It’s like the plague, eventually it will consume us, some people survive, while the rest of us die in misery, people avoid us, […]
I want to overdose and die
I want death
So badly
So badly
I almost crave it.
How do I stop these thoughts? All I seem to think about is death. Suicide. Being pain free. Am I wrong for that? Am I being selfish? Don’t I have a say in my life? Yes… I am being selfish. And, yes, I am wrong.
Where has the time gone? I’m losing track of everything and I can’t seem to grip onto something and stay focused and keep moving with life. I feel so stuck and out of place and away from myself, from the world, from reality. I’m so lost and angry and horribly sad and I […]
I never really had a problem with people abandoning me because of what had happened to me a couple years ago. I was 10 years old when my best friend passed away due to an asthma attack. I was so devastated and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to go on with my life now that my only friend had gone.
I never wanted to get out of bed and i especially struggled when it came time for me to go to school. I lost so much weight and by the age of 11, i started cutting. I didn’t know how else […]
The demons are getting to me. They are all inside my head now and my body is getting drained more and more each day. The suicide fantasies and the warm feelings of ending my life are starting to flare up again. Medication is not working anymore either. I think I’m gonna have to go sometime soon. I have fought for long, but they are winning.
Tonight, I am planning to kill myself. I have planned many times to but I have held back because of what seemed like people who cared or the sacredness of what people would think if I failed. Tonight, however, ends all of this. To if you were my friend or you call yourself a friend of mine, I am sorry, but you should have known this was coming. To my family aside from my adoptive mom, I am sorry. To my teachers and other adults, why could not have done something. I know you guys have seen my cuts and scars. Some of you have […]
I dont know if its depression or or normal teenage bullshit, but i just dont give a fuck about anything anymore. I used to have good grades now theyre slipping and i have exmas coming up but zero motivation to study. All ive been doing is being usless by sleeping, crying, eating too much, and cutting. My parents are also sick of me. They expect me to be happy all the time and dont know why i never am. They were having a one-sided arguement with me today and told me that theyre ashamed of me and that they should just poison my sister and […]
What if I told you I was suicidal?
You would say, “Suicide is for the weak. The ones who can’t bear to live anymore.”
But I’m not weak. I’m choosing to kill myself. Does that show weakness?
What if I told you I had nothing to live for anymore?
You’d tell me the meaning of life is to be happy. What about my parents and friends?
What if I told you I had no friends?
“What friends?” I’d ask. “The ones who think I’m just a moody *****? The girls who are too immature to understand what […]
I’m so tired of this! I’m so tired of being treated like trash! I broke up with my girlfriend cause I wasnt happy. She’s now putting me through hell and making me feel horrible. I’m tired of my family being horrible to me. I’m tired of being made fun of. I’m tired of not wanting to go home. I want this to be over but I’m trapped. I cant get out of here alive. I just want to die and get this all over with. I dont have a special person I’ll be leaving so that wont hold me back. No one cares except my […]
Let me start from the beginning. (I’m now revising this and this definitely did not go in the order I thought it would)
I don’t want to reveal my identity too much so i’ll play this safe and call myself Kai.
I’m seventeen years old, eighteen in March. I’m a transgender boy (born female) and i’m gay. My mom’s side of the family is one of the biggest group of unsupportive close minded people you will ever meet. Ever since I was young, I knew i felt different than my siblings and cousins. My family tries to look like your average apple pie and a […]
Hello everyone. I’m new here. I’m almost 24 and my native language is not english, so excuse my poor english.
I have been dealing with anxiety and depression (i guess it appeared later) since the age of 15/16 i guess. It started after my dad said yes to a surgery to my kidney( i didn’t want to do it cause i knew it wouldn’t fix anything, it was’nt a matter of life or death, not anything closer to that, just to fix a congenital problem). But the only thing it brought to me was a psicosomatic disorder and later anxiety and depression.
I’m telling you […]
I cant see myself growing old. Somehow I just know that my death will not be a natural one. Ive spent my entire life on my knees just trying to crawl through this darkness with no end in site and I am so tired. When I ask myself what the best part of living is I immediately think death because it is the only thing that ends this unbearable cycle. I spent the first five years of my life being regularly raped by a family member and watching my mother die from an incurable illness while being beat on by my drug abusing alcoholic father. The […]
There is something liberating about accepting being a nobody.
I have been bullied, belittled, and abused as a child in both my school and in my family. For the longest of times, I have done my best to improve my reputation and status in society in response to these actions. However, I have failed time and time again. After numerous short lived careers, huge heart aches, and personal failures, I have come to the realization that, indeed maybe they were all correct before. Maybe indeed I am a nobody.
If it is truth, then all my past failures, misfortunes, and regrets can be rationally, logically, and justifiably explained […]
Everybody has their own life, their own background, their own story. A little piece to my big puzzle of life was reshaped last year, January 7, 2015, at 2:47 when I was in the shower, listening to “What hurts the most” by Rascal Flatts, my song stopped. Though my phone had just died, but it did not. I was getting texts, and phone calls. Right when I step out of the shower I look down, and I had multiple missed calls from Jaydan. I call back, not thinking it would be any bad news, just thinking she wanted to hang out, and the words came […]
One thing I’ve learned in my life is that nothing can be generalized. Everything has their own unique application to our lives. Hence, I call this post “My” right to die.
My thoughts on death and suicide have been a blend of careful religious historical philosophical (even theoretical physics) study, and my own emotions. I would like to open up the idea of the first ingredient of my blend for our community’s discussion and for the reader’s additional insight.
Suicide as a right can be seen throughout our history. Various ancient cultures have seen suicide as an honorable way to die. […]
I’m back again in SP, well, of course. Never actually left. I’m in a strange mood in a bad way so I think this will be a ranting post of how undecided/unsure I am about some important things. Just going to number them, I like structure, haha.
I’m sure I should exit. This is the correct and logical decision for me. And I have some arguments that are pro and against which totally confuses me.
I can fail. Although my method is quite sure, there is always a chance. Most likely I will back out because survival instinct is a ..tch. Then it will be a huge […]
I don’t usually take the time to write things like this on the web, but for some reason I just feel like doing it now. I’m a 30 year old – male, unfortunately have always been shy, reclusive and to myself so I’ve always struggled socially & never really fitted in anywhere. Also been the victim of verbal and physical abuse at school because of this.Never had a job because of this, have been self employed on and off since high school with internet businesses and have lived a pretty mundane life. Now at the age of 30 I just feel exhausted, like there is […]
I feel as if death dictates our life in an indirect way. An example of this would being doing all of the things on a bucket list in fear of dying without accomplishing anything. Life is very fragile and temporary and we associate many things with importance since we know life would be meaningless otherwise. Science has never touched the realm of death and currently has no theory of what “life” is like after death. The only thing science can offer is the internal and external definition of death. I don’t believe in any particular afterlife so when someone close to me dies I know […]
I am so depressed. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want my sister to die, she has terminal cancer. and she can’t be treated where I live ( Jordan ) And I dont have the money to send her outside for treatment. I tried asking people, the government, i made a campaign to raise money I tried everything nobody want’s to help me, I am so depressed I can’t even go to work. I live in the UAE and work here, what kills me is that I am not there with her and she is in so much pain. she is so depressed […]
I want to die. I just dont know how ! I cant live anymore, my father passed away and now my only sister is dying of cancer I have no family left. How can I possibly end my life in the easier most painless way possible ?