Tag:

feels

something

by evildandelions 1/23/2016

written by evildandelions

Sometimes it feels like I’m coping, maybe even okay.

Then I’m back to anxious and sad and missing my ex so much my chest hurts. I want her to be missing me. She probably is, but it doesn’t feel like it. At one point she’d said she was planning to contact me a few months after the breakup, because she missed me so much and still wanted me in her life. I think all that’s over. She wasn’t planning to leave the state then. Now she has. Maybe she’ll come back, but…

I feel like she’s done with me.

I feel like I’m the one who has lost […]

1/23/2016 3 comments

Three suicides in my memory

by Cordless 1/23/2016

written by Cordless

A long time ago, when I was still in high school, the English teacher’s son killed himself.

He hung himself from a tree in the back yard, using a dog leash.

There are two things that still stick in my memory all these years.

One, the teacher had trouble acknowledging the truth of what happened. For a long time, she stayed in denial. She insisted it must have been an “accident”, because she couldn’t accept the fact that he had been suffering enough to make this kind of choice.

Everyone else in the community knew the truth of it, and they were sad and shocked and confused (and whatever […]

1/23/2016 4 comments

HELP ME

by Lawli 1/22/2016

written by Lawli

I spend so much time daydreaming it’s like I live another life inside my head. I have daydreamed for as long as I can remember, all through primary school and I’m now in High school (15 years old). It has never bothered me that much in the past, I mean it would keep me from missing a lot in class but I never thought it was really that bad – until now. Now I just feel like I have another life inside my head, at first it didn’t cross my mind but now it’s stuffing up my head. I want it all to stop, I […]

1/22/2016 2 comments

They say it gets better.

by tired123 1/21/2016

written by tired123

They say it gets better and I want to believe that. I have fought with depression for so many years I hardly remember before I had it anymore. Yes there are times when I dont feel like blowing my head off. But time after time the feeling comes back. It seems to be my brains “go to” thought whenever Im even the slightest bit upset. I have tried depression medication…. Many kinds…. But they dont seem to do anything for me but make me a tired zombie. I stopped trying to find one that works about 8 years ago.

My husband cant grasp why I feel […]

1/21/2016 12 comments

Just putting my feelings out there..

by justanothergirl09 1/15/2016

written by justanothergirl09

It’s sad.

I feel sad.

These last 4 days (counting today) have been so tiring. I’ve been so emotionally drained it’s ridiculous.

And it’s all because of a guy.

A guy that doesn’t even know my name.

And the worst is, I don’t even think he wants to know.

I know his; I know what grade he’s in; what lunch rotations he has, yet he knows nothing about me.

What I’m questioning is why I can’t seem to let it all go.

I want to let it go but it feels like as if there’s nothing I’m holding on to.

I like him. I do. But he doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t […]

1/15/2016 2 comments

I feel like a robot…

by Lawli 1/15/2016

written by Lawli

It feels like my depression isn’t as bad, but it’s only because I feel so emotionless now. I can barley have a conversation with someone, I’m not interested in having a conversation with anyone. My mind feels blank but my head is full.

I have been like this for a couple of days. I have been depressed for a long time but now I finally feel so empty, a lot of the time I’m just staring mid air thinking about nothing. I have no interest in anything and most things just seem boring to me now. I just feel so hopeless, purposeless, like nothing.

1/15/2016 5 comments

My song

by sulger 1/13/2016

written by sulger

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Tall-guy-Free-me.mp3

A song I wrote about depression.

Lyrics:

Free me from this prison,

I’ve been locked away for so long,

every day seems to last forever.

Then comes the night,

the time when all my toughts are set free,

they flow through me aimlessly

wanting to become a part of me!

I can feel the darkness

taking over my mind,

all I can see is blackness,

I feel empty, like there’s nothing to be found.

Within me

there is only despair,

I can not see clearly

it feels like life isn’t fair.

And then I think to myself

what feels better,

or less painfull

than being alive?

A rope around my neck?

A bullet through my head?

freefalling through the sky

meeting death at the end?

And then I think […]

1/13/2016 7 comments

Update

by beaGhost 1/12/2016

written by beaGhost

It’s been nagging at me lately, how I’ve been living my life. I’m unemployed, about to start a job that my sister essentially got for me (she’s perfect). Still living at home. Dating, for 3.5 years now, a guy who I’m not entirely sure about.

He broke up with me for a month or two at the end of the summer. It was sudden, and I was left without many of the answers i needed to move on. Why? What happened? Why now? I essentially segregated myself from the world. My family tried really hard to get me out of my room but I had found […]

1/12/2016 1 comment

I hurt myself today

by 200085 1/10/2016

written by 200085

Sorry im not jonny cash but yeah i hurt myself. I couldnt get out of my head and couldnt stop crying. Its the only thing that helps other then taking something, and there arent any of those around so. Next best thing right. Is it bad that im saying this. Im sorry i didnt mean to cause any trouble its just talking helps after too, but im alone at the moment. I think its because part of me feels bad because this is the only thing that is keeping me “ok” untill i start feeling bad again. At the sametime im kind of […]

1/10/2016 3 comments

Lately

by hopeisafourletterword 1/10/2016

written by hopeisafourletterword

I’ve been dwelling on different scenarios that could put me in the hospital. I know like between 50-75 people that would probably come see me, but there’s one person whose presence would mean the most to me. I’d want him there to hold my hand, talk to me, stay with me through it all, and if I were dying I’d want him holding me. I’d want him there so I could tell him how much I love him.

I’ve been in love with him for over a year, I honestly thought I’d be over it by now. He kinda knew that I liked him before, I […]

1/10/2016 2 comments

Sick and tired of loving someone…

by ppprx 1/9/2016

written by ppprx

She’s the reason why I’m happy and at the same time she’s also the reason why I get depressed. She inspires me to do my best in everything and at the same time she’s the reason why I feel uninspired to do anything. I know it sounds weird.

I feel like I’m a third wheel to a relationship that should obviously work out and yet nothing’s happening. I’m stuck to be some girl’s friend while she and my guy friend are all head over heels each other but they aren’t even together. It fucking sucks to think that since they aren’t even together, what I should […]

1/9/2016 5 comments

hopeless

by Namelessqueer 1/8/2016

written by Namelessqueer

I have been trying to push through but some days it gets too hard. I am not who I wish I were and I cannot have the impact that I wish I could have. I feel like I am useless and can’t help anyone. I feel like I’m stupid to try. Feel like I can’t help myself. Feel like there is no point living. feel like things are always tumbling but that sometimes i close my eyes and I can’t tell that they are. It feels like every time i open my eyes things are still melting away but I try to hide these feelings […]

1/8/2016 5 comments

Stuck

by headupunderdarkcloud 1/6/2016

written by headupunderdarkcloud

Man, how does it get like this? To the point where every time you think you’ve got the solution to better your situation, invest all the energy and time you feel you’ve got left into it, only to find it’s drug you further down and more stuck than you were before? Leaving you that much more used up and exhausted, immobile, paralyzed to make another move, fearing like before, the likelihood it’ll just sink you further down..

You feel like it’s a sick curse, like your life has already been written, unwittingly playing the unfortunate role of some tragedy stricken fictional character, only it’s not fiction. […]

1/6/2016 5 comments

Keep Moving

by Kninea 1/6/2016

written by Kninea

This may be a bit confusing to some of you, but it’s what has the need to be let out of my head. When you’re depressed you need to hold onto whatever you can to live. Make up an excuse and believe it. I can’t say I have felt more pain than someone else because no one can feel what someone feels. I can imagine what others have been through based on my tolerance of pain, but to say I have it worse than someone else does can’t be true. Yes, I know this is horrible, but at least once everyday I imagine killing myself […]

1/6/2016 1 comment

Idk

by Chaucer 1/6/2016

written by Chaucer

Wanna know something I’ve never admitted before now? I’m not scared of the darkness inside me. It’s comfortable, familiar, but I’m terrified of the pure. It’s in there somewhere and I swear it’s so bright It washes over everything else until it’s all I can see, and it it’s in love with everyone. Honestly I just want so bad to embrace it but I think it has the power to destroy the rest of me. It feels like my choices are to watch myself destroy my own life like I always do, or die in a barrage of change, and I’m too much of a […]

1/6/2016 4 comments

I think my life is over..

by WhatisTruth 1/4/2016

written by WhatisTruth

4th Jan 2016

I’m currently having some severe symptoms of anxiety (or which I think severe, but may not be so).
Feeling low again, extremely low..
I need someone to talk to.. someone to hug. I’m not even strong enough to cry right now.
I know I should go to a doctor for the satisfaction of my mind’s queries. I cannot answer them all by myself.
What should I do? What should I do??
Panic…. Panic….
I think my life is over. My life is literally over.
I’m telling honestly, from my heart.
I feel like I cannot cope with all the problems I have. My […]

1/4/2016 13 comments

I’m losing my mind

by Ylem 1/2/2016

written by Ylem

Really? Like really?
How the hell do I do this every day? I’m tired. I want to stop smiling. Nothing in me feels like smiling. Yet, when someone talks to me, I give them the warmest smile that makes it seem as though I’m okay.

How do I do this? I feel like I’ve been programmed to smile or something. Have I become that good at faking being okay and happy that I don’t even know how to shut it off anymore? I’m tired of faking now.

I just cried my eyes out while taking a bath. Then I get out, and I’m smiling like nothing happened. […]

1/2/2016 7 comments

End me

by Dungeon 1/2/2016

written by Dungeon

I can’t stand being alive, I fucking hate it. I hate my family, I hate living in this house, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without the thought of ending my useless self. When I wake up I’m in pain and even if I was able to fall asleep I get zero rest. Nothing gives me any sense of release. Cutting, drinking, smoking all make me feel worse. I’m so fucking alone. My room feels like a prison but its my only safe place. Only reason I haven’t tried offing myself again is because I know my dad would probably kill himself […]

1/2/2016 24 comments

My Husbands’ Suicide

by forever2004 12/31/2015

written by forever2004

It’s been 9months since my husband took his life. I’m broken, shattered, unable to move on. I go through the motions of living but I still feel it was yesterday when I found him lifeless. I think about leaving everyday. I am hopeless and helpless, I have no one to talk to or anybody that can understand how this feels. Maybe today is the day I need to leave this realm…

12/31/2015 20 comments

1 January

by Allitends 12/31/2015

written by Allitends

Im sorry fellows, i dont give a crap about new year or what ever people make up to celebrate, tomorrow is just another day. And yes every new day is the best day to start over.

I never did, i just used to take advantage (of the celebration ) to be with the person that i loved.

But now i really dont care.

But if i could wish something i could choose to get my heart stunned, so stunned that i wouldnt even bother try to talk or meet new friends, girls.. After all i lost all i wanted to be.

It is always an effort, and it feels […]

12/31/2015 2 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts