I’ve never posted anything like this before. I have been battling depression for what seems like forever. Feels like I am dragging a boat anchor around everyday all day. I lost a good job, (my only means of financial support), sold my car to make my rent payments etc. Looks like i will be evicted in 2 weeks. Financially I am out if options. Not sure where to go or what to do. I’ve previously sought help and was prescribed med but can no longer afford the therapy. I feel like I am done. Exhausted and wrecked. […]
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Here I sat on a bench on a lonely night. The city is busy as it always is, millions of people going through their daily lives. Young couples walking hand in hand through. Others like me walking in solitude, sounds of a festival of some sort sounding in the distance. The stars shining their strange otherworldly glow, a perfect sight to behold. Too bad it’s spent in lonliness I thought to myself. And then she came to me, as I laid eyes on her face, I was mesmerized. Love at first sight, she asked my name and I told her. Then she said, I’m Maria, […]
My wife and I began our relationship 16 years ago. It was the best time of my life, literally. ..in love, being loved. Words can’t express. But if you’ve been there, you know what I’m speaking of. As the years have passed we’ve taken the route that many couples have- marriage, children, etc. Somewhere in this I hAve lost her affection. Her quickness to anger and the feelings of revulsion I feel coming from her to me are breaking me down. I always took such comfort in knowing that we would grow old together…that I would spend my years with my best friend and the […]
This is my final post on here, I thought it would help me. Some of the people on here are really helpful. But I know my decision now. I will go away, in a sense. I have issues befriending people. In the end however they leave, that’s ok though. They are forgiven. So is everyone else who has caused me pain, you are forgiven. I am now at peace, I feel no more pain. I have dreaded posting this, because I felt that maybe hope was somewhere. But certain events today proved to me otherwise. I know that there is no other way. I’ve no […]
I don’t often post on forums or anywhere online. I’ve always kept everything to myself. I don’t really do any sharing about myself, to anyone. I don’t like drawing attention to myself. I’m not very social, I don’t like to go out. Being out and around others makes me incredibly tense and anxious. Even over the phone, or texts, facebook, email, etc. I just dont like people I guess. I have one person I love and care about. I don’t really have close friends, I’ve been estranged and was banished from my family for about a decade.
I grew up with an adoptive family who appeared […]
I don’t know if is worth being alive because of two things:
1) Mi career has pushed me away from what I wish the most… Someone to love, take care of and make a family with. Grow together, look up for our kids and love them forever.
2) The only person that saw the good in me is no longer here. She left me for someone else. She stopped believing in me. In 24 years no one dared to see in the deepest part of me and love me unconditionally. She wasn’t able to understand the illness that haunted me before she came in. With her I […]
I don’t really have problems. My life is pretty awesome. I am surrounded by people who love me, I am likable, I am cute, and I make other people happy. I can’t really ask for more.
But there is a hollowness to all of it. An emptiness that I have felt for many years. And under that, a pain that I have been pushing down and burying deep, deep inside.
I don’t know why it hurts, just that it always has. When I think about it, I can feel it. I’m always aware of it. This terrible sucking, aching, vacuous throbbing that beats inside my chest and […]
I am lizzy, a 32 years old woman.one month back, I had a good job.i was happy with my life and job.everything was fair and well, until a good looking guy joined my office on a high rank and started liking(?) me for no reason.most of my female colleagues ( married and unmarried)fell for him except me.when they found he was paying attention to me, they become furious and started to misbehave.
Last month i had to resign from my job for their grudge.i lost my job just because of him,inspite of being a prized employee.now i am jobless,tried many places but failed.that divorce awaiting guy now […]
If I were to commit suicide heres my note. I don’t want to but nows a perfect time. I have nothing to look forward to and school just ended for the year. I want to start with my parents thank you for ignoring me and taking favor of my sister instead of me and for never being there for me and always yelling at me to make me feel worse. You definitely know how to teach me how to sacrifice all the things I want in life just for your sake and you don’t even know it. Thank you to my sister for discriminating against what […]
On one of the spectrum, I am a depressive martyr, thinking thoughts of suicide 60% of the time. Hoping that a small fragment of happiness will bless my broken life. I still have hope that maybe one day it will change. I have found out that if you sit and wait for good things to happen, it usually never does, but I have also discovered when I try to make good things happen to me, it blows up in my face and I’m worse off than before. I don’t know why I came back here, did I thought it was going to make me feel […]
Speaking from personal experience, I’ve come to the conclusion you can get yourself out of depression .. without therapy or antidepressants
I’ve made a lot of progress since late 2011 – early 2012 .. back then I was very depressed with suicidal thoughts
I felt depleted of energy throughout the day regardless of how long I had stayed in bed
I remember that one time, I tried doing pushups but couldn’t find the strength .. leaving this world was the one and only thing that truly resonated with me, everything else was just blah
these days, I feel good most of the time and I experience levels […]
I was here years ago ranting about how worthless my life was and how much I wanted it over. My life never got better it’s worse now. I’m looked down upon by everyone, I have no friends, I cry myself to sleep every night. I can’t get a girlfriend at all. I want love, happiness and joy but yet it has still avoided me. Nothing in my life has ever gone right, it feels like on the rare occasion I have a happy day, the next day is a completely depressing day. My car I just bought is broke down, several best friends abandoned me, […]
I like to think i do more good than harm.
When you feel like your trying so hard to hold it together, sometimes you just give up.
I haven’t self harmed in a long while.
Maybe I turned that aggression outwards instead.
We all have bad days. They get better.
not much better.
but better every day.
hi I just made this account. My name is julia I love in a small nobody town with good friends asshole parents and school sucks. I’m 15 I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I take Zoloft everyday so I can function without freaking out. I self harm I was just 144 days clean but broke it today. I’ve been good for the most part but only because I’ve been pushing all my feelings and responsibilities away. I have d’s and c’s in every class except for gym and the only reaywhy I’m doing well in gym is because my teacher is a creep […]
That on my last night, I will be taking down a child molester. Yes maybe they were molested themselves, but they can’t keep on passing it down. I will do something good in my last moments.
How do I do this? How do I say the things I want to? My whole life I’ve been told I come second- to everyone and everything else. Not even second, dead last.
I’ll never be good enough for anyone, no matter what.
I’m just a mistake. A failure. I’ve tried so hard, but I’ll never make it. I’m too lazy and stupid and selfish and stubborn.
I’m not a good person, at least not anymore.
People might have called me kind once upon a time, but that’s long since been replaced by ‘cruel’ and ‘arrogant’.
Heck, I […]
I’m sorry that I’m writing this I feel like I have no right to be here. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t get a job and I dream of getting a job that works with children but I have no experience in the work place. I look like a child even though I’m 21 have tons of scars on my face and can’t get a date. My college won’t let me into the school of education because I can’t interview well and because of me freaking out because over classes because I have nothing else to live for.
I doubt I will […]
http://youtu.be/fNx2Fmdp-4Y
Hi,
I’ve decided I’m going to end my life in just under 14 days. That’s fairly soon, but it’s my time to go… and we all know that when it’s time – it’s time. But first, a little about me:
I’m 26 years old, worked a job like no other and had been married for three years. I left my old job and ended up working in construction and telecommunications for a time, before meeting the supposed “love of my life”. Not many people escape my old job, but I managed to. I didn’t let it change me and a voice in my head reminds me that […]
I woke up quite early today, thought I’d grab the chance to enjoy The Witcher 3.. Turns out I should of slept away half the day instead. I dont know how but my most recent ex came into mind, its been over half a year but still.. Such happy memories, how can I possibly stop comparing what I am now, what I have now, with what I once had… Im over her, but I would like.. this kind of happiness again, with someone else.. anyway I know throughout our lifetime on this miserable planet we have our ups and downs, I’d like an elevator lift […]
It’s a funny thing blackmail, they take something you have and force you to exchange something else that you have.
It’s purely threats, they could have information or photos of you and they threaten to show the world, even though it could get them in trouble. If you aren’t strong enough, you’re basically their slave.
Recently I’ve been a victim of blackmail and I’ll tell you this, it’s ruining my life. I feel worthless everyday, it’s forced my friends away from me and overall it’s made my depression so much worse. I’ve never been good at maintaining a good and healthy mental condition, now I feel as […]