im sitting here alone, dont have shit, im just gonna take this night quil and hopefully i take enough to make me sleep till tomarrow,need today to be over with, and i need and escape, if im to tierd to dream and i just sleep, then it will work for me
whoever it may be we always thinq dat a frnd will be thr wid u always,,i had lot of frnds,, 4m my childhood manju,,shahida,,shameem,,neerja,,SINDHU,,sowmya wer by best frnds infact my soulmates..frnds always teach u new things in life .may be everytym it happens in positive way this tym it happnd in a terrible mode,,
how cud i guess that just giving an advice to my darlz sindu effect my frndship dis much.b4 a week or so,,i adviced her on sum issue and my advice gave a bad result,,so wat i was not knowing abt dis..
even in dis damn week i have kept my ego […]
Shortly after you read this article (and I’m done writing it), you will not see a single reply from me on this website.
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s any article of dissuasion or persuasion that will change or affect how I view this. It’s just over. Done.
I’m tired. I’ve been trying to put up a fight every day. It’s not even a commendable fight. I’m not fighting against soldiers, diseases, or gangs. I’m not cleaning my room. I’m not working even though everyone thinks I am.
I’m drinking. I’m smoking. I’m telling everybody I’m okay when I know I’m not. I don’t know if I -want- this […]
i hate holidays, my whole life they have sucked, i thought they were sapost to be the days wen you gather around everyone that loves you and spend time with them or something,now that im not in a group home anymore,i dont really have shit for people, even though i didnt at the group home, but atleast i could be around one good soul,i have the choice a going there today, but why would i want to go back to that hell hole,they said i could go from 1 to 4;45, fucken stupid,id rather be alone anyway.
I suffer from depression but no one understands. They don’t see depression as an illness. I feel i’m all alone. I try to meet new people but they don’t understand my silence so they back off.
They see me as an insecure and weird teenager. I just don’t know what to say. I really want a social life but i have no idea how to interact with people. I’m always quiet. Specially in group. Yet i love to chat with people via skype or msn but there is no one ever wanting to chat with me.
There is nothing worse than being surrounded by people and feeling […]
I started this project, Tattoo Therapy, a few weeks ago (need to get funding by the 28th. It’s the story of my 2008 OD and my “coming out” of being bipolar.
Last night, I found that a former high school friend killed himself recently. I can’t tell you how saddened I am, yet this affirmed how important my project it- we can’t lose another soul, we just can’t.
Please watch my short video, comment, pledge, give ideas…Â my heart is broken but I know that what I’m doing will help others.
Blessings,
-irene
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1579326023/on-being-bipolar-tattoo-therapy
Business is slow so money’s tight. Both my parents are in bad health so I decided to move back to help out and save money. I’m not bad looking, I keep in pretty good shape, have a full head of hair and I do have a lot of friends.  I’ve been fighting depression since the age of 18.  The only things that have prevented me from ending things have been the fear of hurting my loved ones and, although I’m not the best Catholic in the world, going to hell.  Never told anyone this but I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills when I […]
Let’s try again. I’ll keep it simple.
(I was 15 years and one month and two days old.)
One year and three months ago, I slipped into my mother’s medicine cabinet.
I was completely alone (for a change.)
The Cranberries’ song “Dreams” played and The Exorcist was on.
(Never did finish that film.)
I slipped one white pill onto my tongue. Bitter, I let it lie stagnant for a second before pushing it down my throat.
(The remaining nineteen Vicodin followed their lost sibling: in pairs and chains of three or four, clasping together their dusty white hands.)
I expect I drank water at some point thereafter.
(I felt pleasant. Warm, fuzzy, nice. Obviously […]
I don’t remember anything before the age of four but I definitely remember that age. It was the first time I tasted cum… Isn’t that just awesome… Then for the next 5-6 years I was used as a punching bag, a slave, a sex toy, the epitome of a step child. My mom knew and would stay after he swore to not do it again. I could see the evil in his eye when he would tell me how sorry he was. I knew what was coming as my mom smiled because he swore he would never do it again. He was going to punch […]
I’m almost ready. ready for the pain to end, even if it takes more pain. I wrote a suicide letter a goodbye.I have problems if I killed myself i would be doing the world a favor one less messed up person for people to look at and wonder what I’m like. Who I am. Everyone judges people. And in this world that’s all I am to most people. I was  abused. It changes a person getting slapped for not eating. Getting kicked for crying. Getting my head slammed into a  wall because I couldn’t stop crying. It was like that every day . I have problems. They are clear to […]
hi megan its me tiara i recently got it into my head to starve and dehydrate myself the words sheer will and determination ring clear to my ears and by monday itll be day four im tired of everybody failing to help me if im still here by day five ill give this whole thing up if not see ya
That’s it. I said I’d wait a month before I made a decision, and I did just that. But now the time has come and the decision has been made. No more strings attached. No more saying goodbye and no more lies.
I have the date and, my method is a sure fire. I can’t afford to screw it up this time around. Besides I doubt I’ll get another chance like this…i hope the people around me who actually gave a damn can forgive me one day, but i figure that I’m doing them more of a favor this way then by sticking around. I’m not […]
I won’t get into semantics,just wasted more time on the hotline…the volunteer acted appalled that I suggested long term depression was the mental equivalent to end stage cancer…anyone else agree? No thetes no biological basis for suffering but its just as poisonous and just as fatal….
Each day I get closer,and a little more courage. thankfully i found two new pro suicide forums to vent a little more explicitly lol,not that this hasn’t been fun,too.
I’m screwed up and I’m broken and I don’t know how or why I came to be like this. Nothing horrible has ever happened to me and from the outside, I have a perfect life.
But somehow, I am not normal. I am steadily going completely insane and nobody has noticed, because I keep it from them. I hide my craziness because I shouldn’t have it. I don’t deserve it.
It doesn’t make logical sense for me to feel this way, but still I know that I’m screwed up. Completely and utterly fucked up and insane.
I’m too many contradictions. I don’t make sense. I can’t even explain […]
i haven’t been happy in so long.. i can’t even remember the last time i smiled. this girl keeps running through my mind her names kaylee. she told me to leave her a lone because i pretty much went crazy, i didn’t want to lose her but i did anyways and everyday i regret on me being so stupid and not listening to her. she told me to leave her a lone but it hurt so bad for her saying that to me, i just wanted to keep talking to her. i wanted everything to be how it was when i first met her. we […]
When you look up at me
Can you not see
This love hiding shamefully
Behind my painted face
Emptiness I embrace
I see your heart braking
I try to stop shaking
But you don’t know what you’re taking
From me
These years slowly passing
And I am just guessing
That soon I’ll be watching
This all from above
I won’t yearn for my home
Because I’ve been shown
That death is all I want
I’ll have peace and rest
Nothing to protest
Nothing to deplore
But I’d give it all up
I’d suffer through this dump
Because I’ll miss you more
But I am so broken
You are destined
For […]
I’ve been depressed for years and I@m starting to realise that it’s because i never felt loved growing up. My brohter bullied me by beating me and puttin gme down and making me feel like a loser all the time. He raped me when I was 9 years old. The problem is so complicated though because I never felt like I could go to my parents because they never seemed to give a sh*t about me… I loved them and my brother so much but they just treated me like dirt. When my parents split up, my dad just moved out and didn’t even think […]
I’ve chosen a day. This time I will not fail. I am happy. School will have just ended and I wouldn’t have seen any of my “friends” over the summer either. So no one will know. Only the essential family. I will disappear. Like I’d never been alive. So perfect.
I am anxious for June 1st, but I recognize that wishing it were here already is just going to irritate me. So I’m going to try and live as carefree as possible a life for the next month and a half. Anyways, my question is: Does anyone have any suggestions for me before I go? Things […]
I would like to think myself a normal girl.
I know how to be happy, and I have been, and I know it’s possible to be again. I just don’t know when.
I go through cycles, every time I’m heartbroken, I try to take my life. I quite possibly do have borderline personality disorder.
The last heartbreak was half a year ago, and I can’t seem to get over it.
This time it’s different. I don’t think I want to recover. I don’t want to be heartbroken now, and I don’t ever want to be heartbroken again.
I can’t handle it.
I’ve overdosed 4 times already, been hospitalized 6 times in […]
I have been planning for months. I told my friends and they don’t believe me. I told my therapist and she thinks I should go on medication. I have borderline personality disorder and ever since I have been diagnosed with it it has made me feel even worse. I never wanted an excuse. I don’t want to know the reasons why I act. I don’t want to realize that it’s my fault everyone has left me. So I’m done. I’m going to buy a couple bottles or boxes of pills from several stores so they can’t restrict what I buy. I’ll get alcohol from guys […]