Okay, all I can think about is my past. Everything that I did. And Now I look At Me Right now. And I say to myself.. ‘What have I done’ And I look where I changed…. I can Never Find It. Am I the one changing or are the people around me changing? Is this really life? Or am I just living it wrong? I try to fit in with the minority. I have no spot to go into though. I wanna kill myself right now cause I gave up My life for this girl. I was so in love with her That I didn’t see that […]
Hi. I have just finished registering, after having read the thread about exit bags. I am currently “planning†on suicide. I say “planning†because i have not put much effort into tying loose ends, getting my affairs in order, etc. I don’t have the time, or the energy. I just want to go. But I have a severe problem, I’m very very very very VERY afraid of any unpleasant physical sensations that I am convinced I will experience using the inert gas exit hood method (despite what i have read to the contrary). This is the method I would prefer though. Simply because although I […]
Binging and Binging And Binging on food. What the fuck is wrong with me. I hate myself. I cant even controll myself.I need to stay away. I need to fade away. I dont want to live like this. But for now… im just a binger.
I have been depressed for a few months now maybe even a year and when i was diagnosed with clinical depression it almost locks you up and you feel as if you cant get out, like there is a black cloud following you and it is raining bad thoughts in your head. The worst part about my condition is that my emotions run through my family and my part of my family is depressed as well, im still a young man and with all this mess going on i feel like (as others do) useless and have thoughts that the world could really do better […]
Why did i have to be born?!?! All i do is ruin peoples lives and they ruin mine in return. Why is the world like this? Why are people like this?!?! So cruel, so unforgiving, so horrible. This world is better without me. People will have less problems without me. I cant take it anymore. Im getting closer to killing myself than ever before. My life is hopeless. Why cant i just die already!?!
-End(my life)
Its really nice to be hugged, even if  you have to hug yourself because there is no other option.
I feel like I hate my family.
I feel like I hate most of my friends.
Who’s left?
I recently wrote a post on my blog about Crazy Glue.
Crazy Glue Kicks Clag’s Ass In the Treatment of Broken People.
So how do you fix anything that’s broken? Well, im guessing in America you could fix them with Crazy Glue. Im an Aussie though so all we have is Clag. I’m pretty sure that Clag never really fixed anything including one piece of paper to another. Actually based on what i know of all the kids that ate Clag in primary school all it does is fuck you up … well fuck you up more. I’m pretty sure that […]
Just wanted to say, that the bibble or Jesus never said ANYTHING about suicide at all!
Why? Because the ULTIMATE JUDGMENT rests in the hands of god! HE HAS THE POWER to decide what happens to you when you die! No one can sentense you to HELL, but HE!!!!
I just want this pain to stop–I just want this pain to stop–
Was I bewitched so by the thin red line
To notice not that time released its hold
And let pale Iris snip the silver twine
To steal sweet youth before it turned to gold?
Existence now is not what I was told;
No seraphim and harps to grace my ear,
Just silence, painful silence, and the cold
Discomfort of my masochistic fear,
So icy cold, yet somehow seems to sear
My soul until the ache’s too much to bare,
As mortal life mirages now appear:
Intangible are they; away they tear.
Mistake, it was; the curtain fell too soon
When razor’s edge did charm me […]
I have this song stuck in my head. It reminds me of me sometimes. Sometimes I feel like killing myself just because I’m bored, completely unaffected, apathetic. I feel like one day I’ll just be bored to death; literally.
Anthony walked to his death
Because he thought he’d never feel this way again
If he goes back to the house then things would go from bad to worse
What could he do?
He wants to remember things exactly as he left them on that funny day
And if there is something else beyond, he isn’t scared because
It’s bound to be less boring than today
It’s […]
i’m so far from where i once was. 3-4 years ago was a great time for me, then it all evaporated pretty fast, my job, love life, friends and family, and my motivation.
first of all i lost my job when my childhood friends felt usurped and could not respect my new position in the company even though i earned it, my boss came to me and told me they had talked about my performance. i was doing what my boss wanted and what our suppliers wanted, being in charge i shouldnt be doing the actual work, but they didnt see it that way. i […]
This is a huge simplification of a long-running problem:
A lot of people would envy me. I am a young, healthy, quite attractive & intelligent adult male. I am about to study at a good university.
But I am tired of life. 4 years ago I was popular and the happiest person alive. Now I am not happy and have no friends; they all left. I thought this was the reason for me feeling awful, but now I believe its a mental thing. It is a living curse, my mood goes up & down, where the ‘up’ is emotionless and the ‘down’ is suicidal. There is no pleasure […]
If you are suicial, I know your feelings, and second i really know your feelings. And i know that you are not guilty, or the problem is not you, please think that was you know that?
It is difficult to let you understand because i don’t use english as my primarily language, i would, I was 16 years old and i was seriously throught suicide everytime. and i don’t think it right now.
If you search my username, you will find lots of posts. I really had these feelings and i know how to kill that.
I know it is hard to kill that thought. Every problem can be […]
Bill Plotkin has written a book titled ‘Soulcraft’, in which he describes how a person must embark on their journey to the soul by first embracing and descending into the darkness, no matter how frightening that may be.
He says “The book itself is a trail guide for the mystical descent into the under world of soul: what the descent is, why it is necessary, how to recognize the call to descend, how to prepare for the descent, what the process looks and feels like, and what practices initiate and accelerate the descent and maximise the soul-quickening benefits of the journey.” He warns that “it is […]
I have a Little drinking problem. I just wanted to write a quick poem to get things off my chest.
what doesn’t kill me makes me wish it did. I stopped being afraid of the dark when I realized nothing is darker and scarier than the darkness inside me. some people are just born with sorrow in their blood, like me. and other people on this site. everyone has a choice, they can be happy whenever they want, even suicidal people. but it all depends on how you want to feel, what to do, to forgive and forget, to be happy or in pain. well for me it’s just all pain. maybe I’ll be happy again someday, but I’m not willing to change that right […]
I was beaten by va police while already strapped down in a psyche ward at the va, to cover their ass they made up lies and charged me with assault upon my discharge from the va psyche ward,now im caught in the legal system with court ordered mental evaluations this has costed me over ten grand just to stay out of jail over their.lies and the beating.i took along with the whole truth to.confirm im telling the truth is on video at the va. That video will probably never see the light of day the va dont want people to see how they.really.treat their vets. […]