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9

I Want To Remember

  May 25th, 2010 by Violet Blake

I never thought I would want to remember this year.

So many bad things have happened to me this year that I just don’t want too ever look back on; my suicide attempt, my lack of firends, my parents divorce, my dog dying, people at school treating me like a complete freak, and now my best friend Drake is graduating and leaving me in the dust that still remains in high school.

But you know what, I want to remember, because of him.

Drake and I haven’t been friends for very long, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. We have done everything together this school year, …

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1

I Am Stretched On Your Grave

  May 25th, 2010 by Anna

A recent post has been made concerning the song ‘Gloomy Sunday’; a song originally by a Hungarian composer which has been covered many times by various artists and has been linked to numerous suicides.

I realise completely that my last few posts have been largely music-related; whether they be comments or posts themselves, and I fear this shall be no different. But recently the desire to die has subsided somewhat, and has been replaced by simple contemplation of death. My scheduled death date still exists within the pages of my diary, but I currently feel little desire to commit suicide at this very moment in time; …

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3

Pathetic. But why can’t I forget him?

  May 25th, 2010 by Dolli Darko

The moment I met you,

it didn’t take much.

We fell in love,

now my heart you clutch.

In your beautiful hand,

on your beautiful arm.

You shied away,

I turned on my charm.

A little blue pill with molly and glass

put our relationship on turbo,

we were going fast.

I ran from home,

left all that I knew.

To be with my love.

To be with you.

I sit here alone,

wishing and wanting

you to be by my side.

This feeling is haunting

my thoughts day and night.

I lie awake hoping

the words you said were true,

we will soon be eloping.

I pray while I’m here,

your feelings don’t alter.

Last night I had a dream

of you at the alter.

Before I finish this poem,

I want you to …

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3

What’s good to clean up blood?

  May 25th, 2010 by Anna

Not from a suicide attempt- from a slight accident, staining the carpet of my rented accomodation, which, upon moving out of in a matter of weeks, they will charge me for.

Any suggestions?

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1

The Monster Within

  May 25th, 2010 by Violet Blake

I’m quite aware of the fact that I’m more then one person, somewhere inside of me there is someone else, or something else controlling me.

I call this the monster.

It has always been there, threatening to gnaw my stomach to shreds whenever I would feed it, making me feel like less and less of a person, every day i thought I was just going to fade into oblivion, never to even have existed in the first place.

When I was a child I used to play be afraid that that a monster was going to come out from under my bed and snatch me. Too bad I …

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3

a little bit about me

  May 25th, 2010 by imsorrymom

Well, i felt the need to tell you people about myself a little because ive only been posting my stories. so here it goes:

im a male. First found out i was suicidal at the age of 14. looked up more about it later on and found out i suffer from major depression and suicidal thoughts. ever since 14 its been a steady decline in my positive mo0d and happiness. i now am 16 and very depressed and extreamly suicidal. i know im going to commit suicide. there is no doubt about that. the only question is to either do it at 16 or 17. lately …

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12

where are you my love

  May 24th, 2010 by fireflieslight

Gloomy Sunday is a song 50 years ago that drove hundreds of people into suicide without apparent cause.
The original song, Hungarian version, is only a song made up of monotonous and repeatedly notes, just a depressing song born in the Great Depression. Melody that rises to the top and down abruptly.
Actually not a well-made song and plainly crude. The scariest part is only the photo of the dead composer, suicide in 1968.

Here a refined and beautified piece by Heather Nova I’d like to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2fGWQKbX68
with movie and mtv extract

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkjuuGlcG7M
pure for better sound quality

How one can turn the odds, even a death-driving song can also be …

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3

one story that you will not understand….The Beginning of the End

  May 24th, 2010 by nicky

You stood there and said nothing,

when i asked why you just smiled

i cried…

you laughed and walked away

i just stood there and stared.

i remembered then..

this is your hell.

you can make my life hell

taunt me, tease me,

hurt me…i cant stop you.

everyones says your different but

no one knows you till they have given there life to you

then they see the truth behind the smile,

the stories you spin.

and now they cant back out.

you might be dead but

you walk amoung us.. not letting us forget

this is your world

your hell

and we cant control what happen.

You play a game, a game i know so well

so many have lost,

they dont know how lucky …

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4

I’m not sure why I bother

  May 24th, 2010 by pointlessburden

I think I’m here hoping that venting out some of my feelings might help me make it through. Maybe make me feel better. I won’t say happy just better.

I’m 37 years old and I’m a screw up. I’m finally the end of  horrible 10 year marriage, with a mentally ill person.

In the past few weeks I’ve seem to have lost just about everything.  The worst being the most perfect person I’ve ever met. She made me feel happy and content in ways I can’t explain, and I thought it was the same for her. Our only problem was distance. And in truth me, I screwed up …

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7

  May 24th, 2010 by unknown unknowns

Do you think a second before committing suicide, the person regrets it and doesn’t want to go through with it anymore..but it’s too late?

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1

My Story…

  May 24th, 2010 by Tyedyed

The first time I had suicidal thoughts was when I was 8 years old.  At the same time I lost all faith in God that I may have had.  I knew something was wrong, but being so young I didn’t know exactly what it was.  In those days child abuse wasn’t talked about and I never said anything.  It was my brother that protected me and kept me safe.  I hung in there.  3 years later:  my parents “Legally” disowned my brother and sent him to a foster home.  My whole world was shattered.  I had a mental breakdown, or my bi-polar disorder kicked into high gear…  

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13

I can’t cope anymore

  May 23rd, 2010 by lost_va

Life is just too much for me.  Every way I look, I see signs of my own failure.  I simply cannot overcome my anxiety and depression.  My job has endless hours and endless demands and pressure and endless negativity.  Yet I’m stuck there since I can’t afford to pay this company back for all the training they’ve invested in me.  I don’t think I can do this job any longer; I’m just not smart enough, not quick enough, not able to get things done fast enough.  I really don’t think at this point I can do any job, which will eventually leave me homeless and …

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2

Where do I go?

  May 23rd, 2010 by luckyfluke4

Where do I start and go?

There is nothing on this earth worth living for.

Everyday I live with anxiety, low self esteem and fear.

I am 21 and I’m from a broken family, I don’t think I’ve ever been loved from anyone on this earth. I was molested by my grandfather at a young age before he died, My father has anger issues called myself and siblings fat and i’ve watched him physically and emotionaly abuse my younger brothers, i’ve raised my older sister with downsyndrome until she was older enough to take care of herself.

My mother has schizopherna and I’ve watched her constant suicide attempts throughout my …

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2

Sappy (Nirvana)

  May 23rd, 2010 by lana

And if you save yourself
You will make him happy
He’ll keep you in a jar
And you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll give you breathing holes
Then you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll cover you with grass
And you’ll think you’re happy
Now

You’re in a laundry room,
You’re in a laundry room
Conclusion came to you, oh

And if you cut yourself
You will think you’re happy
He’ll keep you in a jar
Then you’ll make him happy
He’ll give you breathing holes
Then you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll cover you with grass
Then you’ll think you’re happy
Now

You’re in a laundry room,
You’re in a laundry room
Conclusion came to you, oh (x2)

(solo)

And if you fool yourself
You will make him happy
He’ll keep you in a jar
And …

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12

Content with Loneliness

  May 23rd, 2010 by Violet Blake

I don’t have friends.

I used to think that I was weird or something because no one wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid, they would come up to say hi and everything and try to be friendly, but I was always too secluded and shy to say anything back, so they would back off, and sooner or later try again, and fail to still get me to talk.

Now people don’t even try to talk to me.

People call me the quiet girl, but I’m far from it. I love to talk to people one on one, if its just me and someone …

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3

At A Glance

  May 22nd, 2010 by rebelmoonwitch

Well since i was in 5th grade i have always known in some sick way that i would not live a long life. I in truth did not want one. Now i am 17 and that to me is surprising.
My life has always been hard, but sometimes as i got older life got i guess more bearable. Recently though my relationship of almost 2 years ended. This is stupid i know, but its all my fault. I cheated and the boy i cheated with meant nothing to me. I have been trying to move on, i …

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1

Weakness

  May 22nd, 2010 by Jack_G

I feel so bad, people go through what i do every day and still manage to be fine and healthy individuals, why can’t I cope as well as them?

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2

i want to but i cant do it to my mum

  May 22nd, 2010 by steven20010

im a guy in his 30’s…..throughout the years had the odd periods of suicidal tendencies…gues who hasnt…but as i write this message….i just wish i could go through with it…i have literally hit a brick wall where i see nothing past it…i get a full hot body sweat that sweeps through and releases through my fingers…..

im jealous of people who do it..who take the decision….brave enough…i know…i know thats wrong to think like that…my thinking is blinkered … of course im not thinking about the family of that person..the mum who gave birth…an that is my position tonite…i want want want so much to do …

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1

I have a way….

  May 22nd, 2010 by metalhead287

I know what I’m going to do. Monday morning, no ifs or buts. There is a multi storey car park. I’m going to listen to my music one last time and have one last cigarette. I’ve written a note for my mum and my sister but I will ring them one last time, just to hear their voices one last time. Then I’m going to just let myself fall. I’m just tired of living. I’ve been through too much to believe that life will get better. The world is a depressing and evil place and I for one have no intention of living on to …

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4

sleep and why i havent told my story yet

  May 22nd, 2010 by imsorrymom

i cant sleep. i know its the depression and suicidal thougths. it happened the last time. its a warning that im getting really bad. its horrible. i feel like a damn zombie. but at least im not hallucinating. It only happens when im really, really bad and pretty much only lasted two days leading up to my first attempt.  I know i havent told my story yet and im sorry about that. you have to understand though, the last person (and only person) i told turned their back on me and pretty much laughed in my face about me killing myself. it was my closest …

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