I dont even know where to start my first and only love of 14 years, dropped a bombshell 4 weeks ago that he had been cheatin on me for six months and was leaving me and the two kids. I feel betrayed, lonely, hurt and empty. He was my best friend and we were planning our lives together and he just left and i dont understand why I wasnt enough and how he could just stop loving me after all these years. I know i sound weak and moany and should just pull myself togetrher because people are goin through worse but i just cant. I […]
i dont fucking know anymore. and idont know why. idk why i get up in the morning. idk how i continue with this charade. i dont know how to continue pretending this life is worth living. idk if i will go throu with it but i shure as hell cannot continue. And i dont know if there is reason good for my suffering. Idk if there even needs to be. Idk if that even matters. Idk if any of it even matters. But if theres one thing i do know its that no one else knows either
So catch me if you can motherfuckers, […]
I have another problem ….. The girl i love… I have no idea what to thing she´s like pretending a friendship but just a second latter she says like she really likes me … Like one day all students of our school was in cinema and she was going with her best friend something about 20 meters behind me and when we arrived in the cinema she ran to me and wanted to sit down right next to me but in the last second my shoolmate did that and she sad “thats a pity”(in slovak and i dont know a better words to say that […]
the pain she hides
is oh so real
though her actions
couldnt allow
you to see
her real
she hides all day
she is real at night
when life is good
the sadness holds on
and she will never know what she wants
cant you see
the tears that fall
all she wants is for someone
to call
is she special
she will never know
maybe death is the way to go
should she live
the answer unknown
maybe just maybe she should
fall
down below
because no one will know this girl
exactly how she is.
help me?
I’m only 14, and I’m brand new to the local public high school. I just came from a Catiolic school. Its the 4th week and I have already herd people calling me a whore, I have no clue why. But it kills me. I’ve never had sex, I dont flirt with guys, and I’ve only kissed one guy. I got called a cum dumpster in front of the whole class. They all laughed. My brother has gone to that school for 3 years and tells me how I’m a whore. So I can’t even get away from the names at home. I’m also abused my […]
Instead of trying to achive something I rather smoke weed and not think about anything. I dont even know what I’m afraid of. People. I’m pathetic.
I told myself I would work since I have about 1000 euro in Debt. Instead I’m just sitting here, numb. Not wanting to do anything. Im fucking pathetic.
I was supposed to start my new job next week. I called and emailed them. No response. Im guessing they dont want me anymore. Must be because I’m ugly as fuck.
I feel betrayed by someone I miss deeply. I hate it when people dissapear, without any clue. Id rather have someone telling […]
I have visited this sight in the past and I am now back, not because I want to die. I have wanted to die and I have thought and tried but I will never succeed. Somewhere in my heart is the passion to go on I just dont know how to go on when I hurt so much. I could go on and on about my fucked up life and all the horrible things that have hurt me. But I have finally thought I found peace with myself and something that made me happy. Then it all crumbles down around me. I want love and […]
I took 12 lortab and nothing happened. Tomorrow I think I will take 20 and all the xanax  I have. I cant stop from breaking down. I always get abandoned. I always get used. I am tired of the loneliness, I miss my ex…I dont know how I could just be disgarded like garbage after all the love I have given. Why do people lie and say they love you when they only want to use you.
My heart is just broke, it wont heal…I am tired of living with this pain…it just wont go away….I am invisible nobody will miss me anyway….
i need help. i need someone to talk to. i dont know what to do anymore. and i cant think straight or anything. ive tried suicide so many times. someone please save me.
You ever look at people around you and wonder “whats going on with me” ever wonder why your sad, lonely, why people you trust leave you, i do, i had a friend we were close and we kinda liked each other then he got a girlfriend stop talking to me, an we still tlk i guess but not the same, never the same he has new friends, an me, well am alone i should have known to keep my life to myself ,now i feel invaded, i feel like everyone knows me, i feel stupid, i feel alone in a world full […]
Its the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you…
I’m so mentally clusterfucked and I dont know what to do or think right now.. the worst I’ve fallen in almost a year and I dont even know why. All I can do is bury my head and want to cry.. too bad my heart is too bruised to shed a tear like they used to.
Dont know what this day will take me ,Dont know if ill see that sunlight with the newyork lights for another day. After midnight everything is up to your dreams but what if the dream visions me not being able to sleep nor see. Maybe ill sit by the bridge waiting for my world to ended or maybe ill think of ending it standin on the edge prepare to die ..
Hi,
Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well
Do i really want to be here? i dont know. i do but then i dont. i hate my life. i hate myself. i hate everything about me. i feel like noone really likes me. only reason i havent killed myself is because im scared of the pain it will cause physically and mentally. i think about killing myself everyday. i think of why why am i here on this earth. i hurt my self when im upset. i used to cut myself all over my body a years ago but i stopped once my friend and mother started to see the scars. so do […]
How can i feel wanted and loved by my family?
When my real dad walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with. He has a kid 3 months younger than me and is happily married with his other kids mom. My mom doesnt want me. I am so far behind in school. I have been cutting since i was 9. My friends walked out on me because i cut.
I dont know about life anymore :/
I don’t know how, but I stopped feeling. At the time it seemed better than always being depressed and suicidal, just numb myself, make the pain go away. But it’s torture not feeling anything, I see people happy, i see people love, i see people depressed, and i want to hate them, but now i can’t even care. I lie in bed and i cant cry, just stare at the ceiling. I would kill myself, but whats the point? To go from nothing to nothingness. Everybody just sees the mask i put on so i dont freak anybody out but i dont even know why […]
i pushed myself to get out of bed today to go to work
just to find i dont know if i can put on that fake front
for anyone anymore. i’m scared to let anyone get close
to me again. im tired of being hurt and abandon by
people who say that they love me. i’m just so tired of
hurting inside and hiding it. i hope i can make it thru
today. i feel so sick and my hands are shaking so bad
i can barley type. i just want evething to go away.
I really dont.
I guess after everything is said and done all you can do is light up another joint, take another shot and hope today wont be as fucked up as yesterday.
I cant seem to stop cutting i dont want to cut but i just feel like i need it. Its the only thing that calms me down and keeps me from doing something much worse but i dont wanna do it anymore i just dont know how.
I smiled yesterday…this smile comes once every 2 or 3 months or so. I take a picture everytime because I dont know the next time it’ll happen. It may be a weak smile..but its more than ive had. The reason was because someone made me feel beautiful…to have someone think youre pretty is something to smile about. I dont get it often and it makes me smile every time. Thank you, John. The simplest comments brighten my days.