About why I feel this way. Why sometimes I am so miserable. Why the nights seem so endless.. and days are torture.. you see, I have nothing wrong with my life. I was never raped or abused. I’ve been to so many fascinating places. Nothing is wrong, and I feel like because of this I have no place to whine. Maybe I’m just lonely. I’ve been stuck in my head for years.. I don’t know how to del with people anymore. I don’t think I want to.. I don’t connect with anyone. My best friend I only know from online. Try to live. […]
yeah im pretty sure, he got what he wanted back, now i dont think he needs me anymore. im stuck in hell alone i guess.
Alright so I don’t really know how to do this, but whatever.I’m just going to share my story. Last year I got into alcohol and drugs. I was drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, and huffing. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wasn’t me. Hanging out with the wrong people. One day at midnight, well, September 7th. It was officially the first day of school and I was dreading it. So, me and my friend took 8 triple c’s or cold cough pills. I knew nothing about it other than it would make me feel good. And I’ve always had problems with depression […]
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, it’s the perfect time. You’re ready. If you don’t do it, you’re gonna look […]
I hate it when every time i feel like i’m getting somewhere with maintaining and re-establishing my 8 year friendship with my best friend she finds a new way to dimish all hope of us still being friends when we leave school and i don’t have alot of time because year 11 finishes in 10-11 weeks and my friend will stop going to school to go to tafe and it’s frustrating because it feels as though i’m the only one fighting for our relationship, because i’m the one to ask her do you want to see a movie? go shopping? or have a sleepover? and every single time […]
I made a fool of myself last night again. Well, maybe not. Anyway, my best friend was in town and the past 4 or 5 times hes been here I haven’t been able to hang out with him. I was always pretty upset about it, anyway. I finally seen him and went to a little party with him and got reaaaaaally drunk. Tequila. Fucked me right up. And I thought I could handle it this time. Iv’e been truly happy lately. But not last night. I went outside to have a smoke and found a spot where I was alone and my friend followed. I […]
I know a lot of people have issues against drugs, and especially illegal ones at that. However, the simple fact is without drugs we would be less of a productive society, but it depends on the drug of course; some drugs make our society worse. Â We know what they are, but I think we all can agree that some drugs have important application. Â If you’ve ever been suicidal (who hasn’t?), we know that something causes this reaction in our mind to give up. Â It’s due to ourselves unequipped to deal with the pain or failing to find the answers that got us to this point. […]
I’m just so bloody fed up! I’ve quit drinking, smoking weed and smoking cigarettes, these used to take me away for a bit from the heavy depression i’m now feeling all over. Today I got rid of my best friend once and for all because they were just bad for me and made me feel like shit most of the time.
Although I’ve done this, I now have no one as I don’t trust anyone and find it very hard to get close to anyone.
A friend of my family committed suicide a few months back and the damage they caused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I can’t help thinking how lucky […]
Ive tried to tell myself that it was just a phase, for the fact that it is common for a teenager of the female gender to develop feelings, or in my case, fall in love, with their male best friend. And since I run every feeling and thought underneath a “Logic” magnifying glass, I’ve been able to coax myself into believing that when I fell in love with my best friend at the age of 15 it was because of the fact that we had known each other for so long before we were teens, that the reason that he was my first kiss is […]
i guess ive gotten so good at ling about being ok bc not even my best friend can tell that my “Im fine” or “Im ok nothings wrong” or the complete opposite i feel more alone then ever before ….
Im so tired. Of everything. Im 16, divorced parents since I was young. Two half sisters. One with a disease which will end her life one day. There’s constant fighting about it. That’s all I ever hear anymore. To make it even better, my little sister talks about how she wants to hurt herself. She got that idea from me, because I’ve gotten caught cutting. Im not good at anything, there’s something wrong with every part of my body. I laugh with my best friend but if we aren’t together im worthless. I disgust myself. And there’s nothing I can do. I want to end […]
My plan for a long time has been pills and a letter left behind for my family. I’ve never had any specific date and I’ve never known what to take or the dosage or anything like that. I have never gone into specifics with the plan. I don’t know, maybe that’s a sign?
Thing is, every time I come close to figuring out the specifics, something comes up and gets in the way of the plan for a while. Things like my best friend needing me and me knowing that I need to be there for her because she needs a proper family even if […]
what do you do when you can’t take it anymore. You have people willing to help but because they probably tired of hearing it. And what can they do to help? Its not a quick fix. What do I do, when I have a best friend. And shes not a normal best friend, shes like a sister, but more. Someone I love more than anything in the world. Someone Im there for all the time and the only reason im here right now is because I love her to much to let her go. Selfish in a way I guess. But even tho she means […]
I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still […]
8 fucking years and we got put together again wow im amazed how after that long we still act like best friends and now were back to being over 2000 miles apart but this time were doing it right were not going to go into 8+ years of silence i could see it in your eyes how happy you were to see me and sad i couldnt stay longer i even felt it as u held me close in front of our families. how everytime u let me out of your arms you looked so hurt. i know we get to do this right now […]
My best friend told me he didn’t want to speak to me anymore and that we should just move on, he’s ignoring me now. He was one of the reasons why I no longer self-harmed and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Great
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
On Monday my primary school best friend (still see her and am fine with her) invited me to a thing with about 10 of her high school friends (including one I went out with and am now a bit intimidated by). I was with my friend today and we were in the shops and passed one of her friends. SO AWKWARD. I was only there for 3 minutes… I’ll be there for 6 hours. Mmmm… :/ I think i might just not go and say I’m sick. She’ll probably know I’m lying. And I’m sorry… you don’t know me… Not my story… I’ve done some […]
I had not felt like this in so long. i haven’t been eating or sleeping i try to make myself happy but its not working. I cant find a job. I feel like I have lost all my friends. I fell in love with my best friend but she doesn’t know it. Currently we are in an argument and she decided to stop talking to me. Consequently she’s been spending more time with her friend who likes her. She said I hurt her with our argument and is not sure if she wants to see me again. I feel like everyone I’ve ever fallen in […]
Hi. I’m marissa and I’m a drug addict and an achoolic and “suicidal”
I havent always been like this. It started in 6th grade. I had no friends cause my best friend/ only left me for another person. I was all alone. Then 7th grade rolled around and I made a couple new friends and started to drink my worries away. I would rarely talk in school to anyone. When I got home I would alway go home and cry. I cut every night. When 8th grade came I was majorly popular. But it wasn’t my true self that was popular, it was my fake. My […]