Here lately it seems like everything is going wrong. I’m having to fork out hundreds of dollars I don’t have on shit that shouldn’t be breaking. Appliances, computers, car, etc. everybody keeps fucking telling me “God only gives you what you can handle.” Well ya know what? Fuck that shit. I can’t handle being so damn broke I’m now thousands in debt. I can’t handle wondering if I’m gonna have enough left after fucking bills to feed my child. I can’t fucking handle people telling me this shit. I can’t fucking handle people telling me to be grateful. Fuck. I am grateful for the things […]
Tag:
grateful
i’ve had many things taken from me throughout my life…
mother/father: robbed me of safety, acceptance, and unconditional love, i never stood a chance with the two of you
molester: robbed me of a childhood, feelings of worth and value
rapists: robbed me of dignity and pride
myself: robbed me of peace and tranquility
but you… nothing compares to what you have done… you stripped me bare, consumed me body and soul only to regurgitate it back in my face with a look of disgust only to say– not what i want… you leave me crumbled, a pile of used discarded remnants of something that was at some point […]
I’ve come a long way since I was younger. The last years of my life have been filled with travel, education, and growth. Even though it was good, I still felt like I didn’t want to stick around. I stomached it and tried to make myself happy anyway, because there were times where I was honest to god glad to be alive.
It would suck if I never stopped feeling like this though. Objectively speaking, I’m at the top of the world. I have everything that I could want and I try to dedicate time out of everyday to be grateful for it, but sometimes I […]
First, I fully admit that this is childish and stupid, but it pisses me the hell off, so I’m going to write about it. (In retrospect, I think I got mad about the same thing last year – there’s a fucking suprise.)
Friday was my birthday. As with every other year, no one remembered other than my parents. (Which I am grateful for – they’re getting up there in years and my mom is terminally ill, so it meant a lot.) But, what makes me mad is that I have “friends”. I call these friends, I try to be there, to listen, to help out, etc. […]
dear sp, MERRY WHATEVERYOUCELEBRATE to you. may this day provide the magic and peace that we deserve. how grateful i am to all of you for the help you provided. even the angry, in-your-face ones. sorry for laughing but that was ME not too long ago. i plan to stay with sp, however things turn out for me. you have become a really close friend, and i look forward to the time i spend here. truly an interesting cast of characters from around the world. i, too am alone on this day of celebration. and perfectly content with that. pull up an extra chair. i […]
I had a night of wild dreams. Sometimes I wish I could just keep sleeping. Today I have some decisions to make and I’m not sure where to go. I feel lonely and confused about what is the best way to go. Do I stay where I am or move closer to family? I am anxious but grateful for all the help today.
I am on a medicine that has major side effects. It helps me sleep and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I think the doc and therapist are helping at the same time I think they are in cahoots together. I have to remember I’m not a bad person just a sick person trying to get well. Any thoughts about this concept?
this past week has been good to me. i should be very grateful for the people in my life who seem to care about me–but i’m not. (i’m still more grateful for the people i like who i am not sure even like me back as a person. whenever they give me the time of day it feels as though they’re doing me a great service that i should be appreciative of, and i am.) yesterday was such an amazing day. i finally got what i’ve been wanting for months now, and i finally got to hug him (no one else’s hugs matter compared to […]
I feel rejected by the outside world. I am not sure where I fit in anymore. I am very sad today and hurt because I am not the same person I was before a couple weeks ago after my attempt. I am grateful to be here but I’m very lonely and confused. If anyone can help I would appreciate knowing how you came to accept your life. I am part of a community that believes I relapsed but even admitting that I still feel depressed and crazy in my head. What can I do?
has come and gone and I still can’t believe any of it. Exactly a year ago I was in a very shitty relationship that was falling apart and taking me down with it. I can’t believe that it finally ended especially the way everything has gone down. I also can’t believe that in two months I will have had a close friendship with someone for an entire year. That person whether they meant to help me or not did more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for that, for them and everything that they have done. I am sad because these […]
i am a writer currently working on a story loosely based on virginia woolfs’ suicide. if anyone has any suggestions i would be past grateful for them
I have listened to the advice given on my last post, which was quite a while ago. I have been hoping that getting another dog would make me more happy. I believe that she has. She loves me and I love her. The sad part is that she is my only true friend in this world. At the same time I have been trying to chat to women my own age. They do not seem to be interested in me. The only women who are would be very young women. They do not need to be with me because they have their whole life ahead […]
I am grateful for all of the advice and help in my life but it was not enough. I hope that in death you will find my last deed a great one. I don’t know how they will find this page but I hope it sends the message. Suicide Savers is what I’d like the project to be call. I’d like the funds to start a company that will fund, clothe, and shelter those who have lost everything to depression and/or mental illness. Peace and love my friends.
http://www.gofundme.com/ff5xg8
I am 16 years old, my life is going really well, I have every reason to be happy but I’m not. I don’t know why I’m not happy I have no reason to be sad or depressed. I just feel like I want to die, I feel dead inside and I don’t know why and I don’t know what to do. I feel so stupid for feeling this way but I can’t make it go away. I haven’t talked to anyone about the way I’m feeling because I feel if I do they will tell me to stop being so stupid. I have self harmed […]
I need help understanding what is wrong with me because I only recently have been feeling more an more worse each day. If someone is out there to just hear me out and help me solve the issue, I would be so grateful. I can’t really afford therapy let alone tell my parents. Also I’m 18 if you were wondering.
I’ve noticed something about this site. Maybe it’s not so much the site but the people behind the aliases – when someone posts here and we pick up the notion that they are serious about going through with ending their life or at the least in very significant pain and anguish we rally around them like elephants do when a pack member is in distress.
I don’t use the analogy of elephants in a negative way – in fact to the contrary. What they do is born of compassion, of high intuition and empathy; it is a matter of survival for all. Most of us are […]
I’m May, and turning 15 this year. Just your typical teenager with normal problems like depression. Haihh. I don’t know where to start. I think I’m being selfish by having problems cause I have shelter, food, clothes, and everything. Well, that’s what my “friend” says. That I should be grateful. I have been thinking about suicide. But I don’t have the guts to do so. I love my grandma to bits and would do anything for her. I’m kind of a loner since I don’t have a friend I could trust. I have acquaintances at school, people I talk to and pretend to […]
I swear I can’t get mad at people, I get mad at myself instead when they let me down or do something wrong because of course it would have to be my fault and I am getting what I deserve. There is a person in my life with several issues but I accept them for who they are or who I wanted to believe they are. It’s like no matter how they treat me I tell myself they are doing the best they can and I need lighten up. I feel humiliated for what I tolerate. Is mutual respect really too much to ask for? […]
Hello again. It’s been a long time, three or four years I think, since I was last here. I’m grateful for the rest at least.
I’ve fallen back into old thoughts, old habits. It’s scary how easy it is. Maybe ‘comfortable’ is the wrong word but it’s so … I don’t know it’s like shrugging on that threadbare jacket at the back of the closet the one you never wear in public but the one that makes you feel right. And the pressure is held back for a time because I know how to work within these boundaries, these battle lines are familiar. It’s me against […]
I think about it all the time… at least a few times a day. Suicide. I dont think about how it would affect others.. i dont think about anything but myself. But i never seem to care. I want it so bad in so many different ways. But then i see this kid.. i see how their family and friends are effected. How sad it makes everybody and how much it makes other ppl appreciate their lives and their friends and families lives. Its a curse and a blessing at the same time. It doesnt make me want to end things any less, but it […]