when you told me you loved me, I believed you. now your nowhere to be found and I’m here falling off the deep end with nobody to catch me. this fall feels never ending, like I’m stuck in time, just floating there in emotions greater than sadness, pain, and loss. I’m trapped with no way out. You, you were suppose to save me, I can’t save myself. but now thats my only option. how can one save themselves when they look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing, I don’t even feel worthless, its greater than that, greater than disappointment. it’s just nothing. that’s when […]
Tag:
deep
the saddest part: you don’t understand and I would never want you to be able to, because this, this type of sadness is like drowning beneath the waves in water that is two feet deep and all you have to do is stand up to save yourself, but you just can’t.
Why are we all feeling rubbish? Because the masses don’t consider ‘deep’ thinking issues, many around us don’t see the interconnectedness of us all, the importance of nature of a healthier way of living.
Why don’t we all work together to try to overcome some of these issues – we all have in common? Instead of feeling isolated and rubbish, can we not somehow become more empowered?
i tried again today, but i still didnt cut deep enough. one day ill get it done i just have to keep working up the courage. i cant live like this anymore and no one will help me, people just want to make it worse. nothing else is really on my mind just plans to commit suicide. i have three, 2 i can work on while im here. one i have till the end of the month, then i wont have a choice (like i ever did). i cant go back to that place i have to die, because i know i cant stay here. i […]
So this is what I said:
Why do you ask?
Every week either gets progressively worse, or, it’s just the same droll, hermetic, life I don’t enjoy. I’ve lost everything but half my job. How could life be anything other than bad? I’m the loser that everyone laughs at. There’s no reprieve from the pain, so, I cover my costs and I shoot my dope (don’t get me started on all the precautions I take, I’m not trying to leave XXX yet). Thankfully, I haven’t been to jail or overdosed this week, which is good – considering my family doesn’t talk to me anymore since I refused […]
I am considering it with true intention this time, I really am. The things I am dealing with cause me endless stress, and truly weigh on my well being. I am not sure yet though, I just need to see what the next months ahead hold for me. The happiness I have been experiencing lately isn’t overriding the urge the way it was before. The urge has grown and become progressively more persuasive as I linger in fear and depression. Not to mention the idea of admitting failure. Moving in with a relative is something I simply refuse to do. I know that sounds pathetic, […]
I couldn’t tell by the look in your eyes
If it’s just the empty room
The empty heart
The empty scars
When fading away in an empty world
I bet deep inside you were just waiting for a chance to say goodbye
But I was never there
I’ve always been anywhere
You kept searching
I’ve always been anywhere
And you, you kept searching
When they both passed away,
It was too much for you to take
The walls came closer
The seasons got colder
The sickness took you away
And I watched you fall asleep
I couldn’t take my eyes from your face
Now you’re […]
Been a while since I posted here… I bought a gun I put it in my mouth and I wanted to pull the trigger but I couldn’t. Anyway at that point I started to see the lighter side of things and now I’m back to the dark and I’ve hit deep space black hole dark. I got a loan for 2500 a month and a half ago and my intention was to go see a woman in Canada that I used to mess around with… You know because we both still have feelings for each other. Well I blew that money at a strip club. […]
First off, let me say I heard what people say to me about him. I know he is controlling. Unfortunately, it is not in my nature to follow my brain. My heart speaks loud and clear to me. I love him, more than anything in this world. I chose to stay with him. I have given myself up in the process. Deep down I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me, sometimes I don’t even think he knows that he does. My depression is a topic we don’t talk about. He has made it clear that it take more than love for this relationship to […]
I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to […]
Oh come on, you can tell me, I’m this random person on the internet who you’ll never meet right? Wrong. For all we know we’re bumping into each other regularly but we don’t know, why? Because this thing inside us all doesn’t have a face besides ours. We give it life, a body, and a soul to torture. I know I do. I’ve met people out there who I’d love to have a deep conversation with but the thing is that isn’t an option for a great majority of us. Most of us go floating through our lives until we bump into another, like abandoned […]
I’m trying to put together a playlist of songs that, throughout my life at some point, have held meaning. A couple may just be extras that are favorites from the offline playlist I’ll have on repeat when I go. But if someone would just listen, then you would know who I am. Sorry if you don’t understand the songs not in English, you are missing out on good stuff with deep meaning. 😉
Listen to me: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNzoz_Bdzq_8KDAlE7hyzW6vXBT0AxqR-
I’m back to the knife
not the sharp ones I’m used to
don’t want to cut too deep
but can’t seem to cut deep enough
can’t draw blood
too afraid
too afrad to relapse
needing medical attention
having people worry
seeing the pain in their eyes
but I want to draw blood
not too much
just a little
but I can’t seem to do it
all I make are red marks on my arm
like scratches from a stick
it’s a real love, that provides safe haven against all tragedies…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………i cannot tell him about the progeny of appolymous, ie, the mudd of sin that has left me sullied…..and what acts of deep, deep, deep dark injusticeits; Merriam Webster, latin origin; meaning fucking wrong, any philosophy, any pillar, any principle, will echo this sentiment….the deepest wrongs that have mutilated my soul (fuckin corny, fuckin cliché, I know…I call creative liscence)…the worst of all, worst than the act, worser still than the lingering memory, worser still than the innocence that still lingered ( I still had some? news too me! no matter, it’s past slaughtered now)  he sits with me […]
My sister happened to discover the brilliance of creating art on our skin. She had danced her paintbrush across the canvas, creating a crimson stain, a promised scar awaiting the near future. I know she had to have learned them from somewhere. From someone. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has never held such a deep meaning before. She learned it from me. Her big sis. And why don’t I feel guilty for not teaching her the harsh and damaging effects of self damage? Why don’t I feel guilty that she has to conceal her wounds until further notice? I think […]
I don’t even know what to feel anymore I’m just kind of, numb. I’m pushing everyone away from me and refusing to talk about what’s wrong when I’m asked. Day 1 almost down of no eating, day 2 almost down of another sleepless night. After going a few months without cutting I dug the blade into my thighs yesterday and again today. I layed in the bath and just bled. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, no pain just emptiness. I have an doctors appointment soon and I don’t want them seeing my thighs. I don’t feel a thing but I […]
No drama I promise. Just truth. First of all, I would like to give a shout out to all my friends in this group. Thank you for your love and support. If any of you would like to chat via email, my address is wndozh8er@aol.com.
I recently discovered that many of the posts I wrote broke the rules of this group and my status here is already hanging by a thread. Over the past few days we had a lot of fun, had deep and intelligent conversations, etc. the best of the best resides here.
I am a very outspoken person. Despite crossing the line with methods, […]
She sat alone,
alone and at home,
where her screams were silent,
but her mind was violent.
Her insecurities hid deep inside,
and they indeed eat her alive,
a tear rolled down her face,
as her heart begin to race.
She took her blade and tore her skin,
where her depression lies deep within,
this went on my days, months, years,
and untill she cried her very last tears,
she decided she had enough,
the world around her was much to tough.
She took a gun to her head,
congradalations society,
she is dead.
HEY! Im a guy from Finland who was once suicidal, but overcame my suicidal thoughts and am here to listen to people if there interested and can offer advice on a wide range of issues.
If you like, you can email me at Tomialatalo@inbox.com I just want to say, that i’ve been there, and know just how far that deep, dark rabbit hole really goes! I have gone through a lot of bullshit in my life, but GOD has always been there helping me out of that rabbit hole! Just saying. Im kind of a “life consultant” if you will. I cant perform miracles, but i […]
This site is the only place where i can express deep sadness. I’ve never really let others know how depressed i am.
I’ve withdrawn myself from my good friends.
My work friends see me as this happy, funny person most of the times. They also know I’m a hater too.
The people i dislike think I’m mean and rude.
With so many of you out there feeling sad, how do the people in your life see you?