Tag:

Despair

I Wish..

by Serra42 7/23/2014

written by Serra42

I wish that there was someone who understood what this feels like..i wish i could trust..iv been broken by so many.. over and over.. i just cant believe there is anything other than people who lie… is there anyone out there that does not lie and cause pain for there own selfish reasons..they don’t even realize what they are doing..i hope….and if there is someone…one… how would i know?.. i want to have faith in people.. i want there to be someone else like me.. someone who knows…

will i perpetually be in this cycle of pain..waiting for someone to show me its going to be […]

7/23/2014 3 comments

Stress Builds Character

by infinite 7/3/2014

written by infinite

I am so tired, sometimes I feel so tired, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. So tired. The pressure builds and builds. Seems like theres no release. The things I see go unnoticed by some. Fills my eyes with horror. Anger and guilt and frustration, and depression makes waking up every day harder and harder. I work my fingers to the bone just to survive. I got to get money so I can have a home. So I can breathe, eat and live in this society. I don’t even like money, and I got to work everyday just to feed myself. God it makes me sick. […]

7/3/2014 1 comment

Journal Entry #3

by marine105 7/1/2014

written by marine105

CLICK ON PICTURE FOR A CLEARER VIEW

Comments welcome

7/1/2014 5 comments

Journal Entry #2

by marine105 7/1/2014

written by marine105

I used to have such a passion for life. It breaks my heart every time I realize the extent and speed in which it’s dwindling away. What a waste. Agony grips my form when my thoughts turn to the past and I see what I once was.

All I want to do is go back, because I don’t believe in my future and I don’t believe in myself.

I like this song, listen away.

7/1/2014 1 comment

Music that touches your soul

by AfflictedSmile 3/11/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

I love all kinds of music. However there’s few songs that grab hold and this is one. I could die listening to this. Â (Not that I am, just saying)

The *** *** Dolls – Name

So what would your last song be?

3/11/2014 5 comments

Comfortably Numb [Poem]

by AfflictedSmile 3/11/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

I wrote this a long time ago, in my teens when I was first coming to terms with my depression and feeling suicidal. This was one of the many many poems I wrote going through a really bad time. Thought some of you might relate or have at some point.

I can’t bare to go on much longer
These suicidal feelings continue to grow stronger
The only escape is in my sleep
I’ve dug this whole and now I’m in to deep
Don’t act like you know how I feel
For you see this life of mine is surreal
Still praying you hear my desolate […]

3/11/2014 0 comment

My Stories

by HunterBrown 8/28/2013

written by HunterBrown

there are an awful lot of stories on this site, but every story is different right? the base feelings of despair are mixed into all of them, but how you came to be there and what you plan to do is always different. most of us are suicidal, hence the name “the suicide project” i suppose. i am no exception. but maybe it’s time i told the whole story of how i came to be here and what i plan to do.
my story is not filled with rape or abuse or anything like that. ive never been the loner at the back of the […]

8/28/2013 2 comments

lost

by melvina 8/24/2013

written by melvina

Im 15, very silly, down to earth person, well that is what is seen on the outside, in the inside I am a victim of despair, self-destructive thoughts and the longing to end this cruel joke called life.

8/24/2013 3 comments

Created to decide

by Alanna 8/21/2013

written by Alanna

We are all created to make our own decisions whether to allow or not ourselves to experience loneliness, anger and despair.

I have always easily pondered on my pain (physical and emotional). I am human so I will always regress but I also know the truth- that I am important, you are important. Even though I do not know any of you who visit these boards, I love you and want you to know that your life, your existence is very important. I have struggled with losing family, people I knew in nursing homes and through documentaries of those in Hospice. You may not know or […]

8/21/2013 64 comments

Lines and veins

by medownyou 8/6/2013

written by medownyou

Down in lines across the veins
ItÂ runs, drips and drains

Singing songs of total despair
the feeling one cannot compare

Euphoria down deep to the bone
drops drying in a new tone

Writing words at time with fright
a crimson flow my greatest delight

Letting out my fears
this has gone on without tears

Often scars happen at night
in day realize i’m not alright

Initiating relief slowly getting harder
life alone worse than a martyr

Pools of water stained withÂ red
i’m alive, i never wanted to do what i did

I may be because i’ve already died
or it might be i’mÂ Broken Inside

The […]

8/6/2013 2 comments

How I feel

by PainNlife 7/23/2013

written by PainNlife

If I could try to describe the way I feel it would be like an egg without anything inside. Then imagine that same egg being put under intense pressure. smashed broken and shattered….Its like this feeling in the center of my chest….not physical pain….but it just feels like darkness and despair. Â I can laugh at things that make me laugh but its absent of happiness…. I cant genuinely smile at anything. I don’t appreciate or value anything life has to offer. The sunlight has become dull and gray and when its dull and gray outside that is sunshine to me. A flower looks like a […]

7/23/2013 0 comment

Fighting to stay sane

by to be or not to be 7/15/2013

written by to be or not to be

The worst fear in my life is not that i will lead a lonely life but that the loneliness will drive me insane.

Even when I am in the midst of a huge crowd, a familiar crowd of friends and relatives, that feeling of loneliness creeps in and sometimes pushes me into that unholy pool of madness… where the first impulse is to hide from everyone, the second is a strong desire to run away from everythingÂ and everyone,and then i get caught up in a feeling of despair… at how helpless and useless i am and then the doubts about why i am here to […]

7/15/2013 10 comments

Stuck Has a New Meaning

by tranquilperplexity 7/13/2013

written by tranquilperplexity

In my life I’ve had several moments where I felt ‘stuck’ or ‘trapped.’ Â I wish that people truly understood the depth and complexity of those words to me. Â My life has had its challenges, but what upsets me the most is that I truly am privileged.

I have major depressive disorder, but I am privileged. Â I have a father that was a cheater in all three of his marriages and emotionally abusive towards me, but he is a Professor and exposed me to the world of learning and higher education. Â I also have a father that through his cheating contracted HIV, but thankfully my mother did […]

7/13/2013 2 comments

when will I get the courage to do it

by evbh 7/7/2013

written by evbh

They say it’s going to get better. It isn’t. People who say it’s better to be alone than have bad company, have never truly been alone. They Don’t know how much it hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to rip my skin off so I can stop feeling it. One day, when I stop being a coward, I will be able to do it, and I will finally have peace and all the pain will go away. Life is too ugly for me to bear. People are too mean and I’m too stupid to not believe their lies.

7/7/2013 8 comments

Dispite the fact that this is not a personal chatting site I still hope I can fine some one to talk to.Dispite my my family and the friends I ,worked so hard to make, I find my self looking for some one to connect with.Dispite the fact that I found an awesome friend that got me in ever way that I couldn’t possibly crush on, becuase he was gay, I still ruined our friend ship by not being able to talk to him any more. Dispite finding and other cool person later one I still ran away becuase white guys don’t like tall black chicks. Dispite the fact I had a guy friend who liked me and was black I still couldn’t bear to let him hang out with such a boring, poor, unatractive person, when he can do much better. Dispite the fact that I am goraphobic messed up in most ways I still want to go out and just hang out with the people that shine brighter than the sun. Dispite the fact that I am a dark cloud pouring down rain and lighting. Dispite the fact i haven’t been lonely in three years I still feel the despair of being so diffrent that even is I was accepted by people no one should dare want to hang out with some one like me, even if they said they did I will only be a disappointment and a waste of time . I don’t know………….society is made for money, bright personalities,pretty people, and people who are smart. No matter how hard you try something’s are impossible to gain,I guess you only can work hard to fake it by make up, studying, and following thougths with the bright lives………….Dispite the fact this is not a personal chatting site I still hope for so e one to talk to even if it’s only short…..lol ……I like the terms for this site ….it’s ironic ……by reading it you still hope for what the terms say don’t hope for……lol….^^

by animerocks500 6/17/2013

written by animerocks500

6/17/2013 17 comments

I just want to check out

by anon81 6/16/2013

written by anon81

I ruinedmy life with bad choices, poor academic decisions, bad financial decisions, and dishonesty. When I met my husband and gave birth to our beautiful sweet babies I was so sad. Sad because all at once I knew I would never be worthy of this gift I was given because of my past mistakes.

I have devoted 10 years of counseling to my bullshit, with multiple explanations that the attention seeking and erratic behavior from age 18-23 was linked to feeling worthless at home, feeling powerless, bla bla. I don’t blame anyone but myself. The best way I can explain it is that I was crazy […]

6/16/2013 4 comments

I am covered in thorns

by borderlineboy 6/10/2013

written by borderlineboy

I’m really tired of fighting. Â I’ve been doing it so long – fighting physical issues, fighting mental issues – and I’m just so tired. Â I’ve tried my best, but things just keep getting worse, and I can’t see any way out of where I am. Â Everything is darkness, and the last of the light is disappearing.

I’m so afraid and so desperate that I keep reaching out to my best friend, but it all keeps going wrong. Â Somehow I end up being angry with him. Â I don’t mean to be, I just can’t seem to help it. Â Each time it happens he pulls a little […]

6/10/2013 6 comments

I think it’s time to take a walk

by SometimeSoon 6/10/2013

written by SometimeSoon

And I have no idea why I’m posting it here but, I am.Â I’m exhausted.Â The only true smile that has come to my face in the past few years was just before my attempt several weeks ago – the rest of the time it has been this forced curvature which, I must say, I’ve become quite the expert at creating.Â The sadness.Â The consistent failures.Â The burden I’ve been to so many for so long.Â Iit’s just so tiring.

For almost 30 days I’ve had no contact with anyone in my personal life save three individuals one being my “brother” who lives quite literally thousands […]

6/10/2013 4 comments

tHE eND

by 4L1C3 6/10/2013

written by 4L1C3

A soft thud at the edge of life

The message of despair

Strangled lines of truth

Choked-out final words

Falling asleep in the sky

Stripes of misery

Sinking below the depths

Being cut away from a whole

Preparing to abandon all hope

Receiving your last present

Leaving the ones you love

6/10/2013 0 comment

Lost

by Jein 6/9/2013

written by Jein

No more, No more

Love the lost that will never be found

Feed our devils that we have created

Feed them until they want more

Never ends, it never ends

Until the day comes to bring us all down

Live the life of pain and despair

With a tint of happiness and reason to care

Expected to do well and make the most out of it

To make the most out something that cannot be dealt with

Only the “creator” as they say can move it all

All the myths and stories here to the call

What the shit are with these fucks?

What the fuck is with this shit.

I am fucking done.

So. Fucking. Done.

The devil is with […]

6/9/2013 0 comment

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