Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
Tag:
Fake Smile
This isn’t my first post here…But whenever I post something on this site, I feel like how I constantly feel when I do something like this in the real world – that I’m saying things that no-one wants to listen to, bothering people with my problems when nobody gives a damn. It’s been that way for a long time. Whenever I vent and rant, people just never cared. All they wanted me to do was to shut up and get on with my life, without giving a damn about what my problems were. That, mixed with the near-physical discomfort I feel when I cause someone […]
i think that it is very sad to see people going through these rough times in their life and i can relate because im one of them. my name is faith and this is my real story. my depression started when my parents put down my dog, they didnt realize how strong my connection with her was. after that my depression got worse and i resorted to cutting and trying to kill myself. i wasnt happy anymore i wasnt that happy little girl who loved life and would help everyone else before herself. the only part of that little girl that is still alive is […]
I’m sure i’m not the only one here who puts on a fake smile, laughs, talks, and pretends to be a perfectly happy person. Everyone at school, besides my best friend, believes the act. I started cutting again 2 days ago. The wounds weren’t deep at all. If i hadn’t done as many as i did, they could pass for cat scratches. Since it’s winter, wearing long sleeves all the time isn’t suspicious. I prefer to anyways, though, because i have 4 years worth of scars on my arms (i didn’t used to have to worry because i had quit for almost a year so […]
All i can think about is suicide. In the daytime, at school, at home, in the shower, outside, and especially at when i go to bed. Does anyone else think of suicide that much? It’s strange, there’s really not much to think about it, but i can’t think about anything else. My 2 friends, the only people i’ve told, say i should talk to the school counseller. Should i go? I mean, maybe it’ll help, maybe it won’t. But i don’t like talking to people about my ‘problems’ and i don’t want it to get to my parents, i don’t want them to worry about […]
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
I, like many other people, am a “lucky” person.
I have a great family, everything I could want and more, many friends who are supportive of me, and a good life in general.
Yet, all the while, I feel this emptiness inside me where emotions should be. Whenever I feel “happy”, it’s more close to feeling something close to happiness, almost like its shadow. If emotions were people, they would come knocking on the door of my heart, then before I can open the door and let it in, it leaves, making me feel something ALMOST like emotions.
Am I becoming heartless? Unable to feel any […]
Trying to make it to my 17th birthday. Trying to hold on. I’m trying to be strong but I can feel myself cracking. Slowly falling apart. People have suddenly forgot what is happening to me. It’s the same now. Same as before when no one knew. I’m waiting for my little pink pills to kick in but unfortunately the only thing there doing is pushing me to do it. I lost everything. I’m not the same anymore. I just want to be okay. I just want to be happy. I want my friends back. I don’t even know how to make friends anymore. My only […]
I always thought I was a strong, kind and confident girl who everyone relayed on and came to for help. I was a good friend. But whenever I did something kind, I never got anything in return. Society ruined me. I wanted to put my life on track again but it didn’t seem to work out. People made me nervous. They said words they never thought that I’d over think off at night.
I cry a lot and it’s pretty weird how I fake smile everyday and I pass through the day then, I remember everything at night.
I used to tell people they are strong and life goes […]
I’ve never been so lost in my entire life. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been depressed, anxious, and suicidal my whole life. It’s been miserable. It’s so hard having nobody to talk to. My family doesn’t understand. Every single day I put on my fake smile and act like I’m okay, but I’m not. I try to get my parents to hear me. I cry out, but nobody listens. I’m invisible to them.
I have no idea what I’m doing with me life. My dreams were always shot down. They said I wasn’t special and that I’d never make it. I still believe I can. But […]
I’m tired of hiding behind a fake smile. I’m tired of having all the panic attacks. I’m tired of dreaming of you every single night. I’m tired of waking up each day, hating myself for losing you. I’m tired of this 5 month long depression. I’m tired of living this unhappy life. I think tonight will be the night. Just remember, not a second has gone by that I haven’t loved you. I’m sorry about being that egotistical jerk I was in the past. I’ve changed, but it’s just way too late. I just can’t do this anymore, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long. This […]
My life is giving me whip lash.
Every morning, I wake up to a living hell I call home. I hate home. Home isn’t home to me. Home means miserable and uncomfortable feelings. Home is locking myself in my room, crying. I race to get ready for school making the best effort to look at least decent. Khakis and a green shirt, everyday. Once I herd my brothers into the car, late again, no breakfast, and being called a ***** by even my 12 year old brother. The drive to school is always one of my most depressing moments of the day. The music is loud and […]
I always put on a fake mask, and try to act like I’m the happiest person in the world. I just put on a fake smile when I am actually dying. I am so tired to pretend, so I decided to take it off. It’s been so long that I finally decided to take it off, but I don’t know the person under it. Now it seems that no one cares about the girl under the mask. I don’t know who I am, and nobody does either. So I put on the mask on again. I want to die so badly, but I am scared […]
I tried this time I really did, but it seems no matter how hard I try I can’t be happy and slip back into depression harder than before. I hide behind a fake smile, I always have, but now I can’t even be bothered to put that mask on anymore. I genuinely tried to change my life and be happy but it hasn’t worked, just like the previous times I’ve tried. Therapy has never worked, pills have never worked and trying to be proactive has never worked. Maybe I’m just broke, but the problem is there doesn’t seem to be a fix. I tried to […]
Hey, so I guess the title says it all. I am fucked up. And I’m only 11. I started noticing that I was anorexic when I was 8, I didn’t like eating. I never knew why, and I’m still suffering anorexia… this month has been one of the worst. First of I lost and amount of weight (im underweight), so then I can’t see my only true love, and he hasn’t texted nor call for about a week now. I don’t only suffer anorexia, but cutting, suicidal, and they say I have mental health problems as well. My cutting started in 4th grade, when my […]
I’ve done some things that I can’t live with , so why do I to put on this fake smile? Everyday for me consists of keeping a lid on myself,
I don’t go one day without contemplating suicide, I literally spent 9am-5pm goggling quick suicide methods and I ‘m beginning to think pills will take to long.
Fuck, today I couldn’t even carry on a conversation with my own mom without my
anxiety going through the damn roof. Man, I haven’t left my room for shit today. My body is hungry
but mentally I am full. Weed doesn’t even make me hungry anymore but at […]
Someone help me I don’t know what to do. I’m bullied at school. I’ve been cutting for over a year now. My boyfriend is 2 years older then me and my parents don’t like him. When I was 4 I was raped. My friends try to help but a fake smile and ‘I’m fine’ works just fine to get them away. I’ve tried suicide twice now and failed both times. I’m going to a counselor. But that just makes everything worse. I need someone to talk to who understands
I’ve done it.I think I finaly got rid of the only two “friends” that still talked to me.I kept rejecting their proposal to hang out.It’s been about 2 weeks that I haven’t seen them.
No more stupid talk
No more going along those stupid talk
No more people trying to change me at all cost
No more fake smile
I am 100% alone now.
Man it just feels so stupid to write this for everyone to see.I wish I could burn my mask but I’m too much of a coward to do so.I’ve goten so affraid of being rejected by people that I’ll surely use it forever on…My mother started noticing […]
im living a loners life. i use to have a bunch of friends but after high school we all departed away and also all my area friends have a spat with me…so im just living a lonely life…with fake smile….i do not go out at all and always infront of my pc…i dont respect my elders and also had a spat with my sibling and we are not talking with each other for nearly 8 months on, i forgot to smile and also loose my ability to converse with people all my friends and relatives are going out of my life….i have never talk to […]
Why is it so hard to accept me the way I am…
I’m awkward,weird and have the strangest of haircut.I didn’t know that was so unforgivable.I’m just tired of putting on that fake personality,that fake smile.It’s almost a natural reflexe now.Every time I’m finaly able to be myself(wich is a RARE occurence),people just avoid me.It’s been like that since kindergarden.Am I that repulsing?
I’m tired of speacking to myself.
Tired of crying alone.
Tired of feeling like I was a shadow.
I feel so worthless,alone in this sea of people just passing by me unless I say what they want.I’ve never been able to find the place I can call […]