That’s it, unless something sudden and dramatic happens that changes the way I feel (like my mum and brother die in a car crash – I cam dream) I am going to do it. I can’t actually get myself to say what I am doing because I see it as falling asleep, only you never wake up. It’s peaceful and calming, its freedom and happiness all in one. The ‘S’ word used to describe it sounds malicious and destructive, so I’m going to fall asleep, pass away peacefully. Thank you for all your support and I hope that someone out their can help you.
Tag:
Happiness
I like to smile,alot actually and you know what? I love when people smile and when they’re happy it’s sorta like i feed off of people’s happiness.I smile at everyone,I smile and say thank you to everyone because the way i see it,maybe that person was feeling under-appreciated,sad or just like it wasn’t worth it anymore and then you come along and flash them this great big smile and say “thank you” or anything won’t it brighten there day alittle? I hope so. Whenever i see a sad status on Facebook or anyone who looks like they’re in a bad mood,i do all i can […]
How do you heal from a broken heart?
Most people would say time but it has been 22 years and the pain is still raw.
Knowing what you have to do and doing it is 2 very different things.
I know I’m the only one who can allow myself to heal but don’t seem to know how to do it.
I know looking at the past I miss out on the now and the future.
I know remembering what I haven’t got or miss instead of looking at what I do have robs me of happiness.
Yet I seem unable to let go of my […]
I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.” Â That’s what I feel like.
I have no hope. Â None. Â I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person. Â Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting. Â It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends. Â Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark. Â I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]
The name of the post kind of says it all, I was so sure I wanted to die. Up to the point where I had everything planned and ready, down to the exit bag made and the helium under my bed. I felt happy and in some ways free at the thought I would die. And although I still wish I would die in my sleep or fall of a cliff or something I do not feel ready to take my own life.
It started about two days ago, I was sat watching TV when I saw a women with her three children. They were the […]
It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.
I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
turning my pain into something creative, and made a music video. watch please.
My bad attitude caused by frustration and self hatred has pushed those who used to care about me far far away. I know we’re all alone no matter what, but it kills me not to have at least that illusion making us feel as though we are not alone. I started cutting a few days ago and each day the  cut gets a  little deeper. I was just looking for a distraction from my emotional pain. I haven’t felt happiness all year. I’m beginning to question if there even is a possibility for me to feel happiness again. I used to rely on strangers to […]
Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context. Â http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/
I’m still here. Â Not much of an accomplishment really. Â Still depressed. Â Still having very suicidal thoughts. Â Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.
My ex and I were friends. Â The she just stopped returning my texts. Â I didn’t know why. Â Still not sure I do. Â About three weeks ago. Â I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on. Â All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes. Â I admit that sometimes this […]
im here still. i’d say im better, but now im confused maybe i was never depressed no i am i can feel it. life has gotten better but not good enough to earase my depression. i think i might have slipped out of my own world for a little bit im sure i’ll fall back but im trying to enjoy life as much as i can while im feeling this some sorta happiness. then i realized i want thing: for the world to be happy the way i am too.
There are only two things in life. Success and failure. Call them as you will, happiness and discontentment, power and disinfluence, or fame or obscurity. There is only one thing after life. Death. To those who want it, it comes too late. To those who don’t, it comes too soon. Life is the long winding road to death. After our deaths comes the death of all who we know, and then the death of all who they have ever met and so on. The chance that everyone you have ever influenced will be dead increases over time. But you already know that. We delude ourselves […]
Sometimes I want to just end it all. Everything seems so hard for me to cope with.. And having absolutley noone that underdtands me makes it worse. People think and say I shouldnt be so dowm, and depressed all the time but, I can’t just stop. I’m a messed up teenage girl, Can anyone Redefine Happiness..??
This quote is in several articles online about happiness.
“First, your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. “
Which can sort of be related to the Matrix quote
Agent Smith: “Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming […]
I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy.
I have no real friends that I can talk to anymore and I have no idea what I truly want to do or where my life is going. I went to college and I have a stable job. But I didn’t make it in life. I am an average person; I am a loser. I wake up, go to work, eat, shower, watch TV, eat, read a book, sleep—repeat. That’s it. Nothing spectacular but nothing that miserable.
I am afraid this is my life. This is it. There is nothing more.
I no longer have any real desire. […]
I don’t know why but today I felt hopeful and optimistic and confident.
And while the world has thrown some good social interaction at me today, I am bombarded with this crippling discouragement. In any other way, she would react like everyone else today, accepting! But no matter how many people laugh with me, or are nice to me today, she is mentally pushing me aside.
Why? Why can’t my good feelings be rewarded? I don’t want to be depressed again, and yet, whenever I am happy I become attacked.
I need help! I feel I’m in the inbetween, and I don’t want to drown again! Please don’t […]
I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
Never thought I would be on a site like this. But you people would understand the most, or maybe not. You wouldn’t actually know what I go through, or much less what anyone else goes through. You have no idea of what goes on in people’s real thoughts, their real emotions, struggles, and actions. All you can really do is just read along and try to find a connection, a answer to whats ailing you, a hope that the person that wrote this would find a answer themselves, a answer that would cure the damages inflicted on you. But I’ll tell you this, they’re no […]