I am suicidal. Because I’m extremely depressed. I’ve been depressed for most of my life. I’ve been on anti-depressants for four years. I’ve gone to therapy many many times. I’ve given up on life, and I want to die. But that’s not going to happen. I realized that I’m not going to die unless of old age or if I get really sick. I just left college, a really good college because of my depression. and YES I was smoking weed 24/7 and I was dependent on weed, but I am not addicted. I was just self-medicating. So once I left college in January I […]
It would honestly be what’s best for all of us. Â I’m not anti-humanity I’m just anti-suffering. Â I think a lot of pointless suffering could be avoided if we all died. Â Perhaps the next sentient species wouldn’t be as ignorant and wicked as humans were.
de·serve
/dəˈzərv/
Verb
Do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).
Synonyms
merit – earn – rate – be worth
How I hate this word – let me count the ways …
Ok – no, I’m not going to count the ways – but I hate hate hate this word – because it is so so misused. (Especially around here on SP)
The general use of this word has been utterly corrupted to become synonymous to “i am OWED something” as in some sense of entitlement – like you’ve supposedly done something SOOO special that everyone should bow down and worship at your feet and bequeath you with adoration, […]
I just dont feel like being anywhere. It seems as though i dont share the same values as those who inhabit this patch of earth alongside me. I feel like im in a constant state of purgatory, neither here nor there. The only reason im on this site is i can express myself to those who might possibly relate, although im not so sure about that either. Im a blessed individual with a loving family and a lot of opportunities laid before me. Im mentally and physically blessed and i feel selfish for cursing my existence but i havent met anyone who gets me. Everyone […]
This is my second post now that I’ve started talking about suicide, I know its only been like a day since I started posting but I wish that I could feel like this was helping me, the urge to cut is so overwhelming but I’m trying to be strong. The reason I’m posting now is cause I’m trying to find a way to tell my off and on boyfriend that I’ve been trying to kill myself. I’m scarred that either he will freak and tell my parents or leave me permanently without even trying to understand, and maybe I want that, to have something physical […]
I’ve told you her story now I’ll tell you mine. I’m Angel and I’m 13, I’ve gone through so much though so don’t judge me on my age. I’ve been raped and beaten, I’ve been hated on and abused, both physically and mental, I’m suicidal and IÂ cut. I’ve gone through so much and I don’t understand why I’m here anymore. Why do I have to live on this earth full of haters? Anyway, when I was 10 I was put up for adoption and I was taken in by a family in Louisiana. They were okay, for the first week. They had 5 other kids […]
I’ve never felt right on this earth. I’ve been depressed and made small attempts (self harm?) since primary school. I had a loving (if alcoholic and over controlling) mother who took her own life by car exhaust when I was 12. My sleep pattern got fucked, school work started slipping and I started cutting. I got close to a full attempt and chickened out at the last minute when I was 14. My dad was just really angry and refused to let me seek help. I had a grief counsellor, but I’m not sure […]
By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]
well, here I am, 15, a pothead, a whore, doesn’t have anything to praise or look forward to after life. I’m all kinds of fucked up, I was always put last to 4 other brothers and sisters. I was raised by drug addicts and alcoholics and it’s  my fault I turned out like this when I was never told aanything different. I was never told about the danger of sex and drugs, I was raised by people who abused all of it, and I’m  the shitty one in the bunch?  Ha. You’re all so ignorant! If  you never wanted me to be so  horrible, maybe […]
I’ve been visiting this site for the past few days, and have been wondering why. Why am I here? Why am I reading other peoples’ stories? Do I want to post my story? Do I get some sort of kink out of the misery of others? Do I enjoy other peoples’ pain? Do I hope that I might be able to sympathize or empathize with them? Why? The reason I post this now is because I think I now know.
Is there anyone out there like me?
I’ve been wanting to die for six years now and have attempted suicide seventeen times, but that’s not want I […]
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jppeters
I’ve read this journal for years. I want to show God how unhappy I am for taking this amazing little child too early. If God doesn’t want us to be greedy, why is he greedy for the death of children? But no it’s ok. I’m doing fine. I have a guide dog and all I want. Life is fine. I’lljust pretend that death feels ok, I’ll pretend not to grieve, while inside I’m sick of hearing about people dying after fighting for their lives for years. It’s a pity this kid had a life-saving surgery, only to die of influenza because God didn’t want him […]
I’m really sad about my life… And I want kill my self… I thought about this a lot, but never had the “courage” to do…
My girlfriend said I “killed” her happiness, and it broke with all my heart….
I can’t make the most important person in the earth for me happy.. so why I should live more?
All fights is the same… I want give up… I’m not strong enough…
I know it’s a little silly… But is how I feel inside…
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
The problem. I am the problem
Everything wrong comes from me
Nobody cares what I see as truth
None of it matters any who
I’m just another face in the crowd
Nothing special, not renowned
Never to become anything of worth
Cursed to walk the earth in misery for eternity
So easy are the old ways
To slip back to pains and drains
So familiar to my hand that it just might slip through a vein or three
The record in my head plays over and over again about how everything’s wrong
Everything’s gone
And how the world would move along without me here
I can’t focus I can’t sleep
I can’t dream I can’t eat
I can’t stand to live […]
All my hope is gone… The little bit hope I had is gone. I really don’t think my life is ever going to be better. I’m fighting for more than 12 years now to get a better life where I can be real happy with, not fake happy. But in those 12 years, my life only got worse and worse… People say that when life is really terrible, it only could go better. Well, NO, it only can get worser!! (At least in my life) I wish I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I just want to die…. But I’m under controle right now. I […]
Well as we all know.. we can chose are death time place and day if its planned suicide. im not scared of death.. and if i dindnt have some unfinished business.. id of done it two years.. but like i stated.. its our choice.. so i can live a little longer, then die.. it just takes a flash second to die.. so why not wait till you handle your business then go out.. i get these urges to commit suicide..but dont act on em..not yet anyway.. althougb the time is getting closer when i will pull the trigger and leave this ugly nasty […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
for me death is not to be feared it is to be loved death is a beautiful forest  were we are happier  in the forest then we were on earth
I wish i could be a good daughter. I have just troubled my parents. they both are old and sick, and i do nothing for them. if my mom cries before me, i cant wipe her tears i cant even talk to her nicely. I always yell at her and my dad. my dad’s sick too but i never lend him a hand at anything. i cant get myself to do that. ill sit in my room and keep thinking i should be doing it but i cant get myself up to do it. still they are very nice they never say anything bad to […]
She died… My sweetie, my friend. I loved her so much, just to have her around. Just the noise she maked, so I didn’t felt lonely. Just her presence. That I could talk to her whenever I needed, and she always listened. That I could hug her whenever I wanted, and she would just look at me with those little, cute and sweet eyes. She meaned so much to me, but now she is gone… She was so strong and she fought till the last second. I knew she wouldn’t live very long, but this was just too soon. I needed her in these hard […]