been in the darkness so long so the darkness is what I became
my world is dark only one way to release the pain
i befriened the steel in the darkness she knows how to ease my pain
alone in the dark no one can hear you scream you can open your mouth but no sound comes out
physical pain is my only release
alone in the dark with the demons and me
The river runs red but it all in my head
I’m stuck in this place between knowing that society thinks I need help and knowing that nobody could possibly help me at this point. I’m stuck in between this place of knowing this gets better and hating my life so much that I want to die and end the pain. I’m stuck in between this place of knowing that someone, somewhere, cares about me, and the realization that nobody around me loves me anymore. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I want to end my miserable existence, but I’ve failed 27 different suicide attempts and obviously, that won’t work anymore. The man […]
Im so tired of all of this. Im blessed that i have a roof over my head. Im just tired of struggling in every capacity of my life. I dont have a method or else id be dead. I’m doing my best but genuinely what i really want is deaths sweet embrace. The permanent insignificance that ive lived my entire life is so all encompassing. Even here i feel alone. I feel alone everywhere. I dont belong. I felt belonging for such a short time so long ago i dont even know if it happened…. I’d give anything for a time machine or a […]
So I have been temporarily let out of the hospital… On condition that a nurse is always has to come over and check on me I wanted to surprise you guy’s I was let out maybe 6 hours ago I just didn’t feel like talking… The hospital made me worse currently right now is a box of painkillers with over 750 pills in it and I don’t know what’s stopping me from taking the whole lot…. I’m honestly done with life but if I fuck up now and don’t succeed I won’t be let out of the hospital for a year or 2….
My “Mom” is […]
I should be happy, right? My birthday is soon and I’ll be 25… Fuck that! I don’t want to live to 50, let alone 25. This urge is getting worse. I want to take a knife, cut open my stomach and rip my damn guts out.
This turtle I’m eating tastes nice… like gluttony.
I was supposed to do my essay.
For weeks now.
Its not done.
Its not getting done.
I’m crying.
Why am I crying? I’m supposed to be working.
No no, I’m crying.
I’m crying I’m so sad.
I’m so sad. I am so alone. I am so sad I am so sad.
I am so sad. I hate myself.
I’m going to kill myself in a week or so.
I hate myself. I want to die.
I’m going to kill myself.
I hate myself.
I am a dumb fucking piece of shit ready to die.
I’m already rotten.
Nobody cares.
Even when people are around me, I feel alone. I am never satisfied. I just feel so utterly alone and the one person that made me not feel alone doesn’t want me anymore. I want to die a million times.
I can’t escape these thoughts. Maybe it would be different if they told me from the beginning, “you know, there’s a very good chance that this is something you’re going to have to adapt to, because it might go away but you’re probably going to feel these things at some level until the day you die.” But I feel like I’ve passed the point where I could have adapted or changed my thinking patterns. It’s like an obsession, thinking of suicide.
Everyday, I see the train and watch the light approach the platform. I feel the train push the wind into me before it trembles past, […]
You dont have to drink alone we can have one togther Cheers ?
I finally joined after a few days of reading what people have written, which isn’t much different from what I want to say. I have had thoughts of suicide, I’ve actually been very close to committing suicide, I stopped myself from that one time, I held a knife that was digging into my neck. The only reason why i stopped was because of the effects on my family. I think of suicide everyday now, it’s becoming worse. Now i cut my wrists. I sit in my room alone and I cut myself, every cut I would make I would have tears in my eyes, and […]
I’m alone. If this website has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not alone. That pain, guilt, shame, anger and sorrow echo deep inside many of us at every moment of the day. That any moment can be our last or can be our turning point. I will keep struggling today because I know things always change. Often they change back and I’m left desiring the epic release of death but at least for a moment I know I might not feel that way. I’m not sure i’d say that moment is worth it but I have nothing else to look forward to.
I wish you […]
I’m so alone, and it’s one of the most painful things to know that I will probably always be alone. It just hurts.
If you wanna have a talk feel free to add me on skype: phil2921
i have had the day from hell. sexual abuse, alone, no family, saw my mother, her denial of what my father did to me, i ended the day with loud music in my earbuds and finished off the brandy. it helped. it numbed. im not a drinker but sometimes i do. what csa has done to me is not pretty, i am always suffering, i want to find a painless way to say goodbye wont think of god, wont serve the devil, either, cant see her anymore, life so painful, nobody knows, every day, ive had enough of being so alone, nobody knows, no, nobody
Just feeling very alone and scared and sad.
I literally have nothing left to live for. My last hope for my future is gone now. My clock is ticking down to the last seconds. I want this pain to just leave me alone, just for a little while. I’m so tired of being in pain… If there was ever a shot at happiness for me, it’s long gone now. It’s gone, just like my dreams.
I was born in a thunderstorm
I grew up overnight
I played alone
I’m playing on my own
I survived
I wanted everything I never had
Like the love that comes with light
I wore envy and I hated that
But I survived
I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go
Where the wind don’t change
And nothing in the ground can ever grow
No hope, just lies
And you’re taught to cry into your pillow
But I survived
I’m still breathing! I’m still breathing!….
I’m alive! I’m alive! ………..
Im so alone i have no friends at all not even online friends, ive had some online friends but that was a while ago. I cant remember the last time ive connected to anyone irl. I dont have very good social skills irl and im fucking shy as hell. Ive been in school since oct and have not made a single friend. I miss those 1 to 1 human interactions its so hard to go on everyday
Hi my dearest friends.. I got some tragic news i am still not ready to share yet, probably tonight.. I was wondering if anybody will play youtube tag with me so i wont feel so alone.. I tell you a song: you listen.. then you tell me a song: i listen… music can heal… help me to heal, would you… i will start… she is love by parachute
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