ok i feel alittle better now i can go on……….i know this is supost to be about suicied im just sharing where all my hate and worthlessness came from i want my storie to be heard. so as time goes on i started making my own friends and living my own little bt of child hood except when it came to my friends always wondering why i always spent the night at there house but never had them spend the night at mine. i lost alot of friends cause they thought i was weird and that i must not have liked then cause i never […]
I been thinking about suicide for 2 years now, and I think im about to reach my limit of how much more I can take, I met a guy and when I’m with him he makes me happy, but when he’s mad he yells at me and a hurts me inside when he does, I always forgive him because I’m in love with him to much. He also thinks about suicide and/or running away, he says he’s gonna cut himself when he gets really depressed and I always manage to stop him before he does, but then I’m never able to worry about me, I […]
I dont care if my grammar is horrible, i just want to rant.
the tv is on
its always on
but the couches
they’re empty
constantly empty
and I lay in bed
watch the sun rise
and set
I’m still in bed
and the couches
they’re still empty
I walk through the house
my home as its called
walk through my life
the daily motions
stare out the windows
down the streets
they’re all empty
like a ghost in a haunted building
my presence is mere chills down a spine
or a creak of the wooden floors
the lights they turn on at night
and off in the morning
but the couches are still empty
and the tv […]
I’m having all around relationship problems. I’m having relationship problems with Jesus and I’m have relationship problems with the one girl that I have loved so deeply. I know she loves me but I feel as though things aren’t going to work out. She has told me that she don’t feel as strongly for me recently as she once did. I just don’t think I will ever find someone as special as she. I’m tired of going through life with this type of hurt. This may seem like a minor problem but my heart feels so heavy right now. I’m crying on a daily basis.
I […]
I do not have access to medications where I am at. I just have some extra strength otc sleeping pills and something else but its more natural so I think I need something a bit stronger to add…can anyone give me some tips?
The pain in my eyes, hidden behind a fractured smile /Crumbling away after years of misuse / Now beyond repair, my soul shattered, by neglect and abuse /I slip under the cover of silence, into a world of self-inflicted violence /Breaking down, under the weight of my mistakes, I look for a way, to unseal my fate / And this won’t go away, no I can’t escape / Trapped by the choices that I’ve made /Searching for answers that can’t be found / And now I can’t hear your voice, over the sound of my world crashing down / No I can’t see your face, […]
I am not pretty. I don’t get the guys. No one turns their head to look at me. No one goes out of their way to talk to me. I’m invisible.
and I guess some of my other family members are too, though my mom is the one everyone bitches about. It’s not as bad as the ones you see on tv though, thank god. But I’m still sure it’s hoarding. She doesn’t throw anything away and because of that she doesn’t clean. When she does “clean” she just takes whatever crap she’s trying to get out of the way and either puts it downstairs or in her room.
This morning my grandma called a little before 7 am(about 50 mins ago) and told my mom to go pull out a cabinet my aunt was trowing away […]
These holidays I plan to forget about you, BOTH of you. You’re both messing with my life and you don’t even know it.
No more seeing if you’re online. No more thinking about you all day. No more losing sleep over thoughts about you.
Just get out of my head, and hopefully stay out. If not, I don’t know what I’ll do. You’re like torture.
Kaylee(me):You never talk to me anymore
Jeson:It’s hard to talk to you
Me:I feel like you’ve given up on this..
Jeson:I’ve changed
Me:You’re going to let this go? You’re going to say you love me and care for me and that I’m your best friend and act like we can go back to normal after you admit you’ve given up?
Jeson:It’s not that
Me:You can talk to everyone else easily….
Jeson: What do you mean?
Me: when we talk you are always staring at your phone smiling because of a girl
Jeson:What are you talking about? Â I talk to her like I talk to you.
Negative
1. I’m UGLY
2. I’m fat
3. I’m disgusting
4. I’m stupid
5. I’m boring
6. I’m depressed
7. I’m suicidal
8. I’m not confident enough
9. I’m addicted to hurting myself
10. I’m crazy?
Positive
1. I’m …
I’ve read a few posts on this page, and it’s probably the only thing in this area that lifted my spirits in this subject. I hate all the love and optimism shit that gets spread around these topics, especially if the person in question has a terminal disease. I think this optimism alienates people who are already jaded and cynical, or at the least, lonely and confused. Example, go watch anything where the target audience is a breast cancer patient. Maybe it helps people who have enough in them to buy it, but I don’t know, reading a […]
I’ve been sick lately. I’ve been Very sick. I should take the pills and end it now. While my immune system is fucked now.
someone please
crack open my skull
look inside my miserable brain
dig around in there deep
and find all the sadness
all the pain and suffering
and take it all away
rip it out of there
and replace it
fill my little brain back up
with joy and hope
and a will to live
give me the drive to be
and close my skull back
sew me up good as new
but now better than ever
someone please
save this dying soul
well my suicide will be by pills. I have researched for hours and stuff like that. I finally found the right mix of pills that will most likely kill me, I don’t know any other way, because pills are the only way I could do it. I’m too freaking lonely. sure, being alone is a good thing sometimes, but not every day of every year. I can’t socialize because of where I live, and it’s too hard trying to hold on. still need to write a few suicide notes, that’ll take a while though..
growing restless
with relentless panic
and I know the cure
a quick slice of the knife
and all the pain rushes out
gushes out in pools of blood
or I can take those pills
crush them to a fine powder
vacuum them up my nose
into my bloodstream
feel the particles deep in my marrow
finding the pain in every corner
and killing the last bit of it
or a quick shot of vodka
and then eight more
and all the weight off my shoulders
slipping away like a distant memory
but all these cures fade fast
and here I am again
feeling so restless
Show me hope and I’ll never let go
Hope has only given me more pain to know..
Friend of mine died from over dosing on sleeping pills. This has been quite a while maybe like 4 years? i never got the details as his family was very hurt and shocked by this. but from what i learned is that he took 32 50 mg sleeping pills (over the counter) and some alcohol(spirits,liquor) and sat in his bath. now im confused as to how he died some say he drowned when he went unconscious and some are saying he just over dosed and went to sleep in the water(forever) i just miss him a lot and i just had a random dream of […]
Today I’ve cut long and deep. 3 times. I can’t quit..I don’t want to which makes That even worse