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4th post of my ending

by kbking6
written by kbking6

I’m not sure why my 2 previous posts were deleted explaining my life story..

after days of endless sleep research and planning .. it is just a matter of time and when before I end it.if all goes well… I end peacefully I’m at a stage where I feel so numb and I just don’t care about anything or anyone. I don’t know how to explain this feeling of emptiness. I really don’t care for my existence anymore. On one hand I feel sorry for what I will put my parents and my brother through… But it’s not like they care much anyway .. […]

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Suicide…Read This First Response

by darkestdays
written by darkestdays

Hello,
I just recently came across this site as I was in a broken state. I’ve taken hundreds of online depression quizzes and all seem to say the same thing…that I am severely depressed. Every time I bring up being tested to my mom, she makes it seem like it’s a big joke and laughs. It has never once got through to her that maybe something is wrong with me. People talk about me, “friends” don’t want to hang around me, my mother claims im a long list of words such as: ugly, fat, a pig, stupid, attention seeker, drama, dumb ass, retarded….. the […]

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The Boy Inside

by basefree
written by basefree

I’m 28 years old now but I’m still that timid and shy little kid I was since I can remember and I fucking hate it.

I’ve tried cognitive therapy, SSRIs and even self-improvement clubs and courses like Toastmasters, but to no avail. I just seize up and go blank when I’m supposed to talk to people, and don’t even get me started on trying to talk to women. I’m such a fucking loser.

It probably goes back to my strict upbringing where anxiety and fear were some of my earliest feelings. I’m just broken. When anyone engages me I shut down, shut off. This must […]

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8 years and counting

by thehusk
written by thehusk

I feel incredibly alone. I have no meaningful connections in my life. No one who knows who I really am. Because who I am is not ok. And I don’t know how to change it so that it would be ok. How to change what goes through my mind. And so I have to hide myself. Even from myself most of the time.

I want so desperately not to be this anymore. To be free of it. To be free of myself. But then there would be no me to be free. Is an end to all experience preferrable to this hole inside me? I guess […]

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What Keeps Me Here

by JustCallMeSam
written by JustCallMeSam

Destruction from the inside out.

That’s how it goes.

Living in this fear and doubt

in depths no one knows.

All that’s left is void.

A calling left unheard.

A person to avoid.

A person called absurd.

I thought there might be someone

who could lend a helping hand?

But now I think I’ve realized no one

really ever can.

My soul is too far gone;

but too afraid to leave.

There is no such bond

that I cannot but grieve.

No point in living;

only of that sorrow brings.

No point in dying;

only of that hope still sings.

I would have but one regret;

a seeing things workout.

But I would be long set

in the cold hard ground cast out.

A watching from far and near

of […]

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Go to bed wanting to die, wake up wanting to die

by rayonhousefly
written by rayonhousefly

That’s how it goes. I’m not looking for sympathy or empathy or anything really, just felt like finally posting something after being registered for such a long while and not doing anything with it.

My stories the same as most, severe depression since I was young, when my mom got injured at work and I basically lost her, at least in my mind how it felt. She was a single mom so with no one else there to help us, it was up to me to take care of everything. That wasn’t so bad really, I liked the responsibility.

Fast forward a few years, I’m 12 or […]

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And I Love Her

by rich51bruhh
written by rich51bruhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a8qBSxHUJY

I can never stop thinking. My thoughts just keep going and going and its wearing me down. I just seem to have these thoughts daily, its been the normal for a long time. For as long as I can remember, one that that goes through my head is my father. He passed away when I was only a year old and not a day goes by when I don’t think about him. Another thought, more of a memory, is the one that wears me down the most. Her. The one I have written about so many times. The one I have written about where […]

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Another night of not sleeping.

by thefreed
written by thefreed

Lately I have had insomnia (again). I mean I always liked not sleeping at night, guess I just liked the quiteness and tranquil aspect about it.

Yet too much crazy things are happening in my life. Do you guys ever feel like that?  How reality seems stranger than fiction, and not at all how like it used to be when you were a kid. I think I am going insane, or maybe I already am…

I don’t know why crazy things are always happening in my life. It’s more than just a coincidence. Like how my life panned out. It goes all the way to my grandfather, […]

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Imperfect Perfect Utopia

by Zetsumei
written by Zetsumei

I just watched a Let’s Play of Nevermind and it was interesting. It’s a game that uses biofeedback and the developer(s) want to expand it so it can help people with stress and anxiety-related illness. The game got me thinking about “perfect worlds” but I know there is no such thing as a “perfect world.”Instead, I want to pose a different question to everyone… What is your definition of an imperfect, perfect utopia? My utopia is one where mental illness and disease didn’t exist. Granted people will die in it but it won’t be by one’s own hands or by a fatal disease… It would […]

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leaving soon.

by ready_2_die
written by ready_2_die

I’ve decided Monday is the day. As soon as my son goes to school, I will leave to die. I was going to use pills, but, decided on a gun instead. I keep putting it off, because I think things will get better, but they don’t. I’m at peace knowing that I will be pain free in a few days. It’s nice to know that people will be relieved when I go. I won’t be a burden or annoyance anymore.

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I’m hurting so fucking bad

by nicole123
written by nicole123

No one understands this feeling . It drives me fucking insane because I can’t explain it. I feel like I’ve been sucked into darkness and I can’t get out of it. I feel like I’m starting to feel nothing and that scares me . I’d rather feel everything .. I am so alone . I’m so alone in this big world . There are so many people do why can’t I find a few that I can be friends with? I literally do not fit in with anyone . No one understand me . Know one listens to the music like I do , or […]

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You would have been 19

by nicole123
written by nicole123

image imageIt is sad to think that today you would have been 19.. I feel like people all around nd me die so young . Probably even for you all. Good souls are taken every day . Kids are being diagnosed with cancer at 2, people are being killed by terrorists, or even getting into a car accident . He died just a 2 months before […]

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Giving up is a good way to go.

Broken hearted

by coldredheart
written by coldredheart

I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. My deppresion feels so strong and I just want to self harm again to take away this pain I feel inside. I told this person how I really felt about him and we were really close friends and he led me on, but he told me that he was talking to someone else. I hope everything goes well with him and her but now I feel so heartbroken. I feol for him hard. now a fake smile is what plays outs on my face. What should I do?

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o_o

by jano.11
written by jano.11

I don’t really know what’s going on with my life and the people in it ..

it’s just like karma or table turning .. or what’s goes around comes a round or just lying .. someone I worked really hard to .. and he was so mean and filled with hatred espicaly for me .. now he is so good to me .. and I just can’t believe him .!!!

is it me the one who gots something wrong with or what .!!

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Mistakes I commonly make.

by thelost
written by thelost

This isn’t about self pity, and this isn’t about what brings me down each day. Because if I could tell you what was wrong with me, I wouldn’t be on this site. I’m just naming some things I’ve done wrong that I seem to keep doing.

I’m too brutal. Little bit of a joke for you metal fans out there, but what I mean is that sometimes I’m a little too upfront and frank about how I feel. An example of this is when I liked this certain girl, and she’s really shy, too dumb to notice that though. So I went about my normal, honest, […]

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Losing It All At Once

by abgctb14
written by abgctb14

Hello all, this is my first post..and it just so happens that I am a horrible writer. But, here goes. I am 19 years of age. My birthday is a month away. I’m not even excited about it. The one thing that I looked forward to everyday was waking up to see the love of my life. But ever since last year, depression has had a toll on both of us…we have a beautiful 9 month old son. He is my everything. I just can’t imagine my life without his dad. Last year around Christmas, it was he who tried to commit suicide. […]

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Empty..

by FreakOfNature
written by FreakOfNature

I just feel so empty..I’m so tired of the same bullshit lines.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s a phase, it’ll pass.”

“It get’s better.”

It doesn’t fucking feel like it. Nothing will ever be okay. I’m just a waste of space and I have no purpose on this planet. I wish I could just disappear. I wish death was an easy process because this life doesn’t seem worth living. No one honestly gives a shit. I tried to reach out for help but I’m just laughed at. Ignored even.

“You don’t even have anything to be depressed about.”

“Just get over it.”

I wish it was that easy. I hate feeling this way. I […]

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pain

by melodychild
written by melodychild

theres always pain, sometimes it goes away but only for an hour or so. it hurts too much to be alive. I hate that I have to wait a week or two before I end it. my friends birthday is coming up and it would just be cruel to ruin it, so here I am wasting away.

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