The mind, is a cruel tool. A very cruel tool. But it’s cruel too be kind. Nearly a year ago, something I thought that would never happen did, and it hurt. God damn is was like headbanging through a bullet proof window. Something I was almost sure that I could not get through. I became… Different. To say the least I was very self destructive and very suicidal. But, much like the cliché “Time heals all wounds” and I’ve started to mend my ways. Today my brain sent me a reminder. A reminder it forced me to watch over, and over and over and over […]
Fuuckd up day at the school. The people in my class is doing a lot better than me. I try so hard everyday. They talk and laugh, and they doing good. Just sitting alone, while the others have fun.
I don’t know what to do, because I love that education. I cut myself everyday in school. Only to keep the school issues out.
Thank you for reading this, and to the others, I am sorry for wasting your time.
SuicideTears ;'(
Well here is my story. Today I was too much of a coward to suicide as usual. I want to be gone out of this world so bad. There is no point for me to be here. I’m a failure, my whole family is. I’m gay. I can’t live like this. I’m a high school senior who has no future because I’m undocumented. What’s the point of life if I know I’m set for failure already. I can’t afford college and I can’t even focus with school anymore I just want to be gone forever!
Hey everyone,
 My name is alex. I wont hand out my real name. I have screwed up my entire life. There are a lot of problems in my life that I wish never happened. My life became screwed up when I was in the third grade. We cleaned out our desks and I found a note folded up in my desk. I read it and it was a death threat. I gave it to my teacher and we never found out who the person did it was. Soon the bulling began and it continued on until I became a junoir in high school.
When I entered high […]
That is all I truly am. I am the fat monster who knows no better. I see the mirror and I want to break it. The reflection is what makes me angry. To see my messed up face and my large body is to much to bare.  I have had food thrown at me like an animal and I have been put down by everyone. I try so hard to fit into this dark world but I can’t. I open the doors for the ladies as I hope their hope and any pain they may feel will go away. My mom is the only one who has […]
Hello Everybody.
If you are reading this, then I did finally got through with it and killed myself. I know right now that everybody is very very sad, shocked and hurt by this, maybe even angry, but I hope that you will all understand that that I thought about this a lot and have to to no other decision or choice. I’ve spent years and hours thinking about what I have finally done. It really makes sense if you think about it. I am a musician and frankly not really worth any time or effort. Sure I play music, but society itself really has very little […]
When I self harmed myself , I didn’t bare too think about how it would effect my family , or my friends . or even myself esteem . I know it was a miskate , but I don’t regret it . I did what I did, too let my pain go away , I tryed crying instead of self harm , never worked . & for a couple months I even burned myself , i also used too starve myself, but i loved food to much so id fail within maybe 10 hours . but self harming myself was a way too cope with my […]
Here I lay,
Here I cry,
Is that the devil at my side?
If you wish
You can hide,
but don’t you dare die!
You are what’s keeping me here
So, please, stay near,
You are very dear
Without you, I’m cold,
I’m all alone.
If you diminish
I will be finished.
People don’t hear it,
You are my spirit.
Or maybe they do,
And they try to kill you.
But no matter the tears they bring,
You must sing!
Because I fear
When you aren’t here.
Fuck the world and the government They put a label on you when your born. Boys are blue and girls are pink why are they so sexes im lesbian and it makes it harder to live with all the rules think like a girl act like a lady..well im like a man in a girls body and gay boys its okay to be feminem like I said we dont need to be label and for HomoPhobs fuck off because you have NO clue what its like to be like us !!
THANKYOU !
It started when I was 11, the bullying. It was simple at first; called fat and ugly. It started to excel though, through out the year. I was a heavy set child, short and pudgy. But not obese. I told my mum, she said I just wanted attention. I let it keep happening for a couple months, then it got out of hand. I started being followed home by a couple of boys. They rode bikes usually, sometimes skateboards. I didn’t know what they wanted with me. A couple weeks after, a brick broke my window in the middle of the night. There was a […]
As i sit here i am playing “Born to Be Somebody” by Justin. Ive been listening to it for about 30 minutes now. ive never been one who’s into his music, but this song is helping me with my broken wings.
I am so tired, emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, just everything in me is tired. I wake up each and everyday and i plant a smile on my face. what else can i do? i was born into a family of strong christian faith and this, my feelings, my broken wings are not acceptable. So i hide. Smiling in my mother’s face like a hypocrite, laughing […]
OK. This is me singing “Kiss Me”. But you have to cut me some slack because I’m recovering from a cold and haven’t sung in a while. Some of the timing’s off as well; I slowed it down quite a bit. Also, it sounds really weird and creepy because it’s a cappella because I cannot play any instruments. It’s just the first verse and chorus. Now, do you think I can sing? Honestly.
You try and try again
But the pages keep filling themselves in
How ever much you want to change
Things will never be the same
And the pages keep filling themselves in
There’s no room to stop
With no choice but to get lost
Lost in the pages you help create
This is a book written in pen, you cannot erase
This is life and you’re only given time
Time to waste
And skip a few things
Miss a few words, misunderstand a few scenes
Get lost within the stories we all make
It’s just a big reality we all face
We’re forced to get to the end, but it’s not a race
Since the beginning, you get more pages each […]
Hi guys…
I’m really struggling right now with a lot of stuff… according to my psychiatrist I’m “clinically depressed,” but I’m on meds and they aren’t helping. I hate myself more than anything else in the entire world. I self-harm (that’s what it’s called, right?)–cut my ankles so no one can see. I have wonderful family and friends who all care about me very much and who would be destroyed if I died, but I just can’t see any other option right now. Every minute of my waking life consists of making plans to kill myself… I just completed my suicide note (it’s a poem… am […]
i hate life right now. i just cant win. being bullied isnt fun..being invisible isnt fun at all. why cant i just be fucking happy???? ahh life: FUCK IT!
Oh my it’s almost here. I can’t stand the intensity of this fear..It’s almost here, the end is so very near. I am scared, I am worried. I should have of never hurried. I just rushed my own death, right when life was at its best. Gosh, I messed up so bad..Now the world around me is ever so sad.. They know its the end, i had to tell them.. They are my family, my life..They have been here throughout all this pain and strife..They saved me many times, but they can’t save me now…Out of the billions of words they could have said when I […]
I’ve been wanting to address this idea for at least a few days now. I know that I am not going to recover and that redemption is not by any means guaranteed. I almost feel sorry for people that feel that way since it can be a real set up for disappointment and for me not worth pursuing. Truly I can’t tolerate any more disappointment I’d rather just be satisfied with the beating I’ve taken, the fact that I lost.
I would just say “Yes, Steve, you lost.”
I look at the cuts on my wrist
Mirrored by the scars from the past.
I gaze into the mirror at my tear-stained face
Hoping to comprehend my sad, red eyes.
I stare at my wrist in the mirror
Trying to connect the image with myself.
I feel as if this is not real
This is not me.
I wish to understand why I couldn’t reach out
Why is asking for help so hard?
Anger rising, rushing through my veins
Thoughts racing, running through my brain.
I can’t take this, all this hate.
I don’t want failure to be my fate.
I am unable to give a f*ck anymore,
So please go walk out that f*cking door!
He and she is no longer we
And I don’t want it to be!
Just let me go, say goodbye.
Let me go and watch me fly.
Hopefully I’ll soar up to God,
Or maybe just get beaten by a metal rod.
F*ck this life, I give up.
No more strife, put my ashes in a cup.
Spread them in a forest in the fall
Or maybe dress me […]