I have had bipolar or was diagnosed at 14 years old, i have tried many times to end my life. It has caused me to be hopitalized on more than one occasion. But not for the mental health issues but for the physical side affects. My bipolar is not controlled by meds and i do not see a phycitrist i go to my family doctor but they seem to think my personality makes me have bipolar? i did not think this was possible?. My family are very disspondent now and it is almost like her she gose again. But i am now 26 and i […]
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Bipolar
he came back last night. it was him trying to break in. i yelled out, babe? is that you? he said yes in a very tired tone. i opened. i can’t describe the feeling i had when i saw him standing there. he said he was there knocking our secret knock for a while. that explained the sounds i was hearing but was too scared to check it out. he was physically and emotionally drained. so was i. he held me and i just cried. i cried because i realized how weak i am without him. he cried too. he said he is scared to […]
i did it. i pushed the last person that cared enough away. he promised me with his life that he wouldn’t give up on me. im sitting in our apartment with all of our things. everything reminds me of him. i feel stupid. i won’t go to bed until he comes back. im hoping to hear the buzzer, but its been hours and he hasnt come back. i wonder where he is at. i hate myself so much. i wish he would understand that im bipolar and that i didnt mean all that i said. we’ve been together for 4 years now. married 1. he […]
Today i realized just how fast my emotions have been changing lately, one moment i feel hopeless, the other angry, sad and the other I’m just emotionally numb. it’s like my emotions decided to take some roller coster, what so now I don’t just have depression but I’m bipolar too? I definately want to get myself help though. Of course that’s not as easy as it may seem, i don’t have any money and I’m 14 so there’s no way i can get a therapist who could talk to my parents for me without them finding out about it first, talking to anybody in my […]
i don’t know where to start. i’m 22 and to keep it perfectly honest i’m a beautiful, intelligent, upper class, white female. nobody thinks i have any problems… and if i do, they’re miniscule. it’s a lie. i’m living a lie. every cry for help that i make isn’t taken seriously because people can’t seem to fathom that someone who is so blessed could be so absolutely and incessantly depressed. i have been through every anti-depressant/bipolar medication, talked to countless psychiatrists/therapists/psychologists for the last 7 years… you name it, i’ve probably done it in hopes of pulling myself out of this never-ending rabbit hole that […]
Depression slowly crept up on me 2.5 years ago. Â I had a feeling of being unwanted. Â I felt like my friends were ignoring me, and it seemed like no one cared about me. Â The depression kept getting worse and worse everyday. Â I am the type of person that keeps my emotions to myself, so I’d try to put on a happy face whenever I was around people. Â Recently, I noticed that I’m not depressed 100% of the time. Â I looked up why that might be, and my symptoms matched the bipolar disorder symptoms. Â I finally decided I needed help, so I scheduled an appointment with […]
I’ve been through a ton of things lately, right now I’m really depressed and I just wanna throw it out there since no one else will listen, I fucking hate where I’m at and I want to go back home I’m on the east side of the country and I belong on the west. Not gang related, just two different sides of the World and I belong on one, not in between, not on the East, but on the West. I messed up, I did drugs, I disrespected myself I disrespected the people I lived with when I lived in the West. I became manic […]
I was diagnosed with bipolar depression my sophomore year of high school but I’ve been depressed since elementary school. I hid it well for years before anyone knew.The first time I cut was in fifth grade. I did it once until middle school, that’s when it started becoming more common. It was my little secret. Eventually my parents found out, I was hospitalized and that’s when the cycle continued. I was an inpatient twice and I was an outpatient once. I have moods so at times I seem perfectly fine and then something triggers it and it all comes back to me. Everything that seemed […]
I apologize in advance: this is going to be very unorganized.
I tried to kill myself a little over a year ago, but I was taken to the hospital. I dropped out of college. Around the beginning of the school year, I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I withdrew from school for a few months. The details are more complicated than that, but that’s not important right now. I got a job this past August, which I lost in January. Since then I’ve been moping around my parents’ house, pretending to look for a job or be interested in going back to school. Going […]
Interesting video. Thanks for being honest and clear in this one. I understand what your saying when you say you have lost your power.
I think you believe power tis what ever you held dear, It was the reason you went to work, the reason you brush your teeth, the reason you lived for.
Now what every that power was has been either taken away or you lost it some how. Either way you believe it is gone. And the only person who can tell you what to believe is power is you. We all hold different things in our hearts. It because of that i dont […]
I just came across this website a couple days ago. I have gone through reading everyone’s writings from the bad to the good. I have been suicidal for over 14 years. I have gone through the depression of high school getting close to friends only to in my own way pushing them away to where I was alone. I been through everything I read here. But I do not have bad family background. I am bipolar and suicidal thoughts are part of my life. As I have gotten older I wish I could say things get easier but for me they have in a way. You learn […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]
The worst thing you can do is tell MY family about my thoughts and suicide plans!!!! Now you have left me no choice, so sad but so true. Simple minded people will never understand depression or bipolar. LEAVE ME ALONE, DONT BRING PEOPLE OVER TO SEE ME!!!! So Im off to the good old garage lol. God forgive me 🙁
I was cleaning out mygarage today and I found my gneuss, I found my bottles of vodka, older antifreeze that is possible to digest, and I can still smell exhaust in there… I parked my gmc van in the garage closed the door of course and fired it up… This was the windiest night I could ever remember… I was drunk of course, and I fired up an extendo blunt of kush (2 blunts put together)… This van had a blown manifold intake gasket, so it had alot of thick white exhaust… I started to get lightheaded, and felt a CRAZY headache coming on, I […]
I learned this recently. The story is very confusing. Are you ready?
This is who I thought I was: a severely schizophrenic German boy, who was severely abused as a child, alongside his twin sister. He has a boyfriend, who also has a twin. He is in Foster care.
Who I really am: a Canadian girl, less severely abused, with no twin, no boyfriend, and no Foster care.
What happened: I have multiple personalities. I suppose I’m transgender, because all the personalities are male. I am also schizophrenic, though not as badly as previously thought. The original personality, the female birthed 18 years ago next week, is gone. […]
I was reading on here a couple of weeks ago, and I saw something that someone said and it really stuck with me. They said “I’m not a person who wants to be alive. Im just a person who’s too afraid to die.” That pretty much sums me up. I don’t get a kick out of living. I don’t go to bed at night thinking of all the wonderful things I get to do tomorrow and aren’t I just so darn lucky that I get to just be alive?! No. I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. But I always do. I would […]
My story isn’t this huge story that will make everyone teary-eyed ,a and have people wanting to feel sorry for me everywhere . No , im just a 14 year old girl w/ a fucked up life . But my story is real , and it means something to me that someone just read it and actually hear what i’ve been through . I need more faith in myself , i talk back to my parents too much , i want to cry right now , i pretend everything’s okay when it’s really not , i just can’t seem to understand math ,i am a […]
I am constantly changing, going to and throw to and throw from a bad place and maybe an
overly good good, does that sound like bipolar to you? I am sick of having nobody understand me and not being a part of something, my friends dont really know me, well one of them kinda does but mostly ive just been trapped inside with my personality unable to show, Its Like ive been a big balloon full of something expanding and expanding about to explode. Ive talked about good and fighting for the good but I do fall down and this is one of those moments! […]
Hello children, I just wanted to shed some light on one of the worst times of my life, I was not always as well adjusted and happy as i am now, i was once in the gutter. Its difficult to talk about because its a time would like to forget, but those who do not remember there mistakes are doomed to repeat them.
It was 7 years ago, the first time attended college, After my GF died, i went off the rails completely, If im perfectly honest it was mostly just a blur of alcohol and self pity, hatred for a god i didnt believe in, But mostly i […]
Here I am. In bed. Listening to music. Hoping I get some thought I can keep going on with that hopefully doesn’t involve incest, joining the Army, or anything else that may cause an argument. I just don’t need to argue, I’m ignorant. I just don’t feel that it’s worth it.
I feel bad that my cousin is using me as a role model and I’m in love with her, yet she allows me to remind her constantly and she seems willing to do as I please. I understand I shouldn’t take advantage. I’m merely dwelling on it, no need to talk about that.
I […]