Theres this nonstop pounding in my head. I still haven’t found away to slow my thoughts. I just bleed them out onto a piece of paper, but still I’m overflowing. Craving silence, but I don’t know if I will ever find that. I’d kill for someone to hold me and lie to me. Tell me I’m okay. Tell me I haven’t completely lost it. Tell me anything but the truth. I’m not ready to fall yet, but this whirling and buzzing is dizzying. I just want to feel safe. I want to let go of my fear and paranoia. If only it could be that […]
Tag:
easy
im not a child, nor even a “young adult anymore.” there are no easy answers for me.
…they had state run suicide facilities? Wouldn’t it be gnarly? A place you could go and just be, “put to sleep”, like an animal at the vet. How many people would go? How many would go during a brief period of irrationality, or some other kind of temporary causal factor? Many people feel suicidal at one point or another, most don’t act upon these feelings. But if it were that easy then maybe
This post is about a girl..
For the first time since my fiancé left, I’ve found myself between a rock and a hard place. I’ve been fortunate enough to date a couple girls since then, but they weren’t meant to be with me for various reasons.
I’ve spent too much time making friends in a bar atmosphere. I’ve questioned my own confidence and let go of a lot of insecurities. I’ve learned what I should say and not say, what is relevant and what is and is not who I am.
I still need to fix myself and get my shit together.. but […]
I don’t know why I have waited so long, and struggled so long to try to reclaim a life and a family that I will never get back. Three adult children who all hate me – none has spoken to me in a while. They say it is because they hate my husband of 22 years, but when I said I wanted to leave him – no one came forward to offer help, or a place to live. I have a monthly disability check, but I am afraid to just walk out. If I do, I loose everything, so I have […]
I don’t really have problems. My life is pretty awesome. I am surrounded by people who love me, I am likable, I am cute, and I make other people happy. I can’t really ask for more.
But there is a hollowness to all of it. An emptiness that I have felt for many years. And under that, a pain that I have been pushing down and burying deep, deep inside.
I don’t know why it hurts, just that it always has. When I think about it, I can feel it. I’m always aware of it. This terrible sucking, aching, vacuous throbbing that beats inside my chest and […]
for a number of years i have felt depressed suicidal i lost mum i was 21 then after went on a downward spiral lost my partner my kids because things got out of control i lost mum and i was just a mess i lost everything i ever live for, but can never find an easy way i have taken many overdoses have self harmed and i agree with some people on here totally that for some of us there is no way out we cant change our mind frame we dont see a light at the end of the tunnel maybe i will keep […]
My relationship with my mind is tumultuous at best. For most of my life I’ve had depression. Which is fine. It’s the only emotion I know fluently, and it has always been there, like an imaginary friend. Since I knew the nature of the beast I accepted depression as a fact of life, even to the extent I believed everyone was depressed.
I am more creative when I’m depressed. I can pop out decent poetry and short stories with little effort. My cooking and impromptu recipes are always more flavorful. I can draw very well, and music always sounds better.
When I’m not depressed, nothing meets my […]
I know I’m in love
But he’s not sure,
I know he hides something,
About his past, he doesn’t want to get over that,
it’s been a while and I know his lost made him changed,
but I know somehow I can make all that go away.
But why does it hurt so much when he tells me a lie,
I want to believe him, but he makes it so easy.
I really know he’s not over his ex,
so how and why can he tells me “I love you” without even feel it.
How can he kiss me, when he’s thinking about the one […]
I have been thinking for years that this stupid life should stop.
No purpose, what am i living for?
I m hearing those voices in my head saying “i want to die” over and over again, I was feeling better once i said it to my future ex wife, but now she is gone.
It was not easy to keep it in myself, thinking of it everyday, failing at my feeble tries. My cat wake me up when i was falling asleep with a bag on my head, when having a fight with my wife, that knife i had in my hand, didnt had the edge to open […]
I’m really considering hanging, the tools are easy to find, I’m tired of it all life is just so hard on me,I honestly don’t believe it will get better have lost all Faith and I Hate every fucking moment I am still alive . I feel that my mind is so messed up and destroyed. Why can’t I just be okay again . Why……..
It’s hard to deal with this as a Christian. I feel so guilty…
by SilentScream
written by SilentScream
I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I
No one will ever want you
When you move out, don’t come back
You’re trash
You’ll never be anything
You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?
And did
locking him in a closet
making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
“Spanking” us until they saw blood
And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I […]
I read all the web and got plenty of advice. I know there’s always hope and all the stuff, but I think it straight to it and my decision is that I HAVE TO go. Please don’t tell me not to, with all due respect I will ignore the post.
I would like to know a way to day that is easy to commit. Cutting my veins isn’t easy, not because of the pain but because it takes a lot of effort fighting my instinct. My body does not want to die. I am a 26 yo male, perfectly healty, weight 80 kg and I am […]
This isn’t something I typically talk about because it isn’t an easy subject to approach. I’m going back to my doctor soon to figure out how far things have progressed or if they’ve changed at all. I really don’t think I want to know. I’m so tired of this.
I would kill to feel like I could trust someone. Anyone. But people come into my life and I throw them away just as quickly. Id rather hurt them than let them hurt me. Might as well beat them to the punch. Right?
In all honesty, I’m scared. Of everything. I don’t know where to turn. don’t […]
So I’m from Australia and it’s all the same boring thing…
So here’s my story:
My mum started sleeping around with guys that were not her husband and my dad. I walked in on my mum in ‘action’ and it scarred me for life. It wasn’t easy having a bedroom right next door to hers.
My dad found out and left home, which was tragic for all of us. My mum continued being a slut. Still is.
Dad broke some news to us that he has been diagnosed with Lymphoma cancer.
to be continued…
The girl of my dreams doesn’t want anything to do with me, All I want is to hold her hand and see her smile when I tell her i love her, just want to spend my life with someone as perfect as her but no. Lots of other shit going on in my life.
Ive got two days off of school to go to counselling to stop me from killing myself.. Oh how ironic it would be.
Puts my mind at ease when there is a easy way out.
It’s interesting how when you have severe depression, regret is your constant companion. I remember when my depression was just mild. Regret was there, but it was fleeting. There were moments when it was actually gone.
These days, hopefully my final days, regret is there with me every step of the way. If only I had done this. If only I had said that. If only things would have happened this way or that way.
One of my recurring regrets is that she never got to see me at my best. Oh how I wish that she could see me now. Touch me. Hold me. […]
hi, I’m new to this page and I never would’ve expected myself to end up on it either. I’m 17, and I have what you would call an “easy life” but it’s anything but easy. Ive been feeling like crying all the time. I’ve tried against my life 6 times and every time I feel like I’m finally going to do it someone comes in and stops me. I’m honestly so done with the life I’m living and I’m tired of all the stress and people just judging all the time. I feel like everything would be better if I was dead. I’ll finally be […]
…its hard… It’s harder…and occasionally it’s on super extraordinary hard mode…
I’m an old member who thought I was done with this place…. Right… Not even close. I won’t say I wish I was dead. But I wish I could free myself ….
After retrospectively examining every second prior to this I now understand that it all boils down to choices….
There isn’t anything stopping us from making better choices.
Seriously just think of a few choices in your everyday life that could drastically change your life. Something as simple as a bus ticket can change your life. If you are underage a new book, look, game or friend […]
Im done. I just dont have the courage to end it and it frustrates me. I am just numb to the world and every day that passes just makes me feel less human and more numb. I am lonely but seem stuck this way as i seem unable to connect to anyone even at the most basic level. Socializing seems so foreign, it feels fake. I am tired. I was raised catholic and any faith i had has long since eroded. I wish it were just this one thing but it is not. It is a million tiny little things that just tells me i […]