I am a 20 Year Old That Had a Rough Life I have Watch A Dog Die of Poison That Not Many People Know How I Felt When it Happened and I Watched My Mum Have a Heartattack and I Still Get The Blame Till This Very Day and I have Been Around Drunken Violent Brothers and I have Watched My Friends and Been Bullied and Cyber Bullied and I have Always Been There For Them And I Have Had To say Goodbye To My Black Cat That I Loved Like a Daughter and I have Watched My 2 Guinie Pigs Die and I am […]
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Great Friends
I’ve thought about taking my life so many times. I know some say it’s the cowards way out and that someone always has it worse than me – Truth is, I’m just so fed up. I’m exhausted. It’s like things are so bad I just don’t even feel like getting out of bed. I have great friends but I just have so many emotional issues that even hanging out with them seems like a chore.
I was sexually molested and abused continuously when I was young. I didn’t even know to tell or what to do. My mom found out because there was blood in my […]
Been cutting since I was 15 (7 1/2 years). Never thought I would do it, once I started, never thought I would stop. I finally stopped. Went over a year without cutting, then relapsed, then stayed “clean” then relapsed then stayed “clean” then relapse and so on and so on. I will always be an addict to this stupid thing that controls me. I crave the feel of it, the release it gives me. I know I should have control over it, especially by now, but I cant help but want to give into it. I am still and always will be a depressed person, […]
Well, I’m a newcomer. I’ve read, and commented on a couple of posts and I’m actually kind of…well…not ‘happy’ that I found this site but, more intrigued. I’m 14, 10th grade, and I’ve already found my depression. Even when I get out of it and go to my ‘happy music’ (which is basically rave and happy hardcore), I find myself slowly slipping back into the dark emo cutting phase. and don’t get mad at the word emo. It’s how I describe myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends who are there for me, but I just don’t know what it is that pulls me […]
First let me star off by saying that I am not planning on committing suicide right now. I just do not want to get to that point. I do not know how to express what I am feeling, but I will try to the best of my ability to describe it. I just feel lost, I do not want to do anything anymore. I do not want to move anymore, but I do not want to stay still. I want to live, but I do not want to keep trying to endure this suffering. I have a good family and great friends, just my views […]
I’ve said a million times that I would rather be beat up than to hurt emotionally, but it never seems to work out that way. As I found out on Thursday night, even if you are beat up physically, your heart will still hurt.
I am not getting any younger. I am 29, I have a seemingly great life; I have a full time job at a great company, I have a wonderful apartment near my job, I have my two cats that I live with, some great friends, a supportive family… But there is one thing missing – a relationship with myself.
I am constantly trying […]
Some say it’s a beautiful lie, others say it’s a horrible lie…But I agree with the horrible lie…How happy I act…I guess this is why I am going to be an actor when I am older…no matter how happy I look…inside…my heart is crushed and my soul is shattered…I am really hurt…and somehow…I have these five great friends and a therapist…along with a great teacher…but this just…hurts…
I’m 13 year old girl and in 7th grade. I’m a loner and I’m very depressed. Everyday I have to go and come from school. When I come home from school all I do is yell at my parents and cuss. I have never been thankful for what they bought me and did for me… All I do is make them sad and angry. When I don’t get the things I want I yell at them and then we quarrel. After that I go in my room, shut the door and cry. I realize how childish and greedy I am but it’s not just because […]
Things were supposed to get better. I’ve made great friends here on SP and even have a ‘special someone’ in my life.
But of course, last night it all came crashing down. There are no words to describe how broken I am now. My heart aches more than it ever has. I’m tired of hurting people. My life will never let me be ok. I’m back to the mirror and I hate standing here. I hate looking at this person. I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe. I’m dirty again and now I have the blood of the only people I had left on my […]
Has anyone ever felt as if they are just waiting to die? I have a job, great friends who love me, and no REAL reason to not enjoy life. I just cannot seem to get past this feeling that I have accomplished all I am going to, nothing interests me, and I am just wasting time until I die. Would love to come to terms with this and possibly get past it. I have done the therapy thing but to be honest it just seems to aggrivate me, being asked the same questions over and over. Any input, from anyone, is welcome. I have edited […]
I’m 16
I’m a Junior in High school
I’m a cheerleader
A straight A student
A softball, basketball, and volley player
On color guard
Have great friends
An amazing boyfriend
I should be happy right?
I’m not
Why?
I have a secret
A secret that hurts me so bad
I don’t want to live
I was raped by my stepdad
from the time I was 9 until I turned 13
I feel dirty
I feel worthless
I feel responsible
I feel damaged
I feel broken
I feel ugly
I feel pain
But I keep smiling
Because I don’t know what else to do
I don’t tell that I cry myself to sleep every night
That I have nightmares
That I’m scared to be alone
That I want to die
My name is Whitney
I seem happy…..
Right?
It is difficult to pretend
Just watch these strangers
Who used to be really great friends
The quietness
The loneliness
The awkward gestures
The familiar faces
The memories
The guilt
The shame
Wanting to say hey
Hoping for a long conversation
Time
Every second
Every hour
Every day
Every fight trying to save the friendship
Every arguement just creates the situation worse
Tired of trying sometimes
It’s hard to pretend
Just watch those strangers
Whom used to be really great friends
The quietness
The loneliness
The awkward gestures
The familiar faces
Mostly…
The memories
The guilt…
The shame…
Wanting to say hey
Wanting to share a long conversation
… Changes…
Every second
Every hour
Every day
Every time
Every fight trying to save the friendship
Every arguement just creates the situation worse
Tired
Tired of trying sometimes…
Ive been trying to get help from my so called friends for so long but its useless. Im pretty sure I just lost one by telling her about being suicidal. She told me she couldnt take the stress I was giving her and that I was burdening her with my depression. I have like three friends now and I feel horrible for messing up someone’s life with my problems. I dont get it, I thought when you needed help you were supposed to be able to ask your friends for it. So here I am in my downward spiral with its ever increasing slope, I […]
I just let my two friends read my first post. They both showed me that maybe there is hope for me. N o I am not cured from this disese but they will make it better. They try to give me anti depressants and I have stop taking them cause they do no good. I have so much depression and my friends relize this and want to be there for me. I feel good knowing someone is there to be with me whn I am crying non stop.I hope that nothing ever happens to tthem. I would fall aoart and would definatly not be here […]
Okay,here goes.
My names murron mackay,incase you hadn’t guessed by my username, and today I was searching on the internet about getting help on being suicidal, and I stumbled on this website. I had a look through and thought I would add my story. It’s nothing huge, infact compared to most of the stories on here, it’s like nothing. But anyway, in a nutshell, here is my story.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a family, a roof over my head and even a boyfriend, and i know what you’s are all thinking, ‘Selfish *****’ etc etc..But before you judge, please read this blog and hear me […]
It bothers me when people who are living a perfectly normal life with no problems whatsoever say they’re suicidal. To me, saying you’re suicidal isn’t a joke at all. If you have nothing to be angry about life, why should you joke around with the meaning? I been suicidal since I was 12 but you know what, I’m trying my best to not do anything stupid. Living with my family isn’t the best place to be right now because there is constantly arguing and fighting going on while I have so called “friends” who are never there when I need them and whom only cares […]
On the outside I’m like everyone else.. Something people envy. A high school cheerleader, soccer player, straight A student, and have great friends… But it’s not that simple!
Every day I get taunted by people I get told I’ll never be good enough I’ll never be in their crowd. I try not to let it show but it’s hard I’ve worked so hard to get people to like and accept me. I spend so much money on designer clothes and the new shoes.. But it’s not good enough I stand in the hallway with hundreds of kids around me yet I feel more alone than ever. […]
 I wish I could turn a clock and go back to the day before I was born. I wish I could make my mom and dad to change their minds and not have another child.
Now I am hanging here, trying to keep up whit life. I always end up crashing down. It´s funny that I know that I can never commit suicide but I´m thinking about death awfully lot.
I just wish that I could be someone else- someone who could just smile and be happy, someone who didn’t care that there is no sense on this world, someone who would just enjoy the fact of […]
No one knows that I feel this way. Â It’s not even consistent. Â Except for being tired almost all day, everyday. Â Random occurrences here and there. Â That’s pretty much it. Â I have no reason to even be thinking like this but I can’t escape the pain I have. Â I have great friends, a loving family, but it doesn’t matter. Â I’m only 16 and the thought of taking my life is getting more and more appealing. Â What am I thinking? Â Is this normal? Â Reading all of these stories makes me feel like an attention seeker for not even having a reason to feel this way, but I’m […]
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