is there a rule about killing yourself on your birthday…?
Ill never live a normal life. Not with my past. I just want a time machine. I knwo I should just look forward and learn from my past… but its not as simple as people make it seem when they say it. Im just scared of whats gunna happen after wards. After I end it all. will I be forever in blackness or will i really go to a heaven ? I know nieave… but it gives u peace knowing that something is better. Even if there ws though God would probably wouldn’t let me in, cause suicide is a sin and all. When i […]
the refuge of Anonymity .
I’m 45. Been melancholy for all my life as I remember it. As an artist I’ve utilized it at times of course.
Congestive Heart Failure and Pulmonary Hypertension have taken their toll and brain aneurysm side affects for a basilar artery 1×2 cm aneurysm which was vertebral occluded twice with small stroke as a result seems to in the last couple of months spontaneously reared it’s head.
I’m broke. Unable to work and looking at homelessness in approx. 4 to 8 weeks and no where to turn. Thank you Republicans for ruining the economy and cutting funds to the needy while plying the […]
Today, I confessed to a friend what I was going through. He was so supportive. I was impressed too. We prayed together. I felt better, and I feel that we as humans must try to not despair. Life is uncertain, sometimes you commit mistakes you regret deeply later and/or sometimes something bad happens to you, and you wonder why because you have been such a good person. You know it is all part of our role here in this world. I am slowly gaining strength.
And why am I such an emotional wreck? It’s been 6 years and I can’t get it together…
when I’m sad I like to listen to music, specially to a band, called The Velvet Underground, I like their songs. They are calm and relaxing, at least for me. They are an old band, but makes me feel better when I listen to their songs. Just a suggestion if anyone wants to try…
i ran across this website bout a week ago and thought it was goin 2 help me get through this difficult part of my life. i’ve opened up told my story but still no one chooses to listen… i’ve tried to help out some of you out there but i guess im no good at that either(big surprise). when i found this site i thought i wasn’t alone but now i realize i truly am, it doesn’t matter though thats what i get and thats what its destined to be…
I’m going to die one way or the other, be it my own hand or someone else. I started college about 4-5 years ago, and things went fine, for a while. And then, it all spiraled out of control. Soon I failed all my classes, no matter how much I studied. I had to leave and start fresh, new school, new subject. I thought it was behind me. It was the worst period of my life. And here I am again, second year at my new school, and it’s all repeating. After everything that happened last time, I know I’m not going to get through […]
I am a 23-yr old male, I am going to take my own life but I do not want anybody involved in this. I know that suicide is illegal in the United States. Will writing a letter stating that I am responsible for my own death be enough?
Can you give me an advice on this?
I have always known that I am merely an experiment, like mass, disposable, since I was a child I have contemplated death; my own death. I am merely the irresponsible result of a night of beer of two youth, a man and a woman, who did not know how to consider […]
grew up in a great family with money. made a bunch of foolish mistakes and always sought the easy way out of things, never willing to take the time to learn essential things (cooking, fixing things, and so on). got diagnosed as bipolar after a second dui. post 18 years old, half my times have been incredible and anyone would deem the “good life” and half my time has been miserable. now i am lonely, live in an area where i do not want to live because of my shitty job, and dont enjoy anything at all. i always carry on hope. everything seems too […]
I forget who or what I’m running from.
I’m just running.
My body accelerates against the cool breeze.
My legs ache. Throbbing, pumping blood.
It’s cold, but my body radiates infernal heat.
That liquid sliding down my skin, from my head all the way down to legs.
What is it? Sweat? Maybe it’s raining. I can’t tell.
Oh yes, I remember now.
I’m running from “them”. All of them.
They did this to me.
They disgust me.
With their primitive, puny little minds, snickering comments and destructive… well, everything.
They tried to kill me from the inside! Those fucking bastards.
But I didn’t let them. I took matters into my own hands.
And now, this is my […]
I lost someone I loved deeply on July 26th of this year to suicide. She was my best friend. It’s been an incredibly hard few months. I used to be a happy person, I used to smile, and mean it all the time. Now, I fake smiling. I know it has to get easier with time, it can’t get worse. I think about how easy it would be do follow her footsteps and end it all. I can’t though, I won’t. I wouldn’t wish the pain I feel on anybody, and that is what I would do to everyone around me. I know this. Whether […]
For the first time in my life i do not have any self confidence, or cares in this world. Two trips to Iraq, 13 years in the military and I am contemplating taking my own life. I just had my second cervical fusion surgery a week a go, and my fiancee dumped me two days ago. I am not sure where to begin, my military career may be over and my first thought of having a real family of my own is gone. i’m lost and don’t know what to do.
Lets say 7 people died.
Just a random 7 people.
A druggie, a homosexual, a suicidal, a thug, an abuser, the abused, perfect life.
Each and every life is different, yes?
But each and every member of their friends or family care.
People DO care.
And they WILL be crying at your funeral.
You might think no one cares,
But that doesn’t mean its true.
What am i doing in school? One of my teachers took me aside today and asked about a whole bunch of essays i hadn’t turned in, and “was i going to finish them? And what of the oral presentation you have on week 50? If you don’t do it, or don’t turn up, it won’t be fair to the other students”. What can i say to that? I know i can’t do any of those things. But if i don’t, my teacher will be upset with me, I’ll fail even more, and my parents will eventually throw me out. I’d managed to shut it all […]
As darkness look’s at me.
For i walk to the night.
For my soul can not be saved.
As i surrender to the moon light.
Forever my soul asleep.
It feel’s there’s no escaping the curse on the moon.
The blind ness of fear. So deep and dark these time’s.
That the sun cannot shine down here.
I feel like a lost stanger stranded.
I fear i have killed. I hope it was just a deer in a field.
Should i wake up dead one day
Open my eyes and find my life had gone away
Should i witness this from afar
Or from where usually I sat looking out
My mouth firmly pressed into a discontented pout
Now from death left wide ajar
– If only
Hello all,
It has been over 7 months since I found a work mate dead. The effect has been huge on me & my family, I have felt almost compelled at times to follow. Anyone that feels like following PLEASE stop…..It will just go on and on. You are better than that no matter what you feel now! Please don’t let anyone find you.PLEASE PLEASE it will cause more pain to someone you may not even know than you know now.
Please !!! stop and think have a cold drink of water then a hot drink of coffee or Tea. Go for a brisk walk […]
I really don’t want to ruin anyones holiday, or uture holidays, yet the time is near and I can;t determine when. All I know is when the pain exceededs the will to bear it the ned will be at hand.
I have 2 methods, niether of which I want to use, a third didn’t materialize, can’t trust “Real” druggies to get what you wnat when you want it.
The wrecked lives I will leave, these lives are wrecked either way. If I stay, those lives are wrecked by many years of me being incarcerated, at my age I will probably die inside without ever seeing the free […]
I will never be good enough for anyone
And don’t even try to plant the idea of that I will
Because I won’t