Lately I’ve been depressed, three weeks ago me and my girlfriend broke up. We’ve been together for about 2 years, in August my mother passed away, and well she kind filled with hope and happiness, and lately I lost all fo that hope, the joy and happiness, I turned to drugs, I’ve been in bed, not motivated to goto school, to ashamed of myself. I know what I’ve done wrong, Me and her had a pretty heated fight, and I said she didn’t care what I was going through, cause she didn’t really acted like it, that’s hwo our breakup started, the next day we […]
When people look at me, they don’t see me. It’s my fault for hiding and lying and smiling, but sometimes I wish that someone would see me and ask what was wrong.
When people look at me, they see ridiculously high grades, higher than they have. They don’t see how I fall apart every time I look at a math problem, how I always have doubts no matter how well I’m doing, how I constantly worry.
When I say I’m nervous about a hard test, everyone scoffs. They’re usually right t0 – I always pass. They don’t understand that I really am nervous… I’m so stressed that I want to curl up […]
I don’t really want to kill myself, I just want the pain to end. The fact that I haven’t done it already also makes me feel like I’m a weak person. What an oxymoron, how can I be weak when I’ve been strong enough to get though almost 30 years of suffering with depression. Sometimes the sadness and anger feels unbearable. I have no one to talk because no one in my life understands or really wants to. Because of my depression and mental illness, I was not always a good mom. Now that they are grown, they do things to push my buttons and […]
I’m brand new to this site, but I figured someone would be able to give me some advice. I don’t know what to do. I feel helpless and hopeless to this depression, this feeling. I’ve had depression for years, it feels like most of my life. It gets better, it gets worse. But recently my grandfather passed away, and I’m not coping well with it. It’s been hard to sleep or interact. I’ve been irritable and volatile, and I feel like a lot of the people in my life are getting sick of my mood swings. I don’t feel like I have anyone, but even […]
Recently I’ve been thinking about taking my own life. I just feel that I have no place in it and that doesn’t upset me at all, I’ve actually fully accepted this fate because I believe not everyone is cut out for living till the adult years. I’ve thought about suicide a few times in the past but now they’re so strong I don’t really have much control. I always had a feeling something was wrong with me since I was younger.
When I was a toddler my father was in and out of jail, he was alcoholic and was very violent. He […]
Last night after work, I washed dishes AND I made supper for me and my boyfriend.
Many of you guys understand with depression it’s hard to get yourself to do anything. It’s hard to become motivated or even get out of bed. And it’s really been bad for me lately. I usually put all my energy and motivation into going to work, and even then I miss a day every other week. So it’s hard to come home from work and do anything that needs done. I usually just want to go to bed when I get home.
I know I haven’t accomplished much, but for me […]
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I don’t know why I’m like this or how I’m supposed to make sense of it. I’ve (guiltily) had sadistic fantasies since I was a child. My best dreams are the ones where I’m being chased or tortured or killed. When I’m out in public I’m often either anxious and self-conscious or casually nursing violent thoughts towards others. I was on a plane last night wishing that it would crash and kill everyone on board.
But I’m not going to hurt anyone, not unless they consent to it. So there’s nothing wrong with being like this, right? Is it okay if I quietly enjoy my sadomasochistic tendencies to […]
So, today I’ve relapsed into depression. I was doing really well, I really was…but now I am just failing at life. Or at least, that’s how I feel. School’s got me feeling like that and it seems like no matter how hard I try, I’m just a failure. I mean, I can’t really excel at anything but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Whenever I try to look up, the world slaps my face downward. It gives me subtle reminders that I’ll never get what I want, or I’ll never be happy, or that I don’t even matter. There’s always something. Maybe I’m still stuck in […]
Hi guys, I need your advice.
My current situation:
I’ve been feeling so depressed for the past few weeks. In fact I haven’t talked to anyone at all.
I’ve been locking myself in my room. I find peace in solitary and I’ve formed this peace bubble.
I feel like this is what I need for now. I need more time to be with myself, not worrying what other people think of me. I’m sick and tired of having to pretend I’m okay. I just need some space for myself.
Problems:
My cousin’s engagement party is going to be held on Sunday. Before I was in this […]
What Do I Say Now? PART I
I don’t really know how to go about saying what I need to say to all of the people that I need to say something to. Honestly, how do you say that your sorry for killing yourself to all of those that you love and care about; when it was a truly selfish and self-centered thing to do, but it really was what you wanted at that moment and that you are still somewhat bitter about the fact that it was fucked with and you failed at because someone decided they knew what was in your best interest better […]
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]
Im 21 male, living with parents, emotionally disconnected from everything, get anxiety attacks but i can control it so others don’t know. and have massive depression from when I was a kid, its getting a lot worse now.
Im getting frustrated, i tried partial suspension first two times then full suspension but chickened out after 3 seconds, then partial again.
idk what to do anymore, I’m 100% going to find a way to die for sure but i cant get my body to go through with it. I even tried getting drunk yesterday by drinking a whole bottle of vodka, ended up puking and falling asleep. btw […]
Dear whom,
Why is it so tiring? Why? I am abjectly sick of living in this world.
My head is consumed with suicidal thoughts. It screams into my ears, screaming for me to throw my body over a bridge, stab myself with a knife, or hang myself. These thoughts are like a sound, a piercing sound, a frequency that I can only hear. It won’t stop unless my depression can disappear. It is booming into my ears. It is so intense! I can’t stand it. So very tired…
I experience so much agony from this tiredness that befallen on me. I am exhausted to the bones. Unfortunately, this […]
I don’t usually take the time to write things like this on the web, but for some reason I just feel like doing it now. I’m a 30 year old – male, unfortunately have always been shy, reclusive and to myself so I’ve always struggled socially & never really fitted in anywhere. Also been the victim of verbal and physical abuse at school because of this.Never had a job because of this, have been self employed on and off since high school with internet businesses and have lived a pretty mundane life. Now at the age of 30 I just feel exhausted, like there is […]
everything i do feels like i am on autopilot. everything i say,do, or find myself obsessed with is purely distraction. sometimes i pour myself into things and eat it up until i’m too full, call it passion.. call it love.. but it doesn’t leave me satisfied.. a hunger i can’t settle. or like a pain i cannot pinpoint, even if every bit of me is screaming “here it is”
i try to plug myself into different things, try to find the switch or cord that will tie me up and say “this is it, youve found it” and all the pieces will fit in place. everything […]
Can I just say a small quiet hello to all the lonely people out there.
((Please note this is a rant… Save yourself the time reading it, basically I have no friends and life’s challenges are overwhelming)).
I found this place at the beginning of the year during a real low point of obsessive suicide ideation. I got through it, I’m still here.
I managed to find a freak like me who loves me. He’s the best. He has a lot of friends and the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, the biggest heart and scars, more scars than I could kiss in one night.
I used to read people’s […]
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
I’m new to here, so hello… I’ve been feeling down for a while now and alots been going on… I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this poem …
You make me feel so worthless
So depressed and so alone
You make me feel like crying
And cutting deep into the bone
You look at me in solitude
With your evil looking glare
Make me feel so worthless
Like I’m living in despair
I want you to understand
To have some gratitude in there
To feel the emptiness I feel
And the loneliness in the bed we share
Why am I here
What have I done
Will […]