My family is constantly worried for me because of my depression. I am pregnant by my ex and he wants me to abort but I want to keept it. We had a huge fight today whem i told him I wanted to kept it. Finally I said fine and I would just get rid of it and burst into tears because I can’t do it. If I keep it I ruin his life and he says mine too. I dont see how it would ruin my life. If I abort he can go on with his life and be happy. If I abort its likely […]
Every thump of each fireworks sounds like a million bullets in my head because I know she’s somewhere looking up smiling with him giving him the same look she gave me once. I want these lights to stop so I can finally fall asleep. I wish there was something I can take that didn’t make me selfish. I’m so alone so alone in this wretched mind. It’s normal now the pain.it feels normal now. The constant anxiety the constant panic it all seems so..welcoming. I’m dead to her today. I’m dead to everyone. I’m waiting to see how long until my courage builds up enough […]
Today is my last day and it seems surreal.
Today I am going to go to the family cookout and later watch the fireworks . Not sure if I will sleep tonight or just stay up. Tomorrow I will get up early and drive to where I can see the sunrise. I have some nice soft music I am going to listen to while I watch it. Then when the sun is half way over the horizon, I will end this pain.
My note:
I was going to write a nice long note or even a poem but then thought, why. Everyone knows that I loved them and […]
Hello everyone. I have been coming to this site on an off for several years now, anytime I was thinking about suicide. Reading the other stories helped me to feel that I was not alone. That I wasn’t the only lonely person in this world that didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. That I wasn’t the only self-loathing person that hated their existence and felt the need to apologize to everyone about it. I only ever indulged in reading though, never made an account or posted. It’s a tad narcissistic to just talk about oneself, so I never wanted to bother anybody with myself.
I have […]
Somedays i feel like it’s so hard to understand anyone or anything around me.. I dislike waking up in the morning and knowing that, i have to live for another day.. Everyone constantly says that, there’s no such thing as feeling sad forever, and eventually we’ll all get out of this hell. But it’s not true, i’ve been waiting for so long for all of these to end. Why hasn’t it..? I want to be free as well yet it seems so impossible when i’m living on this earth.. So many things have been going on for the past 2years, i’ve waited very patiently.. for […]
I went down to the basement with a chair and some cloth (couldn’t find rope) I tied the cloth to a metal bar on the ceiling, and got on the chair. I then put the cloth around my neck and tied my hands together (wasn’t easy). Then after 2 minutes hesitating, I kicked the chair and hung there choking to death. I blacked out after 45 seconds. I woke up about 4.5 hours later with a really sore neck as headache. I saw the cloth had broken. So now, this time I got some rope, leaned how t make a noose, and am attempting again […]
sooo…, I guess I’m saying my story now. Mainly I’m saying it because a lot of people that share their stories feel better about themselves but really I don’t think I will. I just felt like I should so here it starts. So I’m in year 8, I go to a pretty crap school and to add to that coming home isn’t that fun either. I first started my school last year and I was soo weird in person and so very unpopular but when I got home I’d be this little lonely sad kid. Things got better, I still got bad mood swings but […]
I have a health issue that im trying to address. Everyone ignores when i say this. They just think im crazy over some bs. That is fine. But dont insult me. I dont bring up your drinking problems, your previous drug problem, the fact that you are two faced toward everyone. I dont bring up that you were previoulsy a a prostitute. I dont judge you all. How dare you judge me, but wont even listen to me when i try to explain my health issue. Thats fine. Believe what you want. i hope you all die or end up homeless, instead of me. Im […]
Do you ever get the feeling that everyone is fucking with you?
You don’t know who to trust, or who to believe.
It’s even harder when you’re paranoid to begin with.
What are you supposed to do when everyone you’ve ever
known has ended up screwing you over?
I can only think of one person in my life who has never let me down.
That person would be my father.
But then again, when push comes to shove,
he always rises to the defense of my psychotic mother over me.
He says that it’s the way it has to be.
If mental illness really is a genetic thing,
then I got it from my mother
and I […]
I moved out of my mum’s house to get away and have a chance at living. There I was falling behind in school, and I had to raise both of my siblings and take care of them even though one was three years older than me. I did all the house work, cooking, and cleaning. I played Mum because no one else cared. Finally, ten months ago, I moved out and in with my aunt and cousins. I don’t know which place is worse. Everyone here hates me. I’m the ***** that moved in and ruined everybody’s life even though I’ve been generous and I […]
I’m about to give up. I don’t understand why this world hates me so much. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do is good enough. I do everything for everyone and what I get in return is abuse and lies and manipulation. I cry myself to sleep every night. If I make the smallest mistake I get my food taken away for a whole week. I honestly don’t see why I even bother because no one wants me on this Earth so I might as well go someplace happy. Not like anyone would care anyways.
Everyone has exes, everyone has little pieces of their heart that belong to other people, and it just becomes a part of who you are.
If I love enough people, will there be no more pieces of my heart that can belong to others?
Is it worth to live without a heart?
I am so lonely.
A little something I posted on a social network:
L3T5 T4K3 TH15 T1M3 4ND R3C0NS1D3R 4LL TH3 GR34T FUCK1NG TH1NG5 TH15 FUCK1NG S3SS10N H45 G1V3N U5. W3LL 1 C4NT TH1NK OF ANY ONE MR SKULL, COULD 1T POSS1BL3 B3 TH4T 1T W4S FUCK1NG ST4CK 4G41NST US S1NC3 TH3 FUCK1NG ST4RT? WHY Y35 TH4T M1GHT H4V3 B33N TH3 FUCK1NG C4S3!!!
4LL TH3 FUCK1NG SH1T YOU FUCK1NG DO 15 FUCK1NG US3L355. 3V3N WR1TT1NG TH15 FUCK1NG TH1NG 45 1F 4NY0N3 G4V3 TW0 SH1T5 4B0UT Y0U. YOU MOTH3RFUKC1NG M0R0N!!!
FUCK1NG P13C3 0F 5H1T, TH3 D4MN 534M5 4R3 C0M1NG UND0N3 4G41N. M4YB3 1 5H0ULD L3T TH3M B3 UND0N3, 1…1’LL JU5T K33P H1D1NG B3H1ND […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
My mom is really rude to me. She is constantly telling me I’m the worst daughter ever and that she cries everyday because I was born to her. Apparently I’m not as smart as everyone else and stuff like that. Sometimes she hits me.
I have a long weekend coming up since my work is closed Friday. My best friend suddenly isn’t talking to me and the guy I like and have done everything for and spent a ton of money on tells me he’s about to lose everything and be locked up again on the account of being homeless and doesn’t want to see me so fuck everyone for being fake, fuck everyone for not caring about me, fuck everyone my life doesn’t matter to, fuck this world and every last person in it. I’m fucking DONE!
Ive felt like this forever just knowing that i ruined and lost the best thing that has ever happend to me has just given me a reason. I cant do anything about it. Theres no hope for me. I love everyone who still loves me im sorry for what i have/will do to people. Im sorry to everyone who is affected by my dission and my depression but i have to do this… Its even hard for me to write but i still love you P.Y im sorry dont do anything if i do itll be ok for you. lm sorry to my family i […]
So here’s the thing. I hurt all the time, hurt from my head to my toes, just hurt everywhere and all the time. As cliché as this sounds it is literally as if there is something or part of my heart missing. I am also very lonely. I really want someone who will care for me, hold me as I start to cry, someone to tell me that I am perfect, beautiful.
I can be anyone be anyone I want to be, I can be the bad girl, the good girl, the messed up girl, the girl who doesn’t have a care. I don’t know who […]
What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances […]