I hate it so much. There is simply no space in the world for a giant man in a dress. That’s what I am. A giant man in a dress. I am tired of feeling jealous of women, tired of feeling like I can’t catch my breath. Anxiety constantly. It feels like there is no hope, nowhere for me to go. I feel like such a freak. I’m tired of hating the way I look, tired of hating that there’s nothing I can do about it, just tired. I’m exhausted from self loathing. I don’t know how much more pain I can take. There is […]
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family
I think suicide is just about the only thing I think about anymore. I doubt if I will commit any time soon as I want to record some of my thoughts to leave behind so my family knows whats been going on right in front of them. The reality for me now is that someday I will die by my own hand and nothing can change that. I don’t even have a story, all I am is a middle-class white teen with too much time on his hands. *sigh* Heading off to work, so I can think about suicide while people around me think about […]
I think I’ve come to terms with suicide. I know that it will be the way I die, but not the method. I do know that I want to buy a nice big leather and metal Grimiore to write down all my thoughts, I suppose like a journal. Then when the time comes I won’t need to write a note, I can just clutch my grimiore on the way out. I see suicide as a perfect way to die, surely some call those who have succeeded in their suicide attempts cowards though they are not. I know the immense courage that it would take to […]
why? i dont get it anymore why am i still here when no one needs or wants me i feel so unloved from family and even my own boyfriend we just argue all the time and now that i am put into another foster home i just cant do this shit anymore i feel so pathtic doing this shit again when i told myself i wouldnt fall this hard but sadly i did and thats whats the hardest to belive that in my darkest deepest hole that i can feel this shit and still am carrying on with this life. i really just need to […]
I need to go to the rural.
Thank you family, my path to heal.
Seven bills, to save my life.
I’m still down for the band.
I’ll buy the bass. Will it rise in horizon.
The sacred dragon. You all, the mystical guiding stars.
The helm to navigate, to the shore of the golden.
Enlighten. Mystery. Organism, as you.
The dream. For me. To save, an ill-dying young man.
I seek the same as you all but stranger, I suppose. My blasted n- ……
Wrote this last night, just need to get it out of the way.
sighduck
Honestly I thought I would be dead by now, and not having to deal with everything I am having to deal with now. I wish I was dead. I feel like a burden to my sister who has been trying to take care of me. I used to live with my boyfriend but he wasn’t sure if he could handle it anymore. I still can’t forgive a lot of the hurtful things he has said. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off without him in my life. Even now, most of my things are in his possession so I can’t really end things. […]
I am soon to be 18 and time seems to be plunging forward. I was unable to meet any of my parent’s expectations and when I turn 18 I will be disowned because of this. Maybe it would be good to be able to never see them ever again but I’m scared and don’t know what to do. I’ve run out of chances and time. Being a suicidal child since the age of 7 with numerous suicidal attempts had already ruined my chances of surviving this family .
What did they expect when my mother beat me most of the time as a child? My parents […]
Hello whoever wants to read and share some insight feel more then welcome. I’m gonna share a condensed version of my life story I think it will be good for me dunno but it cant hurt. here goes.
well I was born in 85 im an only child and I have two loving hard working parents always were always will be. I had a great first 5 years according to pictures and stories from family. the family next door and my family were close friends. well as close as neighbors can be I suppose. always cheerful and doin things for each other. always welcome in each […]
and soon. Sure, who the hell doesnt want an easy way out, but growing tired of all the nay-Sayers who dont think i have the guts to off myself. MORE bad news today. MORE being alone! MORE being screwed-over by family. and yes, at this point i know that no one cares and i certainly ASK that no one cares. Just MORE shit-filled proof in my life stating i am worthless to others and i know damn well, i have long since been worthless to myself, too. i could give a fuck. i found a way to legally purchase a gun in my state. no […]
so hi… to be honest i dont know what i am supposed to put on here so im going to try this. yes i am very sad,
no my dad doesnt rape me. no my family does not hit me. actually my moms side of the family is nice ..
my dad does drink all the time. my mom is very stressed, my sister hates everything and my brother is bullied, people are very mean to me for being diffrent , and liking things normal 14 year olds would like… im the girl you walk by in the mall who has eye liner every where and all black […]
I never realized how exhausting it is to research ways to die, along with writing a note that explains it all. I’m so exhausted I’ve taken 3 showers today just trying to get it all done. By the end of Friday I don’t intend to be here anymore. When my boyfriend at the time talked me into an abortion I didn’t want he promised he would be around afterwords, I made sure he said he would because I knew I couldn’t handle all of this alone. He left regardless and I told my family about everything because I was afraid of what I would do and […]
Hey y’all. I’ve been a long time lurker and just decided to make an account. Reading some of the things here seems to help me sleep at night and reminds me that there’s always an alternative to life.
My title to this post is tired of life and that statement couldn’t be any truer for me right now. Fourth of July just past and I celebrated it with my blood relatives, relatives and their friends. The party was at my aunts house and she has a pool and yard for fireworks. Many people would be excited to enjoy the beautiful day out in the sunshine, […]
My family suck. Mostly my mom though. They are full of empty promises and bullshit reasons to hit you or ***** you out for something stupid. Like today for example, I was walking around this glass table outside when my dog, who was with me, freaked out and pushed the table over. My mom gets angry and blame me for the table being broken. She hit me and started saying things that just hurt, especially when it’s coming from FAMILY. She cared more about ten old table that’s about 7 years old then me bleeding and hurt. Like it’s a table. She was talking about […]
I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious & I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me. Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]
It’s my first time here, I want to say that English is not my first language so I’m sorry if I make mistakes.
I’m 20 and I’ve been suicidal since I was 9, I’ve tried it a few times when I was younger and didn’t succeed but luckily no one even noticed. I’ve regularly made cuts in my legs since I was 12, my family and friends have seen the scars and even asked about them but none of them seems to actually care about it.
Last year I started talking with who is my best friend now, she’s suicidal too. We support each other and we […]
Here I am new here to this web site. Here I will share a bit about me,ok? English is not my first language,so I am sorry if my writhing are bad.
I am in my early 50s. Now,I Will not bore you whit my whole life. I have had many many girlfreends. The problem,I cheat.I want to stop. Becose,, it is hurting them., Many have left me. I am to afraid to tell my current girlfreend that i am cheating on her.
I am sorry,many women i have been with., I have kids that we did not want. Now they know,everyone in my family knows. I Have […]
I just don’t even care anymore. The passion to pursue my old dreams are gone. I’m just defeated by this feeling of emptiness. Like I have no self worth or purpose to serve. By no means, do I have it the worst. I have a loving, supporting, fully functional family.I have nice tangible things and have never been sexually abused. None of this matters, though, and each day I wish that I wouldn’t have all of these things and that my fifteen years on this earth would end. I guess I’m frustrated at myself,I wish that there was more to this life of mine. There’s […]
Yesterday I wanted to commit suicide so I cut sure it wasn’t on or near the vein but I cut. Today I wanted to commit suicide so I cut right below the veins and I felt yeah I’m better now. But then the future came and my other side said “well today is pleasant isn’t it” and I thought yeah it is. “Well think about this if it is pleasant why are you still here shouldn’t you be dead anyways no one would care” so I thought ya he’s right. So I did I cut right on the veins deep deep into them I watched […]
Two nights ago I nearly died from an overdose. Before I took the drug I was suicidal but as I was ODing I freaked out and did everything to survive. The entire next day I was so relieved to be alive and felt that this was the turning point I needed. That night I felt myself change back, and all the depression and insecurities slipped back in. Today I find myself wishing that I did die because I am faced with constant reminders that I am useless and will never live a satisfactory life. I’m sitting here thirsty, starving and unable to go to the […]
When I first found out that it was love, real love, I couldn’t wait to tell her. I knew that she would be so damn proud of me, cause she always wanted the best for her little boy. And yes, she saw the struggle I went through in my younger years. She knew that I didn’t want to live my life and that it was simply a cruel joke. She saw all this, my mother. But I stayed strong for her and kept a promise.
When I proclaimed that the time had come..and that I didn’t need to be alone anymore..I told her that I […]