About to commit. That point of no return, where you send out the letters and emails. A Skype video message for my wife. Then its 24 hours to complete the deed. Should only take a few. What a sad way to end. To answer so much pain, by causing pain, to avoid pain. Not at all how I saw things going. Such a shame.
Tag:
end
So, I thought I should give an update on the ‘Jehova’s Witness’ who are trying to kill me.
The year is coming to an end and the court date is drawing near. You know what that means? More threats. They want me dead as in yesterday.
Well… Whatever… A part of me doesn’t give a shit anymore.
Anyway, the harassment and threats have escalated. Since they can’t do it themselves, they have their relatives and church members do the dirty work for them. I’m in hell.
Remember I mentioned that 2 guys were shot dead a few weeks back? Well, it turns out those 2 guys were among the […]
If brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy
If brokenness is a work of art, surely this must be my masterpiece
Every time something begins, I can’t ever wait for it to end.
I survived yesterday. I don’t know how I’ll make it through today.
Yesterday I just slept. Today, all I want to do is get high. Maybe that will help.
It gets harder by the day. I don’t want it to end just yet, but if things keep going downhill every single second, I might not live to see next year. I don’t want to keep having these impulsive moments where I want it all to end now. I’m afraid soon enough I will act on them.
I don’t want to hurt my family. Right now is not a good time to end it. Not now. […]
Cause I’m struggling with that right now. I read your stories on SP, and I think of how much I wish I could take your pain and suffering from you. How you all seem like such nice souls, and how you don’t deserve to suffer like you do.
But someone like me… I can’t help if I don’t deserve to kill myself and suffer whatever might come after. I have so much, and although I live alone and only see my family once or twice I year, they help my financially and I don’t have to worry about that too much.
Despite that however… I wish I […]
So, I changed my mind. What changed my mind?
I was ready to go through with it. I was tired. I still am. I cant sleep at night, I cant handle the flashbacks of every horrible thing that has happened. But I still decided to stick around.
When midnight hit, I took my rope and the book I write my dark things in to my peaceful place. I wanted my family to find my book and realise how messed up I had been for the past few months.
I sat there smoking weed and drinking gin for a while, enjoying the peace one last time on […]
I need to tell my story.
I am in my 25th year. I have been a great performer all my life. I was always in the top 5 throughout my school. Topper of my college for three straight years during graduation. I stood at third place in the university during the final year of my graduation. I thought of being a person who would bring a change in this world. I thought of being someone of importance. And then I went for my post graduation. And then everything changed.
I could not understand programming. I was good in arts though. I would write poems, was an amateur […]
Feeling hopeless for a while now. Not sure for how long. Trouble sleeping for months. Really depressed I want this to end, but don’t know how to stop it. Feeling hopeless. Any suggestions by people just makes me feel more depressed because I can’t do it or it doesn’t help. Anyone feeling like this?
Words can never fully describe how emotionally bent I am. Seriously. Im at my wits end. My parents disapproval of me being gay, my physical ailment. My constant mental battle of staying alive is no longer pulling in my favor. Its stressful, I feel weak. Unworthy. Drained. I give up…
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am 18 and got kicked out by my mum the other day so I am staying at my dad’s.
I am the joke of the family, I have no job, left college and just want it all to end. The day I got kicked out I went back to cutting and can’t stop and emptied my pills.
I couldn’t do it but I wanted to so downed a dozen pills, I’m still here.
I think I am depressed and definitely have some issues and have felt this way for some time and just want my pathetic life to end.
and i m not even supposed to be alive…why am i though? probably just so that i can end it…
Anyone heard from him? I believe his last post was end of September. Anyone have contact since then?
im so fucking tired of life. i really am. i just feel like the days are getting worse, and worse. And nothings gonna change. This past week I’ve found myself thinking about running away, or filling up my bath tub, and falling asleep in it. Or hanging myself in the bathroom, and im basically just trying to say, im really tired of life. im tired of me, an i really wish it could get better, but I no its not going to be..so I just want to end it. I just want it to end. I’m tired of going to school, and always feeling […]
the same end after any fight
tried to be a hero smash the bad guy , so guess what
back to cut again back to cry back to anger back to be a suicidal again ..! it’s not a big surprise I guess .. maybe just its who I am
a smashed one
As I am getting close to another decade milestone, one I hoped I never reached, I feel like giving up.
I don’t feel sad. I just feel empty. As from many years ago, I have come a long way from the severe depression I used to have. (http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/perfect-life/)
I know what it is like to hate living life every second.
I don’t feel that way anymore.
I want to love people more who care about me, and check up on me. I want to have more sympathy for those people and their hard times.
But I’m like the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock. He doesn’t care about […]
Am i honestly tired of trying? Yes.ive attempted suicide several times wrote and went through with it but at the last minute i got scared and sought the er this always seems to happen to the point were im expecting ill end up there. I came close to death once unexpectedly overdosing on sleeping pills i was feeling really uncomfortably sleepy and begging my mom to not let me go but that didn’t stop me from trying again that wont stop me now from trying again.to some it would seem were does it end my sister said im putting everyone through a lot of stress […]
Just a few hours ago, 153 innocent people were murdered. At leas one of them had now desire to die, but I’m assuming that was the case for most, if not all, of them. People wanting to live had their lives forcefully ripped from them, while I want to die but just don’t have the energy to try. I’d gladly trade places with any of them. This world is a cosmic, “Fuck you,” to everyone. Innocent people that want to live die every day, while those of us that want to die can easily end up surviving a suicide attempt or two. This is bullshit, […]
i really am..it hurts like hell knowing how much i m gonna hurt you. can t you understand that breathing hurts? i guess i doesn t make sense for the nondepressed. when i think about it…you shouldn t have bothered having another child, myself, not when things end up like this, not when i want to take my own life.i wish you didn t care….but you so do…you d give your own life for me…and yet…all i fantasize is death. why the fuck does it have to be like this?really?it makes 0 sense….soon there will be no more questions. Can t find paradise on the […]
I’ve only attempted once, but no one knew. What happens when you attempted to end your suffering? Everything from how did you feel to know you weren’t successful, your hospital stay and mental health evaluation? And how your friends, family, co-workers and employer responded and acted in the days, weeks and months after. And your thoughts based on how everyone treated or continues to treat you from a suicide attempt. And did things get better or worse after? Thanks!
If you want to tell details (means of exit etc) you can, but not necessary.