Slowly moving, despite the fact that I’m holding myself back. Forward’s my direction, if I can keep from falling backwards. Words don’t mean a thing, and I am often contemplating, upon what I want. It’s enough to make me go insane!
I thought the title to my post was fuckn funny. Made me lol. I am so fuckn bored. But hey, at least I’m not in […]
I hate my life. Since childhood ive been neglected, hurt, lied to, and abandoned. I dont see a purpose to go to school and go to work everyday if we just die at the end. Ive tried to kill myself a numerous amount of time and everytime i look back i cry and say to myself “I was so close, i wish it would’ve taken me.” I just want to fucking die. I dont want to live anymore. Im tired all the time and no one knows what to do.
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
The guy I love has his life and a ton of friends. I can see how we’re not as close already. I have no one and he doesn’t understand. He honestly thinks he’s been rejected more than I have but I call bullshit because I’m rejected from every damn thing for my looks even for a place to stay! I’ve been told I don’t look human and shouldn’t be allowed outside. I literally am homeless because I’m too ugly for anyone to accept my money as payment for rent. I’m laying on the floor at work for fuck’s sake and it’s the first time I’ve […]
Its funny how ones mood can get better so fast for a moement. I went on a trip to a water park yesterday with my sister and a few friends. Found out from one of my friends that my recent ex tried to sabotage me publicly and his planned backfired on him badly…. Just because I spoke about the bullshit hes done to me behind my back on social media. I havent felt so good in a long time. XD
Now off to work for the next 6 days off the day after then traveling for 2 days after that.
I am over living. I feel empty. I see other people smiling and being happy and I feel nothing. I feel like ending my life and disappearing. The only things i feel is sadness and pain. My family is threatening me if I don’t stop cutting they are sending me back to the hospital. I know they are trying to help but I like being sad and I like cutting. I have only felt sadness and pain and I am afraid if I keep living I am going to kill who I am because just being alive hurts. I want to be me when I […]
I guess it all started when I was sixteen; funny thinking how long ago it seems even though I’m only 20 now, Or maybe before. I was never happy as a kid, dad never around, mom always at work, an abusive grandfather. It was when I was sixteen that I decided to do something about it. I ran away. I ran away from Arizona and took the greyhound to long beach. I don’t know what my actual plan was once I got there but regardless everything went wrong. I ended up having to get surgery to save my life and spent almost the whole month […]
I have been depressed since I was very young. I’ve had bad and better periods, but it has always been there. I have accepted for awhile now that I will commit suicide at some point. The only thing that has ever held me back is the few people in my life who I care about, who care about me. I feel like a ticking time bomb, and that the longer I wait the more it will hurt others when I do it. I try pushing them away, but they see what I’m doing and try to comfort me by saying they care. They don’t realize […]
I’m new here..
I need to spill how i feel: alone. I recently graduated from uni and moved back to LA with my parents. Ive realized that i have no friends. And the few people i believed were my friends dont seem to want to see me. 6 months ago my bf of 6 years broke up with me. Its been so hard to deal with. I guess its better since i was always dragging him down with my sadness. My eating disorder (bulimia) is worse than ever. Ive been this way 7 years. I have been trying to get treatment but the treatment centers are […]
My name is Kaitlyn and I am currently 17 years old.
I’ve never written about my suicide story before so bear with me.
The cutting and suicidal thoughts all started in 8th grade when I found out that my mom was an alcoholic. I blamed myself and thought that everything was my fault. Since she was going through pain, I deserved it too. I would cut myself just deep enough to leave a mark. (Those cuts later got to the point where I was scared that I would need stitches.) I went through all of 8th and 9th grade, keeping everything inside and not talking to anyone. […]
I am such trash. I just got out of a treatment center for the 7th time for my anorexia and you know what’s changed? Fuck nothing. In fact, I want to end my life now more than I have in then before I went. I am fine during the day because I have things to distract me but once I am alone, the creeping reality sets back in.
I am never going to get better. I took this treatment more seriously then I ever have in the past, was completely open and honest, and tried harder than ever before. But nothing has changed. I STILL want […]
Well looks like I’m back, you can never truly escape depression. Its just a horrible thing. It clings onto you and hides until it feels like striking sometimes it never goes away. I guess mine never went away. It’s amazing. I’m 15 now. Been a while since I’ve been on here. Ha.
Don’t know where my life is heading me. Don’t evn know how to live. Every thought, each feeling, every emotion is now jumbled up. M into deep darkness…. want to come out of it. Trying…. but not able to. Somebody plsss advice how can i overcome this suicidal feeling. long back i attempted it twice. Aft that gradually everything become settled. But again with his ignorance towards me & getting closer to another lady pulled me back to 7-8 years ago. Same problem is arising again. I cnt evn trust myself now. Hv loose all my hope n wish for death every moment. Each second […]
Why is that I feel so scared and so paranoid now that he’s cheated on me twice. I feel as if I were back in when I had a abusive relationship but different. Why is that I feel that way? Is there something wrong with me? I mean I could just trust him again. But I’m scared to do that. Like what if he does it again. What if my friends are right? What if I am just letting him get away with it? Help me please I dont know what to do or feel . I should let it go shouldn’t I ?
I doubt I posted often enough previously for anyone to have taken notice that I haven’t posted anything for some time now… The simple explanation is that I did not feel the need to. Every negative feeling for some reason subsided for a while, I was happy-ish. My boyfriend and I were getting along well, I finally managed to fit in amongst decent people.. Then I got admitted to hospital.
For physical reasons only was I admitted for three weeks, which took its toll I suppose. I was discharged a few days ago and honestly I’ve never felt worse. My boyfriend has decided once again to […]
“That must’ve been a doozy,” said Mrs. Bergeron to her son Melvin. “I think your ears are bleeding a little.”
Of course Melvin couldn’t hear her until the ringing subsided, but he could see that she was doing her best to show compassion.
“I’m ok, Ma. Gosh, that was a doozy.”
“That’s what I said,” she repeated. “Must’ve been a doozy.”
“What must’ve been?”
“I can’t remember,” she answered, shrugging as she had done so many times before. Being precisely at the National average level of intelligence, she didn’t need to wear a Brain Handicapper like her slightly-above-average-intelligence sons. So she could only guess what the loud disruptions sounded like–that […]
This is my first time doing this and thanks to those who read it. I dont really share my feelings but i thought i should give it a try. I don’t know why someone at age 20 feels the way that I do. Ever since my dad passed away when i was 11 I have felt empty. I was my bestfriend and my role model. He suffered from drug abuse and was clean for a year, then went to a hotel off the parkway, overdosed, and killed himself. Every time I think about it I blame myself(& I know many people say that there is […]
I get unnecessarily blamed for everything by my EX best friend for the last year. She’s a fucked up little girl who walks all over people and uses them, then twists it on you making you feel like you’re at fault and that you’re a piece of shit. For real, this time, I don’t think we’ll talk again. This time she’s gone too far, showing up at my house and laying her hands on me trying to fight me. All because her friend got in a fight with her ex over some stupid shit and was upset, therefore I’m a bad friend for hanging out […]
Today I woke up and felt like dying. This isn’t unusual anymore. It took me a while before I talked myself into pulling back the duvet and putting on a shirt. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I smile and try to laugh, but laughing seems like a pathetic attempt at breathing lately. I’ve felt so alone, even in a room full of people. I hardly see the point of carrying on anymore. What’s the point of trying if I’m going to die anyway? I like to think of myself like a glass vase that someone dropped. You can pick the broken glass up and glue it back […]
I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember – A Fake! Walking around…all smiles, but deep down I want to scream.I know, I know…gotta see the glass as half full and all. But then I ask why? I haven’t been suicidal but I’m also not “living the life”. I can try to pick myself up but at the back of my head I ask why. Its tiring. It seems I prefer to be a zombie. I dont have to talk that way. I don’t have to put up with pretenses. People pretending to care. People commenting on trivial shit because […]
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