This feeling of numbness takes over,
Emotions no longer exist,
No happy, no sad, no scared and no mad,
And the numbness I cannot resist.
It follows me around like a shadow,
It’s dark and gloomy and dull,
Like a storm cloud hovering over my head,
And the huge world around me makes me feel small.
Living is a struggle that cannot be compared,
And everyday things are complex,
But I manage to get around and do things I love,
Though to do them are difficult projects.
Day by day and night by night,
The numbness never leaves,
Depression is hard and it weighs me […]
Tag:
Emotion
Entry one:
Hello there…
This is the first time I am posting (or posting at all about anything before) about something like this but I think it is important to see if someone actually cares. Don’t try to remember my name or even ask for it, I don’t want you to do that and I hope that you could come to understand me than turn me away like the rest of them. I’ll try to write every briefly, so here it goes:
Suicide comes and goes from my mind everyday and I’ve really tried my best to figure out what’s wrong with me so I could fix it […]
Hi, this is all very weird and to be honest I’m not sure how I ended up here whilst searching endlessly through the web with no specific aim…. but this place is about telling your story and the end to your story and so be it…hell what do I have to loseÂ
Lately I see nothing worth seeing in my life, I see bleakness, I see an effort for nothing, and effort being used tirelessely. I have tried, I know I have and that is what makes things all the harder, after having given all I have..and had in me to try and make this gift […]
I’ve never actually done anything like this before so sorry if this is the wrong place for this.
Things have been gradually getting worse for me and for a while now I’ve been feeling like there isn’t a way out other than to take my life. This past year has been pretty hard; I’m studying a really difficult degree at a competitive university, as well as living in a house of 6 boys who have chosen to target me… They’ve spent the past year playing loud music at ridiculous hours, playing drums in the morning, deliberately slamming all the doors in the house because they […]
I have never attempted suicide before and probably will never do that in the future, although I am suicidal. The depressing thought cannot get out of my head. Only watching people who are also suicidal can make me feel much better, because I tend to dispassionately analyze their feelings and so I become an observer rather than a sufferer.
There’s no point to live, but there’s no point to die either, from my perspective. That’s why I’m still alive. There’s no point to do anything. Suicide is such a luxury, an aggregation of  courage, ego, curiosity, perseverance, nonchalance about collective unconsciousness, motivation, liberation, freedom of self-expression, […]
why does no one love me? i want to feel liked and different from everyone else. i feel like im living the same day over and over again and nothing is changing. im still the aggrisive upset person that people know me as and i want things to change, but its just so hard, so bloody hard. i want someone who can lift my mood. someone who really enjoys my company and is interested in getting to know me. but its me thats blocking that, because im the same grumpy person i was 2 minutes ago, 2 months ago and 2 years ago. i need […]
As I step into my house , I feel pain. I feel stress. When i’m not home , some stress is relieved. Â .
School ? Is a bully zone .. .
Life  ? Is hell . .
Me ? I’m a emotional mess
Scars ? Are beautiful..
You ? need to stay strong . ♥ . . .
>#IHateMyLife.
– Ashley . –
I’m fairly new here and I’ve read some of your stories and it takes courage to write down your personal stories on this site. Well all through my life, I have felt this feeling of being alone. I talk around, joke and I enjoy meeting new people but even then, I still feel alone. I have a few great friends that I enjoy very much but I have never told them how I really felt inside. And to make matters worse, I’m my worst critic and my worst enemy. I see the small minor imperfections that put down and I really don’t want to live […]
I don’t really know where to start with all my emotions because they are very confusing even to myself. I’m 14 and I had depression when I was about 12 or so and I had suicidal thoughts every day. In that time I saw the world in this very ugly way like if there was no more innocence or beauty. I was able to get over my depression by myself (my mom didn’t believe I actually had depression and I didn’t know who else to tell) and with the love of God. After that experince I learned to look at life with great gratitude and […]
This isn’t really something I usually do, I’m more of the “bottle it up” kind of guy, but I really need to get this out and Google led me here as an appropriate place to do so. It’s up to you if you want to read all this, but at least if you do, I have some validation of my efforts. Which I imagine would be nice.
Well… here goes.
I should be happy or satisfied enough really, shouldn’t I?
I mean, I did life right. I left school, got a steady dead end job and got myself a place to live independently. In this […]
I can’t, I just can’t give more…
It does not really worth it to be around here… Pain after pain, leveling up, feeling worst. Behind every laugh there is a bitter memory which stops me and stops me, again and again. I was born not to love but to suffer. Everyone hates me. No girl can love me, no human will share with me.. I feel sad, more sad than ever. I can’t go ahead, I am ready to fade away. I will miss my dog, my ex-girl, family, friends, and most of all, my good old memories, which kept me going up, but is not […]
My social isolation has increased since I entered my thirties two years ago. I have been single for some time. My friends have all settled into marriage and are now beginning the project of making babies. As they develop, I’m left behind. The more I stagnate, the more they pity me. The more they pity me, the less inclined they are to spend what little spare time they have with me. Exchanges become awkward. The result is that I’m not stagnating, I’m regressing. My alienation from others is cresting into hatred. I was raised and still live in NYC, where extreme privilege is now always […]
I’ve always dealt with anxiety and depression, well since i was 15, is when i felt the horrible feel.
I wish i never felt that way ever again, and i would do so, to not feel that way again , is to not put myself in that position.
I fell in love again , and no this one isn’t a mistake, it is perfect. So perfect that it shows my imperfections.
Which introduced the horrible feeling back into my life. I’m 18 now going on 19. Â I fell in love 5 days after my birthday and been that way ever since. This relationship has showed me how broken […]
I honestly hate myself more than someone could ever do 🙁 Why did i have to be born in this place and body , why do i have to suffer so much. I am not a normal person anymore, my body is starting to slowly die. I am pale and always cold, i dont go out anymore , all i do is lock myself in my dark room and barely eat anything. I am scared that it will hurt when i do it, but i decided that there is nothing left for me.
I hate looking myself at the mirror , it just reminds me of […]
Do you ever feel like you can’t let anyone in? That you can’t tell anyone about your suicidal urges or depression, because you know one day, you’re gonna commit suicide? Like it’s your destiny? And if they get close like that and you self-destruct it’ll hurt them. I know it will hurt them alot. That’s why I made 3 huge mistakes in telling my three friends. Now whenever I go, I know it’ll just hurt them. And people wonder why suicidal people are anti-social. Sometimes you have to push everyone away to save them from the pain.
Do you ever get the feeling that happy people […]
The stereotype or social construct is this: It is not manly to cry, therefore real men do not cry. Bullshit. And it’s not just crying. Showing any emotion will get a man labeled a *****. That’s why guys can’t talk about their suicide and depression issues. That’s why men become so emotionaly detached. Â Any show of emotion is a turn-off for women but then later in the relationship they complain about a lack of it.
I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I know committing suicide will hurt them. I know people care about me, but i can’t care about anyone anymore. I used to have […]
This is my first time posting here. I’ve been to this site a lot. I’m not even sure if I should post or if it will help. I don’t think this is a plea for help. Maybe just an outlet for stuff I can’t say to anyone I know.
For about a year now I’ve struggled with self-diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder. And I’m pretty much done. Before July I was coping well enough with it. But immediately after July 27th, after a great week with friends at this church campground in Macon GA, Â things started going downhill. And at the end of August I kinda fell […]
(I know that some of you won’t, but please keep your rude, degrading comments to youself. Like a diabetic doesn’t ask for diabetes, people with mental illness don’t ask for it either.)
I inherited bipolar depression from both my mother and father. I’ve had a lot of emotional problems since I was a child. I was always extremely depressed and angry, somtimes suicidal. I had a compulsive cutting addiction as well, not just surface stratches..the kind like “Oh my God hold her down, put pressure on the bleeding. Call an ambulance” I was hospitalized twice which I am immensely grateful for. They gave my bipolar depression […]
“See you on the other side” A letter to my brother, Nathan Riggs
by Joel Riggs
written by Joel Riggs
Nathan,
I was really upset when you decided to take your own life back on June 23, 2002 and still think of it almost every day. I know you must have been going through some rough times but I really wish you would have contacted one of us (your family)for support. We had our share of fights growing up that I thought I would never forgive you for. As I sit here today writing this letter I can honestly say that I forgive you. There are so many things that I held onto over the years, maybe I could have learned to get over them and […]
Birthdays: supposed to be a day whereon good wishes help one to have a better day than usual. I am in trouble this year, today has been awful.
Everyday I wake up, go to the gym then to work, all the while trying to forget how lonely I am and how people do not help me feel less lonely. I get invites to other people’s birthdays and various nonsense, on mine, just like every other day, nothing. People Have no problem telling me what they need from me and criticizing me when I don’t provide it.
I am […]