Everyday is a struggle to stay alive. My best friend lives miles away from me since I moved because my mom got married to somebody she knew for 3 weeks. I’ve always been made fun of for being ugly. Even if I don’t talk to anyone I get made fun of. I have always moved around. I’ve had one boyfriend that I really loved armed about. He dumped me in eight grade. I want to die after everything. I don’t have support from my mom because she hates me. Legit. My dad doesn’t speak to me. I’m so alone. I have no one to talk […]
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Dad
What will it take to show you that it’s not the life it seems (I’m not O.K)….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I told him, about my thoughts. Naturally he didn’t want me to do it. He just surprised me with his kindness.
So… Anyway. Life is shit. Only 21 days now? sweet, I can’t fucking wait. I’m sick of this life and this family and all of the arguements. My brother is a selfish prick, my sister is a *****, My mum just fucks me off all the time… And my dad. Bless him, trying to help but really, he was just making things worse. He shouldn’t blame himself though. I have found out how to cause bruises! 😀 which is amazing as they are easy to […]
Hello, everyone.
Not so sure what to say. This is my first time ever posting anything on a website for, like, 3 years. So please bear with me 🙂
Basically, I literally feel entirely worthless.  When I was growing up, my mom was an emotionally distant alcoholic, and my dad was emotionally and physically abusive. They were both also extremely over-protective and critical of me. My dad is probably the most negative person I’ve ever met. I don’t think I have ever heard him say one positive thing about me and really meant it. When I was younger I tried to over-achieve and impress him, but the […]
An email I chose not to send (altered to maintain anonymity):
I am going stir crazy. I really want to see you, but I can’t find a good excuse. Mom is psychologically abusing me, and I don’t think I can take it much longer. She constantly monitors me. She waits until there is no noise coming out of my room before she falls asleep. I don’t even think she sleeps most days. That would explain her insane need for productivity. I have no one to talk to at home who will listen to me and support me. I am trying to see my therapist here without […]
I had an appointment to see my  psychiatrist and my mum was with me, im 15 and my psychiatrist asked my mum about our family history and after some stuff they talked, i don’t know i wasn’t concerntrating but i heard my name and i started to listen, im sitting beside my mum. and my mum said when i was 5 years old i caused her so much stress she took me to a bridge and she was going to throw me off the bridge and kill me because i cause her alot of stress and she couldn’t handle me…. but my dad saw what was […]
I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that […]
i dont feel like i belong anywhere in this society. im struggling with my art and life… i practically dont even have a love life… when im with my friends i feel left out like a lost my connections with them like im in a different world… i already know im not apart of my family… im what you would call the black sheep in the heard… my dad despises me because im nothing like him…. just today we got into a fight because i said i was not commuting all the way to wounderland andi told him.. well more like reminded him im alergic […]
Everything started when my mom remarried. I was such a happy kid. I liked her new husband. Until he changed completely. As soon as they got married. That always seems to be the case. He ruined me. He beat me almost daily. I went to school with black eyes often. Luckily people believed that I was just clumsy. I told my dad that this was happening, and begged him to get full custody so I could escape the hell house. All he had to say was “I don’t want to start a war with your mother…” Thanks dad. I guess it’s better that I get […]
Im feeling better than I was earlier but I still feel like shit. Wondering if tonight is the night….. Depends on what happens when I tell my dad what happened. If hes even sober enough to understand english…
I am just sitting here and I just randomly start crying… I wanna just cut or kill myself so that I don’t cry anymore…. I hate crying…. I grew up learning that it was wrong to cry and that we couldn’t talk about anything… So I don’t talk to anyone about it… I wish that I could….. I wanna just open my arm and bleed out… Idk anymore
I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items […]
I was doing very well. I applied to join the Navy, took the tests and aced them. Got told I had about a 2 year wait, ok, that’s fine. I knew that I’d fail the medical if I didn’t get off my meds soon, so I told my doctor that I wanted out because I was feeling better, and I WAS.
This was about a month ago, I suppose, although I’m not sure. Time doesn’t seem to move in the same way anymore. I’ve been driving people away, I’ve been called “inappropriate”, “offensive”… “a drunk”… I tell myself that I’ve always been the type of […]
To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Today.. was interesting. It was parents evening, so my dad got to meet my teachers :D… Haha… No. It was going alright until we came to my english teacher, Which started off good. She cracked a few jokes, kept making me laugh. Then she turned serious, Saying that she had 2 things she wanted to bring up. 1. I was writing lyrics in the back of my book instead of doing the work… And number 2… Well she turned around and took my book off the window sill saying that she had seen something that was worrying her, at this point I had started to […]
This is for a friend of mine, who had longed to leave this life behind.Â
Her name was Amber and she was a ray of brilliance. Her life seemed like any other. (not to say it was perfect. Her mum never had never any time for her so, she was at my house often. Once, we even threw her a birthday party because her mum had either forgotten or didn’t have the money) Amber was beautiful and smart, too. She was accepted into one of those magnet schools and was successful in her early years of school. She quit the magnet school, however. I recall her grades […]
this is my second post.this time I’m on the edge and the voices in my head are getting harder to resist.”jump jump it wont hurt and all the pain, fear, darkness will all go away just end it now “. little bastards. sorry for the language. I’m going to break soon and nobody can help me. there are 2reasons I haven’t ended it right now.1 my mom. and2 in heaven or hell wherever I go my dad will be waiting for me and if you read my first post then you will understand why.
This is my story, just need to share.
I was raped (sodomized, whatever you want to call it) a few times when I was a kid by my uncle, my grandpa knew but didn’t say anything about it. Grew up with that hanging over my head, told a few friends but all they said was, “man, that sucks.” I didn’t really expect them to say much, but nothing would be better than that. It’s the reason I don’t have a gf, I’m afraid that that abuse will carry over. My parents got divorced when I was 7, dad remarried shortly after that to a […]
Hey guys,
The last time i post on this site was thursday i think. I was trying to make a fresh start but things kinda changed the next day when a girl from my school died from a burst appendix. Today i was at her funeral and it was very sad. She did’nt have many friends sadly and was an only child i could hardly keep my tears away today at the funeral. Why was’nt it me? since i want to die.
I did’nt even know her well but i was still depressed as it should’ve been me and she did’nt deserve to die […]
My ex-boyfriend committed suicide in 2010. I met my husband in 2011, and we got married a few months later. Everything was really great, and still is most of the time. A few months after we got married, he started getting really upset over my ex and his suicide. (He and I had 3 children together by the way.)   He gets REALLY, REALLY mad if he finds any old pictures of my kids dad… to the point of him ripping them up and throwing them away. He always asks me if I loved him, and if I miss him.
It is REALLY emotionally stressful.  Anytime he brings it up, […]
I can’t share with anyone how I feel. None of my “friends” come from a broken home. I haven’t talked to my mother since Christmas and I can’t trust to tell my grandmother anything in fear of her telling my mom. My dad ignores me all the time and acts like “sorry son I didn’t hear you” and he try’s to cover up how he resents me. Seeing as I was an accident you would think he would have just put me up for adoption as a baby. My brother to. We just found out recently who my brothers real dad was and our mom […]
You let it happen! You stood by and let her say and do whatever she wanted if its any wonder why im messed up I only look to who raised me. You never stood up to her or said anything. When I needed you the most to be a father you made your choice clearly you supported her when I needed you the most! How can one man be so different in front of people and be a whole other person when there’s no one around. I know you can’t protect me from everything but you could have protected me […]