So hey.
I’m not completely sure how to start this off. I’ve been on this site before. Clearly, I’m not better. Or else I wouldn’t be posting here yet again.
I’ve struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was a child. I’m on medication once again. It helped for a short while..but it’s still here. It always was, I think I just wanted the medication to work so bad, that I tried so hard to block out the bad thoughts.
I’m not asking for sympathy.
I don’t know who I am. I’ve never loved anyone, but I crave to feel loved. My family doesn’t […]
The only time I feel okay is when I’m on drugs.
after sulli died..another angel passed away.. im sorry we couldn’t protect you from this cruel world..i love you..im so proud of you..rest well love..
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Bought the pills. Gonna take a stroll somewhere far. Preferably where there is water. Even if I am found it’ll be too late. I’ll probably end up on the news somewhere (hope not) and yea… ????
I’m not so sure. The language makes it seem like I do – we have words for that, you know. I, me, my. Have you ever felt like you’ve melted into the landscape and lost all perspective of the things those words refer to? I miss that feeling. Whenever I have to deal with bills, being presentable, cleaning, fixing something that’s broken, talking to someone to clear up a misunderstanding, it detracts from that sense of flowing with my surroundings. It’s like a skipping CD (for those of us old enough to remember that). Why would anyone want to fill the world with something so […]
a beautiful soul hums like the sea
trapped inside a pearly conch drum
it sings its hymns to the vast oceans
waiting in the sand
I accept my days to be bad, some of them very bad. I’m ok with it, thats my reality. So there is not a single fucking day, that I can sit in a chair at the end of the day and say: hey, today was alright. I know things would come to this point, being who I am and the choices I made.
But today… fuck me! Everything I’ve said and done went wrong. Even things I just thought had make me feel like a piece of shit. Every single minute of this day was awful and unreal. It was not the usual bad, it was […]
do i just flow into the mold of others taking on their personality just so they like me? is it a personality disorder where i am just many different people? or is it just who i am, a jack of many trades one might say?
“If only you had appreciated her love for astronomy. You would have been able to understand that she paints galaxies with her eyes. That the dots of freckles on her cheeks represent the millions of stars floating around outer space. Her veins are infused with stardust, and she has comets dancing on her arms.
When she would feel angry, it would have reminded you of meteors shooting through the sky. In her moments of happiness, it would have reminded you of shooting stars, a dream come true. When she was sad, it was like a broken universe. People tried to shrink her, take her words away, […]
The answer?
I don’t know.
Maybe just to suffer more.
This is so frustrating.
If I tell them that it’s okey if they go.
They‘ll just go.
It would not be right to let them stay if they want to go.
But am I really okey?
No, it’s painful, but I can’t blame anyone.
It’s the right thing to do.
It’s better this way.
I hope that they will never look back.
Maybe they‘ll leave me behind.
It would be really painful.
But then I will be free.
I could finally just go.
And if they are reading this.
Are you slowly leaving me behind?
If yes, thank you.
If no, well, I’ll just wait.
I am so tired of hearing “You are not alone,” or “you’re not the only one.” When in fact anytime I try to explain the reason my existence pains me to ANYONE I’m ridiculed and/or shamed. Don’t even get me started on how many times I’ve been told that I’m “just being negative,” and “it’s all in my head, so all I have to do is just think positive.” If I’m not the only one going through this shit, how come no one else can relate?
My life is full of ups and downs. I mostly see the downs. I hate myself. I hate what I have become. Actually, I’ve always hated who I was. Always but with different variations. These past few months or even year, for all I know, I’ve hated myself almost as much as my high school years (so close to death at that time).
I am grudgeful, bitter, hateful, pessimistic and unmotivated. Unmotivated to live and to make friends.
Friends : People who are in and out of my life. At this point mostly out. People whom I have shared my life with for years and […]
Does anyone know what the point of life is? Because I’m scared it’s just “having fun”. Like there’s no actual good or truth in the world everything is pointless and meaningless, and just garbage. I have no one to talk to I don’t even see any point still I’m scared I’m always going to feel like this, it’s been years and nothing gets better even though I’ve tried. I’ve tried meds, I’ve done therapy, I’ve been hospitalized, it never lasts and never works.
hey guys, is there a way i can prevent my family members from committing suicide after my death?
Im so dissappointed with myself and some other people
I cant stand some things, they are killing me, why cant l change them, why do l have to accept this shit
For some weeks now I have begun the steps to ask for my assisted suicide. It’s something permitted in my country for psychological reason. I guess that some of you will then guess what country it is. I don’t want any comments on my posts if possible.
I’m sorry my posts won’t certainly be very well written and it won’t be very… how can I say that… liquid in the way that ideas will come as they arrive in my head. So be nice please.
I just want to leave my trace. I don’t need any comments or anything alike. I don’t seek for empowerment […]
Things are getting serious now. I have started praying for my death. Seriously, just getting on my knees in the dark and just ask whatever or whoever out there to kill me. I’ll let you know how this goes. I’ve sunked too deep now. I feel so numb and unmotivated. Everything is becoming a hassle.
Everyday now. Every day I go outside and wish I could be out of here. I have a pocket knife in my coat pocket that reminds me now much I hate myself. I could fix it but it’s definitely too late. The other day it sliced my thumb like butter. I’m obsessed with the thought of not being here. Please help me just send prayers please