On how to conquer alcohol addiction. I usually drink about 8 ounces of hard liquor and about four 8% beers. When I don’t drink my body and my heart starts to feel weird and I don’t want to go through withdrawals as it is one the only ones that can be fatal. Someone please give me some help on how I can wean myself away from this liquid devil. I’ve been drinking for about 10 years. Off and and On super heavy but as of late really heavy.
Tag:
feel
I have felt like shit for so long, I don’t remember what it’s like to feel normal.
Since the fifth grade, I have been dieting because one of my friends constantly told me my thighs were fat. I compared myself to her daily: She was pretty, had good grades, had a Mom lot of boys wanting to be her boyfriend, and I had jack shit.
In sixth grade, I started self harming. I was caught, but nothing came of it and I started to do it again about a month later.
In seventh grade, I started getting bullied. I would get shoved in the halls and would get called ******, […]
counts in life but the way you feel and your sense of self. To think any less is to be lying to yourself. Never sell yourself short.
Todays theme has been 7. Been seeing it everywhere and this update is number 7. How synchronistic.
http://youtu.be/HLyllO4GFVM
Today I want to tell you to dream big guys. If you feel hopeless and dead inside. The key is to pump our faith and hope for a better tomorrow. I know for me when I’m distraught like I was the night with TPHG later into the evening. He encouraged and bolstered my faith by having yet another great conversation. If you have a dream already: make it bigger. If your dreams are dead: be resurrected. If you’re scared to move forward: fuck it. Feel the fear […]
I smoke to forget. I drink to forget. I cut to no longer feel what it is I want to forget. I sleep to get away. I want to get away for good.
Deter from the missionary target
Only because I’m running out of words
I’m not trying to go
Are you going to make sweet love, like the Moon
That I won’t wish, was mine
Vague and I don’t know what you’re saying
Are you going to do it, too, or what
Do what or do what
Are you going to do it, too
I wish that I were, a Mr. Mime
Blue Marvel, I called to you
Let me die or let me lose
Die, like the wind
Let me feel even if the cold
Because if then what are you waiting for
I’ll kept if I could
I was born to a drug adict that loved being passed around bars and biker gangs! No father. First 7 yrs in and out of foster homes, out only when she wanted to feel like a mother. Finally left at an orphanage. 2 years later adopted, it took them all of 5 yrs to realize they didn’t want kids( or just me). Back into foster ” care” for all of high school. Joined they navy, didn’t fit in. A dozen or so girlfriends all cheaters, boy can i pick them. 84 jobs before 30. In that time ( mostly as a teen) tried to kill […]
Do you ever get this feeling when one moment you’re completely fine, and the next, you feel like a knife stabbed you in the heart and all you want to do is crumple up and cry?
ok so I get this website is made to vent to other suicidal people and to get help on easiest ways to kill yourself and just a place you feel like you can go to when you’re feeling suicidal I’ve came here before looking for easiest ways to kill myself and read a lot of other people’s stories and I went through the phase of wanting to end my life. That phase started when I was in the second grade I gave all of my friends my things and told them I wouldn’t be back and went home and tried to stab myself multiple times […]
i’m not in a very good place right now. today i got on facebook and discovered ‘she’ sent me a friend request – the ‘she’ who my dad cheated with all those months ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom’s lives. i guess she honestly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong that night… i don’t know what the hell kind of drug she was on… but how dare she. i saw that today and everything came flooding right back to me, all of it. i feel like i’ve been hit in the stomach and now i can’t breathe. what’s worse, my older sister is friends […]
the way i feel has no words. i live day in and day put of not being wanted by anyone. i am a burden to everyone i speak with. i annoy people. there’s something very off about who i am. why am i so strange?
i just want someone to listen to me. ive been used by others for disgusting factors. people tire of me easily
i bring bad luck to whomever im with
im just devastating as a person.
nobody at 18 years old should feel like me. i wish i was normal i wish i didn’t want to die. i wish someone cared. i wish […]
Well, I finally got it. I received financial aid and I can go to school now. I felt happy for a few hours, but then I started thinking again. Thinking about what I actually want to do with my life and the truth is I don’t want to do anything with my life. So why go to school? I actually love school because I can learn new things and not think about my pathetic life, but what’s the point. I don’t want to be here anymore. Why should I go to school and pay thousands of dollars to get a big paying job when all […]
Its been a while since I thought about suicide. I had a panic the other day tho. I went and got some help in july. Went to this psychiatrist and got some ativan for anxiety and he gave me welbutrin for depression. I told him I didn’t feel depressed anymore. Just normal sadness ocassionionly. Lots of anxiety but not the suicidal solution that used to be right there just last year. Idk. I don’t think I’m depressed. The welbutrin doesn’t do shit as far as I can tell and this is like 2 and a half weeks in. I think I have add. I can’t […]
this place seems kinda dead, but oh well. i’ve run out of good places to share my real feelings. i wonder if anyone here remembers me at all (prolly not). things are the same as they were before, except i’ve gotten more depressed and it seems like i’m also physically falling apart, although i’m only 18. my body does not work how it should, along with my mind.
last night i had what i can only describe as a panic wave or some kind of anxiety attack. it was just after 12:30 am and i had turned the lights out for bed. all day i […]
This time of year always fucks me up, the goddamn school year is starting again. I don’t know, when I look back, the year don’t seem so bad but its the before and during that makes me wanna kill myself? If that makes any sense? Like the anticipation of knowing my anxiety levels will be off the roof again? Knowing that I will be aware of every move and word that comes from my mouth? Knowing that nothing really matters yet I fuckin care and make myself think that I need to impress and make sure people don’t get a hint that I actually want […]
I met him last year around the end of August beginning of September. He was so nice to me. And he started flirting with me and saying how I was cute. Now I never really had a guy say this to me as I spent many years being called ugly and unattractive and you know. I started to devolop feelings for him and started to trust him. I loved his personality and it’s like, he was it for me. But I started to realize at the end that he only liked me for sex. It was lust for him. He only wanted my body. Every […]
When you come to think of those hard times you’ve been through you would think that you wouldn’t want it to happen again. Even though i have a boyfriend I know that i can’t lean on him when i’m upset or depressed because whats the point in bringing him down as well as myself… there is no point just because i have a fucked up life doesn’t mean i should fuck up anyone else’s and even though it pains me to write on here expressing my feelings i know that others have been feeling the same way as i have been and still am. Don’t […]
“What’s your plan?”
I don’t have one.
“You’re trusting providence.”
I nod.
“You get angry and blow up at the slightest criticism of yourself, constructive or not. You can’t accept any from anybody.” She said observantly.
No. I don’t.
“Why?”
People criticize what they don’t understand.
“Well, you’re going to have to learn. Learn to accept advice.”
No. I never will.
“Why not? You are suffering.”
We all suffer. We only ask for advice when we feel lost. I’ve never needed advice from anybody. Life, is all about learning we have all the answers we’ve ever needed inside of ourselves. Truth is we’re never lost. […]
Its been odd, havent posted in a while since ive been caught up in feelings and thoughts. But now ive hit a wall again and its not even for the usual causes. Normally i would fluctuate between feelings of extreme highs and lows, though lately ive been cruising in the neutral zone.
Ive dropped a lot of expectations and hopes, its made me look at things or losses as unavoidable but necessary. Where it used to cause me grief now i have a sense of understanding why things happened that way. Why people reacted to me and my condition. With that i no longer dwell […]
So old.
Yet still single.
Never had a boyfriend.
Will I become one of those cliche
40 year old virgin
Should I just be in a relationship for the sack of being in a relationship?
Even if I don’t feel a connection.
What is wrong with me.
I hate my life…