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Back To College

by JiminyCrispies 3/1/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.

After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]

3/1/2016 5 comments

Is it wrong?

by canadiansunset 3/1/2016

written by canadiansunset

I thought I had met the most amazing guy and that he actually liked me. He promised me he would try to be with me despite it was against his religion (he is Muslim). We had a pregnancy scare but we thought it was nothing, and we went off for Winter Break. He wouldn’t even kiss me anymore because it was “wrong” but said he was trying his best to be ready for me. Once the break was over, I didn’t go back to uni and he just stopped talking to me. Soon after, I found out I was actually pregnant and he just pushed me away. He […]

3/1/2016 27 comments

Nothing left

by jsjones 3/1/2016

written by jsjones

At 38 I feel like I have nothing worth living for, and I am just a ghost to everything and everyone around me. I grew up with an abusive father who my mother still is married to. I have been living in LA for 17 years trying to chase my dream of working in the film industry. My best friend killed himself back 2010 and left me in his will. I had money but I lost it al because I couldn’t find anyone to hire me. So I used my money to work on other people’s movies for free. I’ve had a boyfriend for three […]

3/1/2016 14 comments

Don’t pity the dead pity the living

by Drowning 3/1/2016

written by Drowning

The dead don’t have to struggle day to day the dead don’t have to suffer emotional pain the dead don’t have to battle with them self everyday we are not living just merely surviving each day….

hate waking up dreading to face another day well off I go to the doctors to see if they can fix me with more meds sitting with people coughing at spluttering everywhere some of these people are actually ill yet I’m sitting here physically fine but only if they knew if the doctor could give me a pill to put me to sleep for ever I would proberly go home […]

3/1/2016 3 comments

Talking to no one in the middle of the night

by Cordless 3/1/2016

written by Cordless

Since it is two in the morning here, I realize this is probably the worst possible time to be here expecting any sort of answer.

I’ve noticed there’s an “evening group” which is usually here from about 7:00 to midnight or so, and then there’s (as Douglas Adams might put it), a “long, dark tea-time of the soul” for a handful of hours until the “morning group” arrives around 5:00 or so.

Because of internet connectivity issues, I missed the usual evening time-shift and didn’t get here til about midnight or so.

This means my insomniac self mostly has an inactive page for most of the night.

Originally I […]

3/1/2016 70 comments

I want my baby back.

by canadiansunset 2/29/2016

written by canadiansunset

This is my second post. I still feel depressed. I lost my baby and can’t seem to get over it. My dad tells me I’m fat everyday and says I should go to the gym but I don’t really want my bump to go away…at least not yet. I even miss the asshole of the father of my baby even thou he mistreated me and is happy as it could be. I can’t trust anyone. I feel alone. My family is not supportive. I wish to be gone.

2/29/2016 13 comments

Downhill

by Bri 2/29/2016

written by Bri

At least that’s how it feels everything is going.

Everyone here would love to disagree with me. “But Brittany, you’re such a brilliant girl!” “But Brittany, you’re such a social butterfly! Everyone loves you!”

It doesn’t feel like it…

I can’t find the will to get out of bed anymore, I think it’s getting bad again, but I don’t know how to tell anyone… Because there’s always something they see that somehow proves that I’m completely fine- in their opinion. I’m constantly numb. I’ve thought of things I haven’t thought of in a while and it scares me. I don’t want to go back to being desperate to […]

2/29/2016 5 comments

College Tomorrow

by JiminyCrispies 2/28/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

The panic has started to set in again as my mum has repeatedly mentioned that I have to go back to college tomorrow.

Despite threatening to not even go into the building, she’s still insistent that I go. She warned me about if my personal tutor rings her again if I’m not in. I can’t go in. The Others are still there. They’re in my class, and I’ll die if I go in. I’ve ran out of excuses to stay off.

I’ve had multiple panic attacks this weekend just thinking about going in. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need to get out of […]

2/28/2016 3 comments

I really hate myself

by Drowning 2/28/2016

written by Drowning

I really hate myself I hate my self image in 2012 I was 14 stone for my high I was fat I’m 5 ft 5 so I lost all when down to 10 stone from being depressed and not eating now I can’t stop eating again and im puting it back on slowly I’m depressed already and that’s depressing me more see I keep trying to fill that fucking void inside now I’m filling it with food for fuck sake why what is that void it’s always been there I don’t no what it is but I no I need to make sure it’s filled […]

2/28/2016 4 comments

Hanging with a friend and feeling better.

by tiredthoughts 2/28/2016

written by tiredthoughts

Now im thinking of how I i spoke and wrote earlier. I wish I didn’t say alot of it. Tomorrow, I will make and eat a good breakfast and begin to exercise, hopefully. Definetly go out for coffee. And back.

2/28/2016 2 comments

One of “those” nights

by voiceless 2/28/2016

written by voiceless

Do you ever have one of those nights where all of the thoughts that you try to keep in the back of your head come out all at once and all you want to do is cry? Well, that’s literally me as I’m typing this. But I wanna know, what are some things that distract you? Or even make you happy? This is starting to become a weekly habit and it needs to stop now.

2/28/2016 3 comments

I’m done.

by canadiansunset 2/27/2016

written by canadiansunset

I’ll start this post by telling you my story. I’m 19 years old and I have been depressed my whole life. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong here and I’ve wanted to kill myself ever since I can remember even though I didn’t have a good enough reason. Nevertheless, I wasn’t strong enough and I never got the courage I needed to do it mainly because I didn’t want to hurt my family especially my mom. Nonetheless, ever since this year started I feel I can’t take it anymore. I had to drop university which I loved and finally was making friends (which got […]

2/27/2016 2 comments

Comfort in holding the gun..

by headupunderdarkcloud 2/27/2016

written by headupunderdarkcloud

To feel the weight in my hand, the cold of its steel against my lips, playing with the trigger, but never quite enough to pull.
It’s laying here in bed with me, I’ve been laying in bed most all day, I lay in bed most all days, till eventually get up, maybe buy a burrito or go for a run.
I think about her, and how her brother used the gun, how her father used the gun, how my father used the gun.
Too many guns.
I think of all the other hers, the ones that almost were, the most recent hers, but still it […]

2/27/2016 3 comments

That feeling

by Drowning 2/27/2016

written by Drowning

its weird how a few cuts to the wrist can take away so much pain from inside can distract my mind from eating me alive for them few moments everything is ok I’m in control I feel alive its proberly the only time I actually feel comfortable with myself until I stop all my problems seem to go away but the demons will be back soon And il get lost in my thoughts once again

2/27/2016 4 comments

by EasilyHopeless 2/27/2016

written by EasilyHopeless

I don’t even know how long it’s been, but here I am, back again.

2/27/2016 5 comments

Ugly people don’t matter.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/26/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brad-pike/2013/11/do-ugly-people-have-any-value-at-all-2/

I don’t know why I dwell on my perpetual dateless more than my other issues. Maybe it’s because I get reminders of it everywhere. I don’t think im ugly just an unattractive. Its the same distinction between impoverished and broke. I’ve been working out but yesterday i tweaked my back in the gym. When i went to see Deadpool I saw reminders of someone i love(d) that I will never see again. I realize that my first love is my last love because I’m too shy/scared/unattractive to find someone.

2/26/2016 12 comments

Whining.

by Nisus 2/25/2016

written by Nisus

At work now. I’m vacillating between being self-destructive and driving myself closer to the edge, or just hanging on and playing everything by ear, day by day. I sort of just don’t care. Some days I do, other days I don’t. But I really cannot ever see myself being ‘happy’ or moderately content with myself in any capacity. I have such low self esteem lol.

I know that I’m probably not ready to neck myself just yet, simply because I still care about certain things and certain people.

I’m either going to, erm, save up my money and potentially go travelling (which would be me hanging on) […]

2/25/2016 12 comments

My post

by Procel 2/24/2016

written by Procel

There was a time i was an active user on this sight. tho it was a long ago, i doubt anyone on this sight recognises my user name, i first came here back around 2010/2011. so im old school SP, when i joined the sight was different, we didnt even have things beside our names, nevermind being able to put pictures in beside our names. I came here looking for a suicide partner, someone to go out with. i spent every waking moment reading of ways to die, and i found many easy ways out. but this place gave me the one thing i didnt […]

2/24/2016 27 comments

My head is all over…

by Soulless-one 2/24/2016

written by Soulless-one

I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.

Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; […]

2/24/2016 4 comments

words and stuff….

by Alan Ominous 2/23/2016

written by Alan Ominous

So, to my new found friends, supporters, here’s a run down of news, thoughts, etc.

First off, I told the one family member I trust my plans for leaving in detail. I assured them it wasn’t a cry for help, a threat, or an attempt to guilt trip. That I was only sharing so it wouldn’t be a total shock. Overall it was received well. A wish I wouldn’t but complete understanding

I’m on the fence about my guitar amp. To replace or not. Kind of pointless if I kill myself. Then again, I could always add to the debt I leave behind. I’m excited to […]

2/23/2016 16 comments

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