I can’t take it anymore. How can I be such an idiot. I let the love of my life use me and take advantage of me once again. After a year. Of him running back and not knowing what he wants, and me somehow always being there for him anyways. How can he so this to me. I never felt such pain from one guy. i love him, Â but all he does it throw me around and take me for granted. When will he realize one day I’m really gonna be gone and I won’t be there to fall for his games anymore. Where is […]
Tag:
Depression
A boy is the least of my troubles.
My problems are my problems.
Anxiety keeping me from living my life, meeting new people and having fun.
Depression is keeping me from loving my family, loving life and enjoying being a teenager.
Bipolar is making me lose people and so much more.
Like fuck, seriously, it frustrates me to the point were I want to rip my hair out.
Family is against me. Friends are against me. Life is against me. I’m against me.
Chaifair here, if anyone on here knows me, tnx 4 being my fwend.
So I was talking to someone the other day and she said that writing letters to people helped her get over her hatred and depression…so yea. I’m gonna write a few letters….
Some of them might be vicious, others may be gracious and kind…but we’ll see after I write them.
Dear Austin,
It’s been 8 months since we started dating.
Remember in the beginning, how it was so easy and carefree? We were on the top of the world. No one could stop us…but of course, they tried. When they told us we couldn’t be together, we did it anyway.
And now look at the trouble we’re […]
Im very young only 14 but you would never guess that Im 6 feet 3 inches and always was the big kid.  My parents sheltered me until i was 7 when my mother abandoned us.  I got depressed but i never let out untill my depression turned to rage i got into fights in middle school broke peoples ribs but got off the hook because i did very well in school one day i was blind sided and broke my foot that’s when i got introduced to oxycodone i got addicted it eased my pain and i calmed down i had to steal money from my dad to get the stuff I later  started regularly poping pills whether it […]
I have no outlets to let my stress out or whatever negative thoughts I’m feeling about myself that day, what happens to me is I find distractions through: surfing the internet,watching TV,etc. and at some point everything feels like a distraction because you go to sleep with all those negative thoughts and you just bury them and the pain is still there and it and the next day the cycle repeats, and the days seem to be shorter and everything seems to be moving fast and you feel like you’re being left behind. I’ve read that with depression you lose interest in activities you once […]
So I am about to turn 30 in about a month. Looking back at the past 17 years of my life (of which, parts of 12 years spent on struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts), it has been a roller-coaster ride. Here are some highlights. I don’t expect you to be interested in my life story, but if you have time, read on!
17 years ago, I migrated to Texas, and started in an ultra conservative high school. Language barrier was one, but being bullied non stop for not speaking English well was another. It was even worse being bullied for trying to learn English. My response was […]
The only place i really feel safe anymore is church, my friend andrew begged me for MONTHS to go with him and i caved in having given up on religion a long time ago.
Where was god when i got raped? Where was he when i asked for forgivness? To get past these feelings, to fight depression?
So i started going and i’ve started talking to a lady named candice, shes nice and is one of the youth counsulurs there. She knows a bit about my past, but i havent said much.. i’m scared their all gonna abandon me still. My trust, its so hard to earn.. […]
I have two older brothers. For now we will just talk about the middle child. My middle brother is an extremely difficult person. Not only that, but mum favours him. Not only does mum favour him by fawning on him like a cute little sad child (which she doesnt do for the rest of us) she will always take his side. I believe that this was because my brother was beaten up once when he was around 6 years old, and was then depressed for a couple of years. Even after that though, he would still use his depression as leverage to get what he […]
“Have you ever cheated on anyone?”
“.. Yes. I won’t hide it.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Hell no, Domino!”
“Should you ever do it again?”
“Never again.”
“Could you tell me about it if it happens? I promise I won’t get mad. I just would like to know.”
“.. Yes, my dear.”
And with that, he signs off for the night and once again I’m left alone. Tomorrow will be the last day. Last day of suffering through my own demise from a ‘withdrawal’ of my precious need. I’ve been going on and on about how much I love him, how much I need him, how much I wish to have him […]
Group drop in sessions or one on one are now in the Swansea area. They are running for any one having any kind of troubles in their life right now like depression etc. We are trained peer mentor that have come out the other side and are here to help and pin point you to the right kind of support you need as with the right support in your life at theses times can make a big difference. We are based all around Swansea and are taking booking now, you can either inbox us or contact us on 01792 426273 Many thx people working with […]
Was anyone else HOPING the world would end in Dec? I guess disappointment abounds. I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for over twenty years now without ever seeking professional help. I try to shun the outside world as much as possible because I thought that it would be easier than the loss and pain that come from relationships with people, but I’m not sure that lonliness is something that’s any easier to live with. I think about killing myself every day, but it’s been 13 years since my second failed attempt. Part of me still wants to believe that there’s a reason I’m […]
I lie awake at night and i think back when i saw razor blades and i was tempted to buy one. But i decided not too. I look back and think to myself “Why did not I buy it? Why did i stop myself” And i thought to myself there are no heroes, no one will save you from your depressing life. You have to be your own hero and save yourself. Because no one else will, and no one else will try, and as i lay here in bed i think to myself ” I am my own hero and I will save myself”
I have been having anxiety attacks since I was six years old. When I was 12 I had my first episode of major depression and at 13 made my first plan to kill myself. At 16 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and at 19 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. Around the age of 30 I had clinical anxiety added to my diagnosis of long term depression. Now I’m nearly 40 and the pain never ends. Sometimes it recedes enough that I can laugh but I’m never really happy. The latest episode of major depression started four months […]
I sit here. Staring blankly at nothing.
So many thoughts running through my mind.
It hurts, it burns.
Hatred flares through me like raging fire.
It doesn’t stop, it never will stop.
I hate all this, I hate myself.
I feel sick. I feel tired.
I reach my palms out and beg for help.
I wished there was someone who could understand.
I was wrong, so so wrong.
I went to someone whom I trusted.
I tried to tell him my pain, I prayed that he would understand.
But he just threw more daggers against my heart.
Not only didn’t he understand but he saw me mad.
He kept telling me how ungrateful I was.
That there were many people […]
Yesterday I lost my closest friend. He just stopped talking to me, he won’t reply to me, and he usually replies really fast.
I know he hates me, but I don’t understand why.
He happens to be best friends with my worst enemy, and she tweeted indirectly “So glad he has finally seen your true colours”, but the thing is that I haven’t done anything that could make him angry at me.
He really liked me, and I don’t feel the same way about him, and when I told him that, he hated me, but then we sorted it out. He said he cared about me […]
Before I start, here’s some background…clinically depressed 31 yr old female, on 30mg citalopram (celexa) for the last 3+ years, last 6-9 months been feeling progressively worse, last 3 months suicidal, changed to sertraline (Zoloft) 6 weeks ago.
at the moment I feel, we’ll, not much really, not happy, not sad, not suicidal. Uninterested I guess. I find it difficult to concentrate for long, flit from thing to thing, and can’t really say I get any enjoyment out of anything I do…not that I dislike what I’m doing – I guess this could almost be a feeling of contentment(?!) apart from one thing. I feel like […]
It’s a struggle having to hide my depression for fear of being judged. I feel like most people wouldn’t be able to understand depression which is understandable because how can you understand what you haven’t gone through? but I feel that because I feel as though I’m going to be judged by other people I’ve become very closed-off and that has played a part in some of my problems today like why I don’t like meeting people, why I don’t trust people, why I have anxiety and self-esteem issues,etc. . It really hurts me that I feel like I can’t be open about my depression […]
I try to hide my insecurities, my hopelessness. I don’t know how to release them all. I hide my depression. I mean, I guess there are signs. But I’m pretty sure I’ve hid all signs of ever thinking about suicide. I cut, it will definitely show. So it would be very small. I’d hurt myself. But I bruise easily. There’s only so much you can attribute to clumsiness. I can hide little bruises, little things, but never anything big.
I like to project myself as a sunny person, so no one must know how screwed I am. My disposition is “sunny”. I don’t talk much, just […]
Yesterday I attended the funeral of a young woman from work who committed suicide. She was 24, exceptionally talented, well-travelled, enthusiastic, professional and extremely insightful with a social conscience and maturity years beyond her age. Was this woman’s experience similar to mine? I am in my late twenties. When I was 21 I attempted suicide. To others, I had everything to live for. I was healthy and athletic, I’d been accepted into a highly competitive course at a prestigious university, and my family was loving and supportive. Those around me did not understand the course of my depression and anxiety, and despite my efforts to […]
I am Ammoniacku and i am 21 and live in Eastern Europe.
I suffer from OCD and depression. In fact i have been anxious and depressed my whole life. You wanna know why? I am just bored beyond anything by people, in fact even writing this message bores me to death.
I find most people boring and they are turned off by my sarcasm and humour and in fact i think most humans are phony. In  fact, i declare myself the Holden Caulfield of eastern europe. I hate all social cliques, i am bored beyond my mind by the college i am doing, i have no skills […]