Hi, i’m 15, I’m a girl, and I’ve been through hell. I’m a sophomore, and I know what its like to lose everyone you’ve ever had. My mom had me at 16, and starting at three years old, my mom was dating around a lot, got hip on drugs and alcohol. Both of my parents were VERY bad alcoholics. My mom was dating this guy that beat her, and made me watch, then my sister was born, I was three, taking care of a baby my mom couldn’t take care of.. We got evicted and lived in a car for a week when i was […]
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Dad
No one is there for me when I need them. No one is there to catch me if I fall.
Family? Nope.
Friends? Nah.
Suicide hotlines? Not even.
“No one can love me” because I’m “so weird and selfish.”
There are people who are willing to argue that that’s not the case, but I bet they’re too fucking busy to even care. Hahahahahahahahaha ;).
Dad’s lectures are stupid as fuck and full of loopholes.
Mum’s his trusty yes man.
And I’m sorry, but the perfect, obedient son you’re looking for is in another castle.
Should have just eaten me when I was an egg, you god damn FUCKERS…
…HEY NIGGERS! YOU WANT MY LIFE […]
It’s hailing.
My parents left, they took my little brother again.
Last night I relapsed and my left thigh looks like plaid.
I’m scared.
I can’t not talk to anyone. But, no one really knows me here…
two weeks ago, 10/04.. My dad and I got in a fight about me getting glasses…
He got mad because I should have gotten them when everybody else in the family did. When I pointed out the fact that he bragged about his 20/20 vision for years, and yet he JUST got glasses in June. He hit me.. twice. When I tried to runaway he chased me then shoved me…. I filed a DCFS […]
I thought that, finally, we were starting to be a normal family, a happy family. I thought that two days ago. I was being really naive. My dad seemed to be more happy, more like he was when I was a child. But no. He usually leaves the house for days, but I thought those days were ended. Just because he seemed really happy. He left the house on thursday. First he go out and come back, then he leave saying something like “Be back at 3 am , but I didn’t understand what he said. Thanks, daddy.
It’s my fault too. He’s loveless, and my attitude to him doesn’t help. I […]
Ive lost/about to lose everything that is important to me. I let some outside factors take over and rule my life. Making my relationship suffer and eventually costing me the only person who really matters. It all started when my dad was tricked into accepting stolen property. My dad is an old sick gentle man who has survived cancer. He still needs a lot of medical attention but now he has two felony accounts on him. During the same time my band i have been with for 5+years breaks up and one of best friends goes to jail for something he didnt even do. So […]
   Today, one of the worst days of my life. It well.. started yesterday. Me and my boyfriend had an argument. Turns out he doesnt trust me. This is the second time he thinks im cheating on him! Anyways, we were talking..them came the yelling, and well then nothing. He left. Just like that. So today, at school i tried to talk to him, say sorry. But he would ignore me the whole time. I ended cutting again… Its been like 2 weeks that i havent cut until today..at school. I guess i needed it again. To help me take my mind off things. and […]
So I never really loved anyone in my life. I don’t really like my parents either. I was neglected by my mom, who is an alcoholic, and my dad that is always busy at work supporting the family. So i’ve been alone for about a good 15 years? I never had many friends. I couldn’t trust any of them. They’re just back stabbers. Not a single one of them was faithful. I was picked on throughout my childhood. So much that it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I really don’t care about many things now. People call me name but it’s whatever. I really don’t […]
Im not sure if this is the right place or time for this but here we go:
For the past years ive been struggling with my sexuality. Its literally been eating me alive since I finally realized that I was different from most guys. It consistently brings me down in a sense that the people that i love and surround myself with truly do not love me, but the shell i expose. Ive been able to calm my nerves for what seems like forever but as i enter college ive been exposed to new struggles that i honestly cannot deal with anymore. I cannot come […]
So today I was actually feeling pretty good, then my dad came into my room and started calmly talking to me, then out of nowhere he started yelling at me because my clothes are on my couch and not in the closet that is in another room, and I’ve been putting my clothes here so that I wouldn’t have to go into another room every time I want to get dressed for a year now. So then my mom came into the room and my dad started yelling at her because she didn’t make sure that my clothes would be in the closet and she […]
My dad and I… we have our own problems. He’s an addict, he can’t live without self-medication, doesn’t really likes doctors. One day, he fell and broke his knee. He was complaining about the pain, the problem that the injury causes for walking, for weeks. My mother told him to go with a doctor, but he refused. Since I can remember, he takes a lot of pills all the time. Now I do that too, sometimes.
His marriage with my mother has never been good. One of my oldest memories is my mother and my father in a room, and they were in opposite sides, running away […]
why does life have to be so hard?some people think its so easy,or they say(it cant be that bad)them are the people who have family,and friends,people that care about them,and have never been hit in there entire lifes,lets see them close minded fucks try to walk in these shoes,them people that tell me that,wouldnt last a day,iv lasted 21 years,i cant say i survived,i thrived more then anything,i still thrive,i aint that lucky little 16 year old who has a mom and a dad to buy her a car and get her ,her drivers licence,i dont have the support for shit,i do everything on my […]
I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it […]
Volcanoes are windows into the violent nature of our planet; what goes on beneath our feet, unbeknownst to all but those who poke at rocks. Our planet is violent because it was born into a violent, indifferent universe governed by determinism and scientific laws. It’s no wonder there’s a molten core driving the living systems of the earth.
Human beings are much the same. The only difference is that we’re not indifferent. Maybe the universe implicitly hates its own apathy. Who knows?
When I was 14, I watched my father drag my sister up a flight of stairs by her hair. He beat her with a […]
I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]
My brother went to prison for selling herion, he used it himself too. He was so messed up. For two fucking years. I was 9 when he started using, I didnt know what was going on. But when I was 11 he went to prison, my mom sat me down and told me what was going on. I cryed legitamently for 2 weeks. I skipped school for 2 weeks. I was so scared and I just didnt know what to do. It deffinitly made me change, it made my whole family change. My parents have to raise one of his kids and his wifes parents […]
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I’m new here. Â Not too fond of social networks, though could this be called one? Â I guess, in some respects. Â That being said, I probably won’t be around often, not that anyone would really care since none of you know me anyway. Â I’m not really into divulging much about my personal life, but it’s never been easy. Â My mother is wacky to say the least, my dad is equally as wacky, and my sister is taking after them. Â Not that I’m not wacky, but I just don’t have the energy to 3v1 them. Â Most of the time, I’m either doing my homework or playing video […]
I’m 17 Â years old and i really want to die right now. As a child i was sexually abused by my uncle. My dad is a jerk. My mom is a control freak. She wants me to do things that I don’t love. I even cried in front of her for like 10x already. I begged her many times that I really want to do what I love. They are all the same my grandma, uncles, aunts. My friends they just love me for my money. I was bullied in school for being ugly. I have low self esteem. I really want to make some […]
Not feeling overly great today 🙁
Last night i broke down crying in front of my mum. A pile of crap just kept spilling out of my mouth about how i was afraid to leave the house and how afraid i was that she’d die (completely unfounded, it’s not like she’s terminally ill there’s no reason for that fear) and i just couldn’t stop crying. We were discussing the possibility of me moving in with a friend. Whilst i’d love to be out and be independent with a friend so i can actually have something resembling a normal life, i’m terrified to leave her. Almost like […]
wake up
get beat physically by sister verbal abuse by dad and watch mom say nothing all for being alive
wonder around (not like i have anyone to hang with?)
sister has chores: this means “ok whatver” then “hannah if u dont do my chores i will beat u so hard” not llike i can just walk away cuz she chokes me and pusheds me to the ground then says “wow this is why your fat all u do is sit on your ass”
then i do her chores an my chores and when i do something of hers wrong guess what? im slapped and […]
Have you ever had a moment where you’re just thinking, not about anything in particular.. and those innocent thoughts take a nasty turn? Next thing you know you’re talking yourself out of hurting yourself. Moments of insanity I like to call them. When something in your head shifts ever so slightly and everything you’ve stuffed and hidden inside for twenty years tries to get out? It over loads the brain and you just want to make it stop. You’d do anything for the memories and the pain to leave.
I’ve never been able to fully tell anyone the whole story. Why not a bunch of random […]