I am here for you. Always. You are my family, my closest friends. I believe in you and in Suicide Project. Merry Christmas to everyone. Share love and affection with your loved ones. Don’t let depression, disorders or crisis ruin these days of happiness. I wish the best!
Tag:
Affection
Read the title again. Do have those eyes? Do you see the lies? You might think you do, but many of you (myself included) do not see the most obvious of lies, the ones from the people you love the most. When you love someone oh so dearly, you don’t want to see the bad out of them whether it be a boyfriend, mother, father, husband, wife, best friend etc. But let me tell you when you finally see those lies. It will hit you. I’m not saying everyone around you is bad. But those people you call friends, are they really your friends? When […]
I am destined to destroy myself my darker thoughts may lessen from time to time but they never go away the need for physical pain and inebriation holds me down. For every good day there are thousands of bad ones. I’ve never done anything good for myself. I convince myself I don’t need to eat today get blackout drunk grab a razorblade or hunting knife and cut myself open and watch the blood pour. I can keep myself busy and not think destructively but when I sit and think for 5 minutes I think about shotguns and razors. No one cares to be around me […]
My home life really isn’t as bad as some here. But, I’m not going to say it is spactacular, because I would not be telling the truth.
But at home, there is always conflicts. People are always unhappy. And if I want to talk to anyone in my family about my feelings of depression or emptiness or loneliness, they get shoved asside. When I went to the mental home last year and my parents found I was suicidal, it was more like, you’re turning your back on god, or, how could you be so selfish?
I never want to be a greedy person or selfish, […]
My heart needs refuge, my mind needs silence and my hands, my hands always empty, wishing one day they can enjoy the taste of affection.
I watch their hands interlock and I wonder if my hands are too small or too ugly to be held. Always cold, always lonely are the knots in my fingers making it impossible for them to properly fit. Do the deep honest lines cut like razors too close to your skin. I wonder, I wonder about all the moments they’ve spent lifeless and confused.
I place my heart in a jar and my mind just needs medication but […]
My story THERE IS ALOT TO READ SO GET COMFORTABLE and I wish I could give all those people who read the whole thing a damn cookie or something for their efforts!
Right from the beginning my childhood was far from ideal. My mother was a drug addict and gave no affection or encouragement that I can remember.
I never met my father until later in my childhood, he also turned out to be a scary looking toothless drug addict and acted like he knew me far too well which didn’t sit well with me at all.
When I was born I had two older brothers, […]
So, it’s my Birthday again tomorrow; I’ll be 23. Ever get the feeling of deja vu? Nothing seems to change, aside from an increasing feeling of isolation and a decreasing feeling of motivation for life. I don’t feel human anymore. I don’t want to be alive, I cannot see a way out of my isolation apart from death. Of course, this would seem rather over-dramatic from an outside perspective, from those “just get over it, cheer up!” types. However, for almost a decade now I have had no friends, no connection with others and no affection. I won’t pretend I’m not bitter, because I am, […]
All I want righ now is a hand to hold.
Isn’t it a basic need?
To be loved…
How good it would to be needed. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore…
Everytime someone shows at least a bit affection I get so excited. And I can’t help myself that I fall for those people so fast… He was drunk and called me pretty, thats enough for me. Now I have the most beautiful dreams about him. I gave him my number and he doesn’t even text or call me. That’s the worst, I think he’s into another girl. And I can’t do anything […]
I have been a drug addict since I was 15. Â Ive had periods of sobriety the longest being four years however I am once again in active addiction. Â I am a failure in every sense of the word and all I want is to die. Â I have tried several times and just like everything else I try to do in my miserable life I failed. Â I am emotionally and spiritually dead already and have been for most of my life. Â Im 30 years old unemployed and live with my parents. Â Three years ago I owned a home with my beautiful fiance. Â I had all the […]
I guess it started when I was born. I’m currently writing incredibly bluntly, please bear with it. I’m immensely bitter, especially right now. The state I’m in right now is disjointed and confusing and I just don’t understand anything of my thoughts, I thought maybe writing my story out would help.
Right, so I guess it started when I was born. So really, just this family. I’ve been abused as a kid. I don’t realize this until now. I didn’t understand this as abuse, and I was a child who only knew their parents to be right. I didn’t really understand the concept of having your […]
When I was 8 year old, I thought I was living a perfect life. I had both parents living with me. I had a older brother and older sister who took good care of me. I thought everything was going alright… I now know what a lie I was living.
My Dad was a alcoholic. My siblings tried their hardest to hide this fact from me. It worked and I didn’t know much about my Dad. I only knew that he comes home from work at night to sleep which was a lie. He was unemployed. He came home every night to take my brothers money. […]
Things to be, things that are there, things to keep… They are the things that must exist. Because they stay unaffected by the evils of other things. They are like glass, even when broken, they keep shining. Â They are different for each person. They may not follow standards or fashion, only the person’s soul. So they don’t necessarily have to be material (like dreams). But what is certain is they are always the dearest, cherished ones. We cling onto them, never let go of them, and cry, when we lose them, or when they’re suddenly taken away from us. And even then, when they are […]
Hi, I dont know who to talk to or who to open up to because my pain is my pain. And no one can ease that pain. I sit here and I think that the people that said they love me or care for me but where are they now. It’s true, I’m going to be alone and no one to cry to or tell me we are going to get through this together. W hy have these men come into my life and took that one thing I CHERISHED. Therevare times whereby I just want to find that one blade that will end my […]
Someone’s misplaced affection has made my day.
An unknown number’s text wished me good morning and later added that I was missed. How wonderful it feels to be missed even if it was just for a second before I realized it’s a text sent to my phone by accident. It can’t really be for me. It’s like when u see someone waving at you and u wave back only to realized they were waving at someone else. Oh the disappointment and how it melts off the smile on your face.
I hate to think someone was waiting for a text wishing them good morning […]
Here’s my story.
I lived in England for two and a half years. I had amazing experiences there, gained friends, found a good church and met my ex bf (whom I loved and still love). I was catholic before but became born again Christian which is a significant thing that happened to me while I was in England.
My ex and I were very close and very sweet. People always looked at us whenever we go out or even at church probably because we look good together or probably because of our overflowing affection to each other. We’ve been together for almost 9 months. We had issues […]
There’s no life with clean breaks
Or no chance we can’t take
Forgiveness lies too deep
To be vanished away
So flawless from the outside
Never trust a stranger
Farewell to our hearts
Remember the so-called desire
A brand new spirit destiny
Won’t let my mind play tricks on me
Closed chapters, opened curtains
To let myself be focused
Through coldest nights we found ourselves marching
Summer nights were meant to save us
And stop us from aching
I don’t need another tragic ending
No time for precious glorifying
What’s left in me will be better shortly
I learned too much, I’ve seen it all
My friend kinda had privilege from the beginning, which made her a little selfish in the way she handled things. Well, our relationship started coming apart when her mom saw how affectionate I was with her. (And not kissing or anything, but I was kinda needy when it came to affection back in 9th grade.) I would hug her alot, well my friend wasn’t this huggy with anybody (not even to her mom as far as I could tell.)
My friend had also, been friends with another girl in the past, who was really affectionate (like call her on the phone everynite obsessively affectionate.) My friend’s […]
So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]
A mind that asks many questions
A mind mind that realizes there will never be any answers
A pair of eyes that cry in the wrong direction
A red heart longing for affection
I know the truth
And I want my heart to stop beating
For love in another means nothing if your own is slowly depleting
I’ve hated my life and the people who had to be in it
The horrible ones
And my useless mind and it’s emotions
No I’ve done my meditation
And like a band aid it covers over the wound temporarily
And I’ve been in counselling
And few understand I’m rare you see
And […]
Used to be a golden boy as a kid. Smart, witty, charming, and good at everything I put my heart into. Grew up with and angel for a mother, protective, affectionate, caring, and strong who always supported and provided for me and my brother being a single mother.
She had lost two husbands to death in her life. My dad being the second when I was 8.
Lived as a kid with undiagnosed adhd, which resulted in denial of authority at school getting into trouble due to lack of attention, interest and fooling around. I used make people laugh disturbing the class with my humour.
When I […]
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