Dear everybody,
I am so sorry that I was late, and didn’t make any post/comment as I’ve promised last night..
Something urgent suddenly come up in real life, and I have to do it first…although not like I have much energy in doing it..because my mind is so totally fixated into this website,..and especially the VERY RECENT posts that imo were just so mind-boggling with constant ‘new findings’ and the interconnected-ness with everybody here on one another! and frankly to be honest,..at this current point now, I don’t seem to get interested in ANY other things in my real life, than knowing all these ‘theories […]
Tag:
Death
Dear everybody, my fellow human beings, I think I’ve just got a sudden ‘revelation’ that I need to share about why we are so fucked up (please read!!)
by niki
written by niki
Dear everybody,
my friends, a.k.a my fellow worthy and beloved human beings…
I want all of you here to please bare with me again for just about 5-10 minutes reading what I’ve found to be a sudden ‘eureka/revelation’ moment, thanks to actually vbenja’s thread that asks and ponder about “life” here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/life-9/Â Â (it’s amazing of how ‘connected’ we can be, if we *choose* to, isn’t it?…)
And without getting too long, I will start right-away of what I’ve found,
hopefully what I’m going to share here will also ‘connect’ with all your hearts, your innermost souls…..that truly makes us what “humans“.
Here it goes :
Have you (we […]
I’ve just happened to come across this site, and seen all the replies here,
and I can honestly totally relate with everything you all said here.
In fact, these are all the main reasons, or my main feelings, that I’ve browsed around & eventually found this place!
I hate the fact that:
1. The world is mostly run by the riches & powerful, but not necessarily the most genuine kind of people, ‘cuz there’re often just way too many dirty politics & trickery for one honest, genuine person (or leader) to cope for! and it can just becomes way too much to handle!
although I’m not […]
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
by ibjennyjenny
written by ibjennyjenny
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
I actually am quite unsure about what to do. My life seems so normal on the surface, and I don’t have any mental problems (at least I think so.)
But I lost my dad two years ago, he killed himself with the exhaust fumes of his car, not telling anyone what he was going to do before. All he left was a note saying ‘I’m sorry.’ and his flat keys.
And ever since that, I haven’t been the same. Sure, I guess I can still talk to people normally and am fairly intelligent, but everything inside me just feels so numb. Most of the time I […]
Justification, if only for myself, about my consideration of suicide.
i have always known that i do not belong among the living. i dont hate the world, and the world doesn’t hate me. Its the people in it that will eventually force my hand to cut deeper than ever before.
imagine a young girls body in a tub filled with blood and water and the smell of alcohol and gun smoke in the air. imagine a hole in her chest where her heart should have been and words cut into her skin. words like:Â ALONE. FAKE.MISUNDERSTOOD.HATED.FORGOTTEN.ENTITY.EVERLOST. and many more. you see her long dark brown hair float along the glassy water. Her dark, almost black eyes staring back at you. asking, “why? Why did you kill me?” you know it was your fault. you knew that you venomous words and cold eyes would break her. But you didn’t know that it would kill her. […]
For those contemplating i have been there and would like to share abit. Year 2002 After battling depression for years, drove my car 75 miles an hour into a semi-tractor trailor, slit my wrists, tried smoke inhalation.Am still here. My conclusion 1. only God has the finally say. 2. He must have created me for a reason.3. He does not give us all the answers immediately concerning life and difficulties. 4. most answers i have found in the bible when no one else could answer.5. This life is not easy and will never be. 6. This life does seem and may be is unfair in […]
I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist because I thought I was better. I went cold turkey and suddenly stopped taking 225mg Venlafaxine a day and the 10mg Zyprexa (Anti Depression and Anti Psychotic Medications). It worked. Its been 2 years since taking them, and I think I just realised that nothing has changed. I never got better. Just deluded thoughts kept me going.
If it is any use to anyone – If a doctor trys to give you Zyprexa…. dont take it. do yourself a favour. I hit the point I would take any help I could get. Anti psychotic? Sure, throw me it, it […]
I wrote my first blog here earlier last year:Â A Wasted Life… and hopefully my last is going to be posted sometime next year. This one was quite unplanned and most unexpected but after thinking about it for a little while, I just had to go ahead and write it… okay, so here goes. I live with two people who I greatly care for but one of them’s like seriously terminally ill and he isn’t really capable of taking care of himself anymore, he’s also extremely isolated now since he’s pretty well housebound most of the time. I’ve been living with him for years, trust me […]
After my first attempt, someone told me that something like 75% of people that attempt suicide and fail will attempt again and by successful. Now I am sitting here alone in my room, already have made my plan and I can’t get that statistic out of my head. But honestly I can’t seem to get anything out of my head these days.
I’m not sure if I want to go into my “reasons” for doing this because after psychiatric counseling, mental wards, rehabs, and etc, I’ve realized there is no point in trying to explain a reason. I’ve been told there is no reason. Suicide is […]
i’m 25, no job, no car, no home, with a child, no friends, i havent lef the hosue in one year (literally not walked outt he door), been through this before, when i was 18 didnt leave for 3 years, i’m severely suicical, i’m almost there, my depression was a seeed that slowly over years grew to this point, no turning back and what’s the one thing i hear over and over? ” suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems” well hey how about this-i’m suicidal not because i lost my job, or my husband left me, or because of some other bullshit reason […]
i have always hated myself and everything to do with me i cant even look at a photo of myself and i cant seem to do anything right and everyone keeps quitting on me so whats the point in living? sure im only 14 but thats 14 years of pain let me help you understand a little i am a 14 year old girl living in care i have had 6 different placements in seven years and to top it off im bi so nothing seems to be going very well my therapist quit on me today so that makes three of them i have […]
I’m a twenty year old in college… and there’s a lot that’s happened in the past few years that has made me question life in its entirety. Prior to my senior year in high school, my father was diagnosed with lung and esophagus cancer. It was a difficult struggle to see the dramatic changes my life took in terms of my family, friends, and my responsibilities. I took it upon myself to acquire a job and help with the family. I fought and struggled and did my best to help with the family in hopes that my father would get better. […]
Im about 13, ive been cutting my self ever sence i was 10.
im deeply depressed,
everyone hates me,
no one loves me for who i am,
people dont look at me for what i am, but what i have done,
i have been beaten when i was little,
ive lost over 50 pounds in a month, just becuz i stoped eating,
peoplel dont belive i will kill my self, i have tryed to multiple times.
i sit in class all day ignored
i dont talk to people
im always getting in trouble
i have thoughts of killing my self and others
i never have done anything for the world yet and i wont, people say i […]
Well, it’s about that time…again! I am awaiting the police to serve my warrant and take me to jail for defrauding my bank (1800.00)…but I had too, I had to pay the rent, bills and put food on the table for my family! I tried to explain to them, but money matters more in this world than life or so it seems! I already have a criminal background in fraud from years ago, always trying to support my family seems to get me in trouble. Yes, I have a job but it does not pay all the bills and we get further in debt everyday. […]
         Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? Who can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
Since I keep coming back here, I have to throw in my cent and half. I’ve noticed a couple of things, before I go into my horrible depths of self-pity… First, I thought I was the only one who wrote with proper grammar. Gosh, does it sound horrible that I would notice such a thing when I’m low enough to even be on this website? But honestly, I’ve barely known what people were talking about when I’ve read other forums on random things. Please, any grammar dorks on here, go to yahoo! answers with a red pen and you’ll come back satisfied. But I can understand […]