Up until recently I’ve been a pretty normal person, I don’t think anyone would suspect that I’ve been having frequent thoughts of suicide. I try my best to hide it and to act happy around people, but every now and then I just can’t. I like to be alone more often than not and when I am with people it’s hard to enjoy myself. I find myself faking a smile or laughing just so I’m not the only one not laughing. It’s as if I don’t have feelings anymore, I can’t feel any emotion, I just feel depressed, which I guess could be considered an […]
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Best Friend
This is my story and i hope it gives all of you out there some hope.
I was always a good girl. I had friends not many but yea. First everything was good. I wasn’t the thinnest but I was happy with who I am. But when I came to 5th grade, all my friends were away. All of them were on another school. I thought it couldn’t be that hard to make new friends but it was. No one in my new class liked me. They called me names like fattie. Everyday I got home I went in my room and cried. I just cried, […]
I can’t remember when I haven’t felt like I am  just waking up because I have to. If it was physically possible just to continue to sleep – I would. I hate facing the day. I drive home hurt and scared and angry every day. I fail as a wife, I fail at being what I feel I should at my job…I am a burden of misery to my best friend whom I ***** to every day. She moves to Germany soon and I know our friendship will fade away. Every day is the same. Most nights during the week I just cry myself to sleep.
People keep […]
I wish I was dead been trying to recover but today sucks……..my best friend fake suicide I don’t get how someone is coldhearted and fake suicide and then say im a brat because I don’t want to be with him ……I am in a long distance and I am happy with him we are recovering together
Today I was happy.
I went to the pool today with my assistant manager/close friend (I helped her recover after a very brutal divorce with her crack-addict lousy excuse for a husband.) Now normally when I have any cuts or scars on my legs, I tend to hide them. But today I said, “Fuck it! I’ll show them off and let them get some sun. Maybe they’ll fade out a little like the older ones.” I had an incident a few days ago that I’m none too proud of, but I decided to go nonetheless. When we got to the pool and the sun was […]
I got to me great aunt’s house yesterday, the same time that a guy who looked like he was in college was there. Apparently, he was Katelynn’s boss and best friend. He was giving Katelynn’s violin to my aunt, obviously, I was confused since Katelynn didn’t play violin. At least I didn’t think she did. She played violin. She was in 4 recitals. She had a job. And I never had any idea. I didn’t know that every time she came home late was because she’d been working part-time to buy a violin. I didn’t know she was actually a junk artist, and I don’t […]
So before I start talking, I guess I’ll say a small bit about my self. I’m 15, a freshman in high school, going toward sophomore after the summer goes by like always. I’ll keep my name anon. though.
But anyways, I’ve been depressed. As a child I had a abusive father, my mother could never do anything about him hitting me or my siblings. He used to come home drunk, pretty much rape my mother and rampage when thing didn’t go his way. My brother used to touch me as a child, him being gay. I’ve never told my mother, I just forgotten about it and […]
My name is Richelle. I am 13 years old, living in Sydney, Australia. This is my first post. The start of my depression began, in my opinion, around the age of 8. I had no friends, so I talked to the school counselor, Wendy, whenever I could. We played Go Fish or Snap and talked all lunch. She was my best friend, and I thought she was so beautiful. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
The day before my 9th birthday was my last day with her. She said even tho the next day was her day off, she’d come anyway so […]
Have you ever made a promise you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep ?
Well, I have. A few years ago, I was in a really bad place. As I had ended up in a hospital bed once again, my best friend came to see me. She was crying, and she bugged me until I promised her to take care of myself. To stay alive.
The thing is, it was four years ago, but I’m not any happier than I was back then. I’m in the exact same place, but this time, I can’t let go, I can’t do anything to make the pain stop. […]
I’m really tired of fighting. Â I’ve been doing it so long – fighting physical issues, fighting mental issues – and I’m just so tired. Â I’ve tried my best, but things just keep getting worse, and I can’t see any way out of where I am. Â Everything is darkness, and the last of the light is disappearing.
I’m so afraid and so desperate that I keep reaching out to my best friend, but it all keeps going wrong. Â Somehow I end up being angry with him. Â I don’t mean to be, I just can’t seem to help it. Â Each time it happens he pulls a little […]
I miss him so much. I want my best friend back. I want to hug him and tell him just how much he means to me. I just want to see him again. I want so badly to see his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.
But I can’t.
He’s dead.
He would be ashamed of me. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, and my bitter attitude. Not much to be proud of.
There’s a part of me, though that thinks that he would be proud of me. I’ve been to hell and back, with both physical and emotional damages, but I’m still breathing. I can walk into a room and act […]
The Universe told me not to go to the park that day.
As I pulled into your driveway, my phone buzzed.
You were calling me. Why?
“Scide is going to kill me. Scide is going to kill me.”
Your voice is gurgled and muffled by your tears.
I burst in and your ‘girlfriend’ isn’t there.
You’ve locked yourself in your room.
Open the door. She knows about everything and it’s all my fault and now she’s gone. Open the door, Scide. I deserve to be punished. Open the fucking door. Go away. If you hurt yourself, I’ll go away, too.
You become silent, this entity […]
I am a person in my mid 20’s, and I suck. My dad went on a twenty min. rant on how I suck this morning, I’m broke and have no future, the girl I’m obsessed with is with another dude, and most of all I’m an embarrasement freak of a person on a objective level. No one loves me or will, I don’t believe in god (for logical, not emotional reasons). Hell I’ve had a relative that laughed at me for crying because my childhood dog died. No one has ever loved me, not family, not people in a relationship with me, […]
Hi. I may seem like the average teenage girl, but I’m not. I may seem like the popular girl with a perfect life, but here’s what I really feel like. I’m a horrible person. In 9th grade, I had a best friend named Carly. She was funny, talented, and pretty. Then I started spacing myself from her and I hung out with the popular crew. Biggest. Mistake. Ever. They started bullying Carly. I didn’t do anything- I just stood there and watched it happen. They would harass Carly on websites such as Facebook, twitter, etc. Then, on December 19, she got sick of it
When I think back to when I was a kid, I can’t remember being happy.. And I don’t know why. And then I thought..
I’ve always been unhappy.
My family has many issues that now I know effected me; screaming and yelling, name calling, blaming, frustration.
I remember it all.
I remember getting these overwhelming feelings like I was trapped in a small bubble and couldn’t get out, I know now that the feeling I felt was probally depression..
I’ve been depressed since I could remember..
And I really don’t remember a lot because that’s how my body copes..
I want to talk to someone but […]
I am speaking directly to people that suffer from severe depression and social anxiety. Â To people that know that they have been diagnosed with severe depression or social anxiety; please know that there are people out there just like you. Â Just like me. Â For five years I have been suffering from severe depression. Â I was diagnosed when I was 15 years old. Â Everyday is a struggle for me whether it is visible to the people around me or not. Â I don’t have anyone left to turn to. Â All of the people that are in my close circle of friends and family just ignore my call. […]
This is the first time I post something on here but I feel like I’m finally ready to do something like this. For this first post I think I’m just gonna tell my story, I need to get it off my chest.
On the 30 of September 17 years ago my brother was born. And 2 years later on his birthday, I was born. We always shared our birthday and it was something really special. Me and my brother were always close, like few brothers and sisters are. Besides being my brother, he was also my best friend.
But it all ended on the 25 […]
I have 2 kids, an intensely stressful career, just got married 2 weeks ago to my best friend. My soulmate… yet I still yearn for an ending. It seems so much more pleasant than dealing with the bs here. I drink to medicate. Then get angry and depressed when drunk. I wake up everyday hating the fact that I have to drag through another day. I want help but Im afraid I will lose my kids, marriage, job. I dont know what to do. Im suffering… have been for years. Horrible abuse as a child, bad relatiomships, past substance abuse. I really need help for […]
ive singlehandedly fucked up my whole life. i was in love with my best friend. we’ve been best friends for years and ive loved him the whole time and then i fucked the whole thing up. because he was being distant and i freaked and stopped talking to him for weeks and then the first time he even texted me all he wanted to say was that he “liked” someone. this gorgeous fucking perfect girl that everyone is in love with and that he will never get. and now everything is messed up and i ruined our friendship and we are both going to the […]
I wish I could get this feeling away from me but suicide pops into my head all day. I’m 21 years old and feel like I have already lived enough. I’m drained. I sit here now typing this in my bed n don’t even have the energy to pick my head up off the pillow. And I did nothing today. Like I do everyday. But suicide seems so nice right now. Like all this stress and sadness gone in a minute. Â But what’s so hard about it is I don’t want to die. When I think about it I just think of my mom n […]