when is it okay to die?
Ok then, I donâ€™t suppose there is much point me lying anymore. I do that a lot, lying, it always seems to be the best way to continue without actually living or letting anything out. The problem is I want to live, I donâ€™t want to be one of these people that just pretends to be someone else and never feels true emotion. I suppose itâ€™s easy, I should know Iâ€™ve been doing it for the fourteen years of my life. But these days I just feel myself wanting to scream and breakdown, I donâ€™t want to put a brave face on it; I […]
Since i came to my new school i felt depressed from the very start. I’m 16 and at my age i’m not required to study anymore. If i fail this next year i won’t be allowed to study anymore and my life won’t have a meaning. Sometimes i just want to end it by cutting my wrists, or taking a pill jar but i just cant get the courage.
It saddens me to see these young kids considering suicide as an option.Â You have a long time left to live and you’ve got rampant hormones.Â You need to ride it out and see what the future provides.
Sadly I have seen what the future provided and now that I’m 45, I’m not sure I want to continue.Â I’m going on my second divorce.Â I haven’t had a sex life in 20 years.Â I spent 10 of those years looking for the right woman and 10 of them married to the wrong woman.Â The prime of my life has passed me by and I got robbed.
When I think of myself more often then not I just want to puke. I used to be so happy and free spirited and I feel high school and just recent events in my life is ruining me. I am more cynical, I dont get along with parents, I dont have a 4.0, I feel fat and ugly…i am a let down to my amazing little sisterÂ and my life is just one big treadmill. Its like ive climbed on and cant get off. I just have to keep running because I cant stop or I will get flung off and I dont know how to […]
I lost her as my real wife in the eary 70’s.
Now as I am 56, married, one child; I yearn to hear from her. I hope life has been kind to her.
Such is a little less on my end. I never made it out of Bothell.Â
I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. I don’t really know why. I just don’t like to be alive. Nothing has ever happened to me, and I think for most of my life, it hasn’t been a horrible life. I just don’t like living it anymore. It’s getting harder to deal with.
I’m 28, separated from my husband for a year now and have an unplanned pregnancy with someone who I wish would die. I’m not that lucky though. I miss being with husband, I love him more than anything and would do anything for him. We have 2 beautiful girls.Â I wish […]
That date might not mean much to you, it’s just like easter sunday or monday or whatever, to you. To me, that’s going to be the date on my grave; May 1994 – April 2009. I’m doing it then, simply because that’s when I’m guarenteed no one [my grandparents, my brothers] is going to walk in and somehow manage to prolong this. Somehow manage to like, spring me backÂ to lifeÂ and race me to the hospital so they can “save” me while still conveniently managing to give me amnesia or something so I forget that I’m supposed to DIE.
Also, they’ve told me they’re sending me to […]
i tried to hang myself when i was like 8 or 9 with a jump rope. i was 13 when i took like 8 different bottles of pills. both attempts didnt work, obviously, but i still have horrible nightmares of past experiences and some weird memories of abuse are coming back to me. i wonder if im going crazy and making stuff up (im 17)… i admit that i’d rather be alright and have had a life where NOTHING bad has happened and everything is perfect but im wondering if im not a psychological hypochondriac..the memories are so vivid though. i can remember feelings, […]
is it incest when its your adopted uncle who molests, etc…?
i was 6 or 7 at the time and he was 16 or 17….
i remember him always saying that i had ‘sexy legs’. and i remember being in a room with him and i was naked and crying and he was laughing, i cant remember if he was naked but i know his adoptive mom, my step grandmother, came in and started beating him and then it goes blank..
is that incest?
I dont know why i have joined this site.Where do i start ? The darkness has over come me now all my past has come out of me.I mean i was abused whan i was in childrens home at the age of 9 im now 42.It took me till the age of 37 to tell some one what had happed after several atemps to end my life about 5 years ago.I was told nothing could be done so again i was let down and had to hide it all again.My first wife and i split over all this ,yes we have kids .I remarried just […]
My life was perfectly fine until things started in the 5th grade. I was your normalÂ self-centered, bratty, know-it-all, drama queen, annoying, 10-year-old, until my mom decided she was leaving my dad. That day broke my heart, and tears are now splattering on my keyboard just thinking about it. When she told me the news,Â an unnatural shriek escaped my mouth, and she was surprisingly laughing at me, though I was standing in a pile of tears. Later that day my dad attempted talking to me about it, but for the first time in my whole life he put his head in his hands and cried right […]
I was going ou with Sarah for 3years 4 months. we had our ups and downs just like any normal people. Her life was not a good one but i was there to make it better for her. She wanted to be a veterinary nurses i tryed to help her get to her dream job but couldn’t. so in the ned she did give up on it.
It got to the ponit there I wanted to be with her for the rest of my left but i wanted to be a good husband and get it so that i could look after her and have a […]
It all started on a friday afternoon. My mom had just picked me up from school and we were on our way to pick up my older siblings from their schools. Then i had noticed my mom was acting very peculiar. So i asked if everything was ok, and she replied no with a fake smile. i knew something was wrong but i just didnt know what. Once we picked up my older siblings i got ready for a girl scout troop meeting. My mom drove me to it and as soon as she had arrived back at my fathers house she told my […]
I was never considered pretty, never thought of as a beautiful young lady. Or a truely happy one for that matter. But everything changed when I met “him”. I can’t say he caused this aching dead feeling I have right now, because it was well before that it started, But he never helped. We went out for nearly 3 months. And I was really into him, I did most of my “firsts” with him. Including loosing my virginity, which people may considerÂ I was a slag because I was only 12. But I loved him, and I thought he loved me. People will say “you don’t […]
Â I think it all happened in seventh grade. I met this wonderful girl, her name was Patricia. I first met her in drama class, she had brought this razor to class and was cutting up her notebook. All I could think of was the razor I played with last night cutting into my wrists again and again. I slowly fell for her, she didn’t even help me up. I was so near to telling her how I had felt, but she told me about this guy, they were going out and she was inlove with him. . . She tore my heart out, squised it […]
Â I’m stupid. I can hardly get a C in a class. My dad calls me a flunky, failure, stupid and a *****. I’m not pretty at all. I eat a lot but I’m not super fat. Every one picks fun of me, I’m aways wearing black. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about seven months and still nothing has changed. I haven’t changed. I smoke and I’m only 15. I like to think of older guys. People scar me. I have to many fears. My best hobby would have to be researching serial killers. My parents say I’ll be one.
Â Any one who […]
I am as empty as I am alone.15 years of fighting my impulses and depression has left me little more than a shell.I’ve been waiting for life to show me that it’s worth living,but I think I’ve lost the point somewhere along the way.I feel like I’m drowning.I don’t talk to anyone about the way I feel,and noone seems to care.I’ve done and been through so much,but it’s never the good stuff that stays with me.It’s the pain and heartbreak that haunts me.My pain has far outweighed my ability to cope and it seems like things get worse every year.I destroy everything I touch and […]
Its how I feel most of the time. I want to say I just feel stupid most of the time but that’s not the word I’m looking for. I’m extremely hard on myself and reaching out for help is something I hardly ever do. I guess you could say I’m the type who always offers to help ((even people I don’t know)) but never actually asks for help myself especially when I need it. I try to help people as best I can on this site by offering to listen to them, but I feel as if no one will listen to me ((on and […]
I really prefer not to die but I see no recourse. I have suffered throughout my life literally since conception. I was born to a woman going thru a nervous breakdown. Her 18 mo. old daughter died of heat stroke.
I weighed only 44oz. at birth. I was delivered via Caesaerean due to complications. I then suffered prolonged oxygen deprivation at abou 3 mos. I was given the last rites of the Catholic Church as i was supposed to die then. I would have been better off.
I then went to an orphanage and multiple foster homes. I was physically abused up till age 3. I was […]