I have now jumped through a million loops. And it’s starting to pay off!

I have found  picture of a flow fitting that what i understand is used in either Argon or Oxygen tanks, but should fit just fine with a ******** tank as well. That is i hope…

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b2/Gas_bottles_in_Finnish.JPG

Yes, i believe that will also do with ********. Oh boy! I have jumped through a million loopholes right now! The transportation. The “exuse” for using the gass. The flow fittings…Well, still in the process of buying some…

http://www.juhlamaailma.fi/juhlatuotteet/ilmapallotarvikkeet/tayttolaitteet-ja-helium-tarvikkeet/helium-tayttolaite-kumi-ja-foliopalloille-economy.html

http://www.peacefulpillhandbook.com/page/Buy+Helium+Fittings

http://www.euraconkeittio.fi

But it’s looking good! My god! If this works, it’s going to be a quite a pleasent sleep. Thank you lord, […]

I was always that little girl smiling everyday. I was a ballerina, you know. You would look at me and think I was always so happy. Wearing pink, giggling with my friends, dreaming of my future. I wanted to live in a mansion, with maids and butlers, and four children. I wanted to be a chef, a teacher, and a singer. Then I turned twelve. That’s when everything went downhill. I still remember the night of March so clearly. You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? I’m telling you now, that whoever started that saying, is correct. […]

Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself, “Why should I even bother getting out of bed?”
Every morning when I look at myself in the mirror, I ask myself, “Why am I still alive?”
As clever as I am, I still can’t answer either of those questions.  Every moment of my life seems like it’s one challenge after the other.  No easing up.  No breaks.  It’s like a boxing match; I’ve gone 22 rounds without a moment’s rest.
All through middle school and high school I worked my ass off to get into a good college.  I pulled that off.  I even managed […]

I met my X-Bestfriend about 5 years ago. Let us call him X. I met X when I was in 7th grade, I was his first REAL friend. We were like brother and sister.  Last year some fucking ***** said to him “Try this its not dangerous, its just a fun thing”.. DRUGS! That fucking ***** let him try it, now he is not that guy I once met for 5 years ago. My friends says ” You should be proud of yourself”. But I´m not, I feel like shiit. I dont eat, I dont wanna feel pain anymore. I´ve allready lost three close friends, […]

Ya know, the human body, for being so fragile, is fucking hard to kill. No one wants a painful death and when it comes right down to it, there’s only a handful of ways to off yourself that could be called humane. Sure, a gun is easy enough to get a hold of, but having the balls to actually pull it trigger?  Much harder than you’d think. Jumping from a high enough building would work,but I get vertigo on the second floor of my apartment, no way I could get on top of that high a building, let alone jump off. If I had my […]

“Depression, in most of its manifestations, is the healthy suspicion that 1) there may not be an aim or point to existence, and/or 2) that the life people have actually created, the ‘structure of society,’ is not one worth participating in. The objective should not be to kill this suspicion, but to tame it and work with it.”

Philosophy And Depression

By Tim Ruggiero

“The vanity of existence is revealed in the whole form existence assumes: in the infiniteness of time and space contrasted with the finiteness of the individual in both; in the fleeting present as the sole form in which actuality exists; in […]

a thought came to me when I was in the bath just now. I wish I was a child again. I have more courage then. I didn’t stop to think whether I will succeed. I just want to die and i did wat i thought will kill. no worries or thoughts of my family suffering. everytime i decide to give myself time, to try again, i only end up hurting myself. im so tired of trying. so tired of pushing myself. so tired of hurting myself. i do alot but they are never enough. i try to smile, act happy but inside i cry and no […]

something happen to me last night . the way that the moon was looking at me. it was like i was dying on the in side.none stop blood burning in inside my body. the pain just feels sp real and there was nothing to do to stop it. crying for help and no one comes to help me but somw how i knew that no one was going to come for me no one can here me at all . the scream’s i doall thru the night . the pain is killing me from the inside out. CAN SOMEONE JUST HELP ME FRO ONES! stop […]

I’m back. I went away for a while, believing that things are getting better. But they are not. They just get worse. Try and try. Go out, talk to ppl. Only make me realize hw lonely I am. It’s all wrong. I wonder what went wrong. Now I’m like a zombie waiting for my time out. That urge to push me off. Keep thinking of jumping. Have nightmares of them. A premonition…my head hurts so fucking much!! Like gonna burst.Cant stand it. i wish im dead. ill be better off dead.

Why do I even go? It’s not like I can really talk to them?

They probably tell anyone who would listen.. especially my family.

My whole life I have been rejected by everyone around me. My friends have left me at every corner, my family no longer talks to me, I feel lost, disappointed and constant emotional pain. In 2010 I tried to focus on university and work, while ignoring and attempting to make the most of my situation. However things became harder. I lost my motivation, I was left by the few friends I had and at 19 I had never kissed a boy, as I was afraid of being judged at left by the one thing I had, my family. This year I finally decided to deal […]

I havent been here for a while now. Cause I thought I was better. But I’m not. The reality of it is I’m worse than I was before. It’s just that now I’m ignoring the pain as it’s sucking me in deeper and deeper. Nobody wants to talk to me. I stare at my phone hoping someone will. But they don’t. I more alone than I’ve ever been. I just want it all to end. I can’t take it. I heard a knock upon my door the other day I opened It to find death staring in my face. This is my new favorite song. […]

I’m gonna fucking do it tomorrow night… but I’m unsure.. emotionally I wanna do it but physical me is to scared…. Inside I know this is wrong.  I’m fucked up okay? Theres nothing left of me. I’ve been fucked over to many time. I lost trust… Today at like 10 pm i was walking down the streeet with friends and I look at houses and I imagine people just having fun… I would be in there… but i’ve fucked things up to be there… just a few seconds ago my GF dumped me and told me I was cheating on her… And i didn’t know how to […]

I am so lonely. So hated. So stupid. I should just kill myself now. Nobody would notice, nobody would care.

-End

http://teensuicidetalk.com/?p=143

i find this very interesting, It really grab my attenion. I self harm myself by scratching deep into my back till it leaves marks on my back. It may hurt but i dont care.I just though i might share it with you guys.

I would assume a large amount of people here know about a.s.h, or least know what it was. If you don’t, google it. It was around from about early ’88 to the early..maybe mid 2000’s (though I don’t think it was that late..most recent thing I found was 2001.) So it’s been a really long time but, I’m curious if anyone knows if it’s around in one form or another anymore. I’m almost positive that the only thing still existing is the archives, but anyone know anything else?

just got back from a weekend recovery for guys who were raped as kids. it was incredibly confronting. I got back and streight into the hands of centrelink and their bumbling. I really arent in a position to deal with this righ now I am hurting all over and I am a train wreck IDK what to do I am jus so exhausted

I was sixteen years old when my first boyfriend broke my heart. We were madly in love with one another. We knew everything about one another and loved everything about eachother through the good and the bad. We made plans to get married and have a family some day. A year into the relationship he broke up with me for no good reason at all. I was completely devastated. I didnt know what to do. It felt like my whole life was just ripped away from me. I spent all my time with him, i hung out with his friends, he was apart of me. […]

No, I don’t have enough money to fly the kids all over the US.

I don’t have enough to keep paying all of the bills.

And my boss enjoys reviewing my performance and pissing in my face on a regular basis.

I have a gun, why haven’t I stuck it in my mouth?

I’ll figure that one out soon.

I’m not exactly sure what to do anymore. My best friend suggests I get help and I know I need help but I’m scared what my mom will say. I will be the odd person out, the only person in the family who would even consider suicide.

I am always overdosing, I don’t believe it’s a problem I’d need to go to rehab for. Is it? I overdose maybe every week? I’m not constantly doing it Everyday so why tell anyone about it?

People I know have been cutting, but it hurts and I always cringe when I think about it. But I have two recent cuts […]