I’ve finally given up. No joke. I’m fine with dying everything will be better that way. So yeah, bye.
Tag:
better
“Why do you cut?”
Because I can’t take the pain inside me. Physical torment is better than emotional suffering or mental burdens.
“Why do you cut?”
Because I can focus on something other than my broken spirit.
“Why do you cut?”
Because when I see myself bleed, and feel the warm blood, I know that the cold I feel is not real.
“Why do you cut?”
Because it hurts so much but I don’t want to hurt them back.
“Why do you cut?”
Because it makes me feel better.
Why do I cut, you ask.
Because this is the only way to continue this farce of living.
I’ve stopped cutting for about 4-5 months, but I yearn to do it again. I want to feel the blade pushed into my skin. I have extremely bad problems with talking to my family. I can’t do that. I see a therapist only once every other week. I thought that I was getting better, that I was finally recovering but, I’m not ok. I’m not recovered. I need some help.
Everybody will be better off without me. I’m a burden to society in general it’s actually quite embarrassing.
I have nothing to offer the world. My grandmother used to tell me everybody has a purpose in life–maybe mine was simply to die.
Just a few more nights…until then I’m getting dressed up nice for the last time right now. I’m going to see my grandfather. I feel like it doesn’t make a difference if I go to family events or not anymore. Nobody actually cares if I’m there or not. But I’m sucking it up and truthfully I’d like to my grandfather and his dog one last […]
I’ve never felt like I fit in – lost in a crowded room..
At school I was painfully shy – I wear a mask so no one knows the real me.
But the strangest feeling I’ve had since I can remember is that I feel like I just don’t belong here. Like maybe I was born in the wrong century or country.. I can’t explain it any better than that, but I feel so lost and like I don’t want to be here anymore – Its like I remember something, or someone and I miss them and desperately want to be with them again – […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Hey…
Anyone heard from the user distant road in the last while? Things were going better for him last we spoke. But my last email from him is from Feb 13. I know of two others who have lost contact with him too. His email no longer seems to be working either. If anyone has heard from him or knows what happened I would appreciate the closure. Thanks.
Been kinda upset recently. I have a friend who actually asked me on a date about 6 months ago, but never been in a relationship before I declined because I was scared and just don’t date people. I’ve kinda realized how good of a person he is and that I definitely do have a ‘crush’ on him, though I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship considering how my last one ended. He’s literally a guy version of me but with better qualities personality-wise. But now he’s completely uninterested and moved onto better people, I guess. Like he definitely had a thing for my […]
Hi, I’m new to this…..and I’m crying right now. I started getting depressed in the 9th grade and that was when my doctor prescribed me anti-depressants. And that was when I wanted to die so I took 5 of those pills but nothing happened. Through time I got better and better until a couple of months ago I started having suicide thoughts and actually cut myself. I’m a religious person and so after that I prayed and promised I would never try it again. I told my mom I was having suicide thoughts and she comforted me and told me it was okay […]
So I got arrested yesterday for heroin possession and trespassing, I have an abscessed tooth causing untold amounts of pain, I’m close to losing my job, and might have to go to prison in 12 days. Suicide has never seemed like a better option.
Felling much better. happier. healthier. have my ups and down, but its all good. Came out to 3 of my friends so that was exciting and fun. love there reactions.<3 now to come out to rest of my friend. wish me luck
I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that i’m ready to leave. The only thing that keeps me here is the responsibilities I feel I owe my family. I’m 19 years old, and the only boy in my family. 2 sisters and my single mother. So you can imagine the huge amount of pressure I’m under to succeed. We have always been broke. Growing up my mother had many boyfriends come and go, many of them physically abusive toward her and me. (never my sisters though). As a child growing up I had Enormous potential, I’m extremely intelligent, there’s no denying as I have […]
Things are just getting worse and worse, never better.
I’m sick of it and i am done.
So fucking done.
But it’s the only place I can say what’s really on my mind.
I’ve lost so much.. more like thrown my life away.
Giving myself fake reasons to keep going. Faking every step forward, but what I’ve really been doing is setting myself up to end my life. Subconsciously tying loose ends so that I may relieve myself from this pain. So that there’s nothing left to hold on to.
I use to come here at a time when I should have been happy..but the fact is that I came here cause I’m most certainly not happy. Things have only gotten worse, and now I try […]
I kissed her and I don’t regret doing it for a Goddamn second. I love her and if I get my ass kicked or anything like that for it I’ll do it a thousand times again. She kissed back and it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to me since smileemptysoul. I understand she doesn’t love me. If her boyfriend ever sees this I’ll have my ass kicked. I won’t deny that. I feel better now than I have in a long time. More free, more happy, more alive, than I have in months. She’s taken, and she says she may not have me, but […]
The moon and I have a unique relationship. I’m a cancer and cancers are called “moon babies”. I often stare at the moonlight. It’s fascinating to me. My dream life would be sitting on the moon, in the pouring rain, in quietness with my dog. I daydream about life being that simple.
I thought by coming across a site like this would enable me to actually be able to rant about something, anything, so that my mind would be clear for a moment. But sitting here, typing this out, I’m struggling with how to put into words something which might catch someone’s attention who may be going through something similar. Someone I can relate to. The majority of people on here I suppose will all have similar background stories or specific tragedies which crossover with someone else’s, and so a relationship forms as these crossover people discover each other and help. My issue is; despite knowing the […]
I cared about her so much and she threw it away. It was my fault but goddammit that doesn’t make it hurt less. I’m such an ass. I made her do things she didn’t want to and I ruined it. I… I’m a selfish prick… I’m going to cry and wish I could die tonight, but I won’t. I’m better than that. But this won’t stop hurting. not for a long time. This burns. Hollywood Undead. Black Dahlia. Most of it applies, but not all. Fuck. I care so much about her. I just want to make her happy. I thought I’d be okay being […]
Anyone else who is negatively affected by the summer break? Like me because I’m all alone most of the time? School as much as anyone can hate it was a place to socialize for me and with it gone I feel like I’m hated and realize that all of the people I talked to in school aren’t real friends, they’re just people that I talked to and joked around with. There’s a lot worse than that but I hate it. I stay up at night (like I am right now) because I just can’t get the voices inside of me to shut up. I just […]
He was feeling sad today cause of a family problem, I tried my best to make him feel better, I tried to let him know that I was feeling worried about my life too, college and stuff. And I was just starting to tell him, when he started to talk about his problem and I completely forgot about myself, so I can focused on him and try to make him feel better and not sad. And tried and tried my best, and he never let me in, he tells me “I love you” and I take it, but it feels like a lie, why. He […]