Hi. Never done this before but my best guy friend has been going through issues since he was younger…he’s 24 now and can not deal any longer…I’ve been doing my best to talk to him, show him people still care even if it’s only me but it’s not talking him down any longer, he’s tired and ready to go. I am not completely sure what to do or how to go about this. I know he’s hurting but it has to be a better way than this. He has siblings, people who love him and are actively there but it’s not enough…confused friend at the […]
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better
The future is bleak for me. If ever I’m still hanging to this thin thread of existence I won’t be doing it for me. But then again, what’s my worth that I feel the need to stay for other people? All I bring is pain and hurt for other people. I am just a worthless peace of garbage, a malfunctioning half corpse that is better off dead.
So just had a huge blow out with my family. My mom fired me from work and I don’t know what to do. I always feel so alone when I’m home. Like I feel kinda invisible. They don’t need me. They have my cousins. They probably wouldn’t even notice if I died. I’m just a bother. A fuck up. They would be better off with out me. Maybe I should end it all. It would make everyone happier. I mean hell all I am is a disappointment.
Growing up in a traditional Asian household, life was very different from what I had read in American novels. With a strict Taiwanese father who graduated from Harvard, was the minister for Sino-America relations, and a Marine for 15 years, expectations were always set high. And my mother on the other hand, looked at me as no more than a show pony that she could steal accomplishments from. From an early age, achievement was measured in medals, and love in trophies. Whether or not I would get beaten depended on how fast my times in the latest swim meets were, how I placed in the latest […]
I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I don’t know if I will ever be consistently happy. I’m changing into somebody I don’t like. There’s not much emotion anymore. I’ve become much more logical, pragmatic. I still suck at doing work, so it hasn’t made me any better at school, but I’m just not emotional about things anymore. I’ve become terse with my parents and girlfriend, less caring and more calculating. I’m losing something, me, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to comfort anyone, or the right things to say. I can’t really empathize. Without a passion, what my purpose? […]
I’ve been suffering for a long time now. I spend 80% of the time I’m not at work locked away wishing the days would end and that I would never wake up.
I have a good life. Better than most probably. If I was to write a list of pros and cons the pros column would be at least five times longer.
BUT. It doesn’t seem to matter. Every stress and every pressure I feel so extremely. I struggle to shower and get out of bed of my days off, spending at least two days a week in my room. I cry when a stranger […]
Hello everyone. I have been coming to this site on an off for several years now, anytime I was thinking about suicide. Reading the other stories helped me to feel that I was not alone. That I wasn’t the only lonely person in this world that didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. That I wasn’t the only self-loathing person that hated their existence and felt the need to apologize to everyone about it. I only ever indulged in reading though, never made an account or posted. It’s a tad narcissistic to just talk about oneself, so I never wanted to bother anybody with myself.
I have […]
Just saying I’m still here. I went to see the guy I like and it was different. Or rather, I tried to hide my feelings and I can’t do that forever. I learned that he is insanely picky and judgemental of girls and decides in less than a nanosecond who’s good enough for him and who isn’t, with most getting the no pass. But I’m still insanely attracted to him because he’s my type. I still feel like I’m better off dead, since I’ll never have love and there’s no point in living without someone to give my everything to.
No, I’m not okay
If you think I am,
Then I beat you at the game –
Because you know I’m not..
So which one of us is better at pretending?
Im so sorry.
To Mom: Im sorry you’ll never see me become the happy man with family that you always wanted me to be. I’m sorry i was always miserable. Im sorry I never talked to you. Im sorry for being so difficult and putting you through so much.
To my Sister: We always got along rather well. But i could never explain to you whats going on in my mind. I know this will only hurt you and mom more, but I couldn’t take hurting anymore. Im sorry i’ll never be a uncle for your daughter.
To Her: Im so sorry. I know this is the last […]
We deserve better!
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to feel loved.
I deserve to have a job i love, & that can support me.
I deserve to be treated as i treat others.
I deserve to have the life i want.
Why is this world so cruel & awful that people can not even be happy anymore. Everything is too expensive, the meaning of true love is gone. You can not rely or trust anybody, if you do, chances are you just get hurt worse than before.
All i wanted was to be happy. To make a difference in this world, to make a difference with someone i love.
Life is […]
sooo…, I guess I’m saying my story now. Mainly I’m saying it because a lot of people that share their stories feel better about themselves but really I don’t think I will. I just felt like I should so here it starts. So I’m in year 8, I go to a pretty crap school and to add to that coming home isn’t that fun either. I first started my school last year and I was soo weird in person and so very unpopular but when I got home I’d be this little lonely sad kid. Things got better, I still got bad mood swings but […]
Im a 20 year old male and this is my story, i dont really feel like commiting suicide but i just want to share this story. I have never cutted or harmed myself in any way possible.
Ive been a normal kid before someone told me i got a tad fatter in a matter of weeks (im still 2mteters talls and i weigh 75kg..). Since that day my life went downhill really fast, i started to look away from people and the real life because i fellt like i wasnt good enough in others peoples eyes. Since that day i just felt like anything i did […]
I had this friend who knew from the start that I was having suicidal thoughts, and now that I think about it he didn’t do anything, didn’t tell a teacher or parent. We were dating and then he found out that I was having suicidal thoughts and he broke up with me, he said when I got better we would go out again, so I lied and said I got better, nothing happend. I was talking to him today and told him that I told my parents I wanted to kill myself and he basically called me selfish and said there are people out there […]
i want to make a list for just in case…want to drop it here. i’m gonna pick little bit underrated movies, and some of popular ones.
1) Gattaca (1997) story about a genetically inferior man
2) Chung Hing sam lam (1994) life of two melancholic cops
3) Stand by me (1986) best coming of age movie, different and sweet
4) Barry lyndon (1975) you can find anything in this movie; suffer, pain, joy, all-life movie directed by kubrick. barry hold on everything to the end.
5) c.r.a.z.y (2005) best family drama, period
6) zero kelvin (1995) its the most poetic film i have ever seen. ”A […]
Thought I’d take the effort to upload it to youtube, this song is just stunningly beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwzTEq9CUGQ
Lyrics:
Call me crazy but maybe this seems a little movie like
This whole saying goodbye
This whole frozen in time thing
“Well it’s better to have loved..” I keep telling myself
Well anything is better than this
There comes a time when you realise
That it’s better to let go of a dove than watch it become the vulture
We pray that this won’t eat us up
To every chapter written be thankful it was a part of the book at all
There’s a lot of blood in the ink
There’s […]
Hi,
so so this is the first time ever posting on a site (any site actually) but I’ve found that venting about thing regardless if people respond or not is beneficial and seeing a therapist once a week is clearly not cutting it anymore.
Okay let’s see now, I am 23 first generation American, middle child, genetic history of major clinical depression with multiple family members taking their own lives.
On the surface, I have a pleasant life. I haven’t had to worry about finances as much as most people have. Ran track in HS and was a state champion. Played collegiate rugby and excelled. However since I was […]
To make your life better, ditch the dead weight.
People who lied to me, bye bye now. Those who left me when I needed them, don’t come back. I don’t have the time nor the energy to deal with people who do that to me. You have no place in my life, nor will you have my kindness.
i havent been commenting much lately. im sorry for that. you guys mean the world to me. but how can i help anyone else if i cant help myself? if i make it through the night, ill be back tomorrow, but as it stands right now, i just dont know. i dont fucking know. i do know that im terrified of whats next. im scared of an afterlife. but damn.. anything is better than this
I recently have been feeling more screwed up than usual. I am honestly amazed that I haven’t been asked to leave my house. I am making my family’s life miserable, but they still attempt to love me. I wish that I could be a better person. We all know that it’s my fault that my family’s a mess at this point. I literally am a waste of space.
There are only a couple things keeping me on this earth:
1. My friend and her mom. They are the nicest people I have ever met, and they are […]