I’m back.

In fact there’s no surprise at all. I know very well it’s a cycle: life improves I go away from here, life gets worse I get back here. What a shit! Always the same thing!

I’ve seen the protests on TV and it’s beautiful but at the same time I know nothing will change then I see all those people walking up and down the streets for hours searching something they wont have and that makes me sad. The System doesnt change, its you who are changed by it.

I’m tired and I need a break. Holidays far from here! This coronavirus is […]

Since the world is in chaos and so many people here on suicide project somehow complain about not being able to ‘function’ like normal people, I will say a word about it. ‘Normal people’ are not better than you. They are simply stronger (now, you can never know when some of them after having his or her life destroyed will come to visit this website).

If they have hobbies, enjoy music, talk politics, celebrities, they are not more ‘normal than you’.

There are good people out there, although only a few. Most of them have no idea what it means to deal with suicidal thoughts, experience severe […]

She doesn’t deserve a sister like me. She’s so kind and innocent. She cares about people. She is sensitive and sensible. She looks up to me as an inspiration. But honestly I never want her to be like me. She should never feel these things. It is said that we should experience everything but believe me, no one deserves to experience these things. So doesn’t she. I love her. That smile on those soft cheeks XD. She’s so cute. She was born cute. Please keep her safe. Teach her to never hide things from herself. Also, teach her to never hurt people. Teach her to […]

Does anyone else here struggle with understanding things like music and politics that other people seem to have a second nature for? It makes me feel like an utter idiot and it’s so frustrating that it largely contributes to my feelings of suicide

numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb

things were getting better thought and now it’s been degrading again. is this all to life? just false hopes and worsening conditions. life is so shitty. this time is so shitty.

I will talk to the admin to remove my account. I would have meaningful discussions with people here in the past. Unfortunately, every decent person has long left the website. I spent 5 years here and my life eventually improved. This place was meant to be a place of hope (you can read more about the website and this was written by the admin).

“The Suicide Project is a website devoted to allowing people to share their stories of desperation and depression… and ultimately of hope. We hope that by allowing people to share their stories of despair with one another, they can find a reason […]

Iv tried too commit suicide a fair few times by overdosing an there’s always been this one memory of mine when I tried too hang myself, where I was standing on my computer chair I was going too hang myself there an then it was on my birthday I’m pretty sure.
Well that memory has always stuck with me standing up there with an extension cable wrapped around my neck for 45 minutes just wanting too take that last step off that chair but it just never happened I remember looking over at my dog “Leroy” an just becoming very jelly like! I had this […]

These thoughts, they just get buried within us, with time. They dig their own grave. But they’re not dead, they’re just chilling inside the coffin aka our mind. And the more we try to fight them, the weaker we become. I used to believe that these dark feelings get powerful with time but no, it’s us who become weaker. Because let’s face it, as we fight with these thoughts, the mind turns into a battlefield. And amid this ongoing war, we lose control because the thing at stake is, control, it’s the kingdom that the thoughts wanna take over. So we turn full war-ready, forgetting […]

I just want to stop feeling like this but I don’t think it will ever stop. I really want to cut right now and I’m trying not to.
I want to message my friend and ask them if I can come over for a bit to distract myself but I don’t want to bother them. I don’t want to be that annoying friend. They say ‘come over and talk to us whenever you want to’ but still, I don’t know. I just feel so guilty.

I thought I would just say hello to you guys instead. Hi

I’m so unbelievably sick and fucking tired of this feeling. I can’t do anything right, I have no faith in myself. The world we live in is a hard fucking place, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I could just believe in myself. Confidence is a rare commodity, and without it I give up. How many times do I have to fuck up and hate myself over it? Why can’t I just realize that I’ll continue to ruin everything I have. No matter the percentage put in my shoulders, a problem radiates to the surface. I’m sick of crying because I can’t do anything. […]

I’m so sick of crying, I cut myself to calm down a bit and to enable myself to sleep. But I wake 3 hours later and now I’m crying again.

They’re not deep cuts, as I don’t intend to inflict serious damage… but I’ve resorted to it too often as a coping mechanism that it’s lost it’s effectiveness. Cutting would usually knock me out for at least 7 hours but not this time. I’ve done multiple little cuts… here’s to trying deeper ones…

I have to sleep.. so I can study later, exams are coming soon. I just.. I just can’t let this suffering ruin my entire […]

I don’t really have someone who I can speak for days about me, my situation, the way I see everything, someone who can truly understand all these things.

What do you think of this quote by Khalil Gibran?

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself”

Life sucks and then you die.

Shit hurts and then you die.

Earn bucks and then you die.

Give fucks and then you die.

Mouth shuts and then you die.

Utter words and then you die.

Thoughts burst and then you die.

Face perverts and then you die.

Nights occur and then you die.

Heart rests and then you die.

Just kill yourselves and then you’ll die.

Could someone kindly explain how to delete my account? I would really appreciate an answer to this question.

It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It makes you feel safe and secure.
At least I think so. I never got to know the feeling of “home”.

It’s a terrible terrible thing that will never become better, since a very young age i had too start coping with something that happened to me an iv kept it too myself until only a few months ago where I ended up telling a police lady about it, nothing came about it though she tried helping me but all that happened was I got taken too a mental hospital an when I got there I was very scared too explain what I had said too the police lady that i know personally an trust at the time there were bush fires going on in Australia […]

I’ve become a vegetarian as a form of penance, don’t know how long it’s going to last. I’ve been looking at pictures of baby animals online. I feel guilty..I just count the days I don’t eat meat as a triumph. although right now I can’t eat anything at all, I lost my appetite,  I can’t sleep, I’ve been drinking every second day.. only 4 beers but still I hate relying on it. I hate being poor and having no job prospects. I want to live as a herder in Mongolia with a few Yaks to keep me company and feed me dairy products. I don’t […]

I watched someone who had been sitting at the end of a pier planning to jump. I didn’t realise this at the time. I continued watching as she was persuaded not to; then escorted off by police, there were coastguards and a lifeboat on standby. The whole ordeal took about an hour but most of that time she was waiting for the ambulance in a police car.

Watching gave me some perspective that no matter how much you want to end it, you have to have the strength to overcome survival instinct. I’ve not been able to before standing on a bridge the precipice as it […]

i wouldnt call it inspiring but its not bad either. i thought someone else might like these songs as much as i do :).

i personally like this song because suicide aside, you really can die at any second so you should at least try to cherish some moments because anything can happen. if you were told you had 1 week to live and you could do anything you wanted, money not an issue, what would you do? (it has to be something positive, not blowing something up or killing people) i told my friend i want to go mountain climbing before i die. ive […]