Tag:

Heart

To hide the pain, the feelings, the urge to slice at my own skin.

by BrooklynBoxx 1/10/2013

written by BrooklynBoxx

IÂ sit there in the cafeteria

He sits on the floor he’s talking i cant hear him, my visions bluring black around the edges

I’m brought back because of an intense pain from my hand, my ex boyfriend yet again had bit me, i know he just flirting… that he’s only using me..

I smile laughing telling him it doesnt hurt, he doesnt realise he saved me from another embaressing seizure, he smiles biting my harder i ignore it typing on the computer with my left hand as i try to complete a school project. He lets go and we sit their for a while. I feel him bite […]

1/10/2013 6 comments

Tired

by isasays 1/10/2013

written by isasays

I don’t exactly know how I came across this website. Maybe it’s because I’m considering suicide. Maybe because I’m tired of living. I’m tired of everything that is happening around me. I’m tired of disappointing the people close to me. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of crying. And most importantly, I’m tired of myself.

I may be young to be considering committing suicide but that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. I’m tired of hurting the people I love. I’d rather be hurt than them. I want all the pain to come to me, all […]

1/10/2013 15 comments

Next week…

by MichelleJ 1/10/2013

written by MichelleJ

If all goes well, I’ll be all right. If not, I’m gonna plan when to kill myself. What if I don’t do it? That’ll be decided when I put my plan into action. I won’t do it in my own home, I’ll do it at the person’s place, who I wish to spite, because they laughed at me today when I was telling my doctor something serious. So, if I choose to euthanise myself, it’ll be at their house, so that if they get time to save me, they can call the ambulance, and maybe they’ll feel less psychopathic towards me. Then again, affter this […]

1/10/2013 2 comments

Tried to take 70 pills, cops stopped me.

by Eschaton 1/5/2013

written by Eschaton

Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.

My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:

Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia (still […]

1/5/2013 2 comments

You can’t say I didn’t try!

by catfreak 1/4/2013

written by catfreak

I’m exhausted. January 2nd was my date. All set then I had a psych assessment appt come through so I thought I’d move it to the 3rd… Then a job interview on the 4th ok so the 4th is my day. Fucks sake! How do you people not notice? A psych evaluation where I pour my heart out about how I’m not going to be here next week and still evokes nothing? Why am I surprised tho? This system has failed me so many times so I should know right? Wrong, my selfish, self involved side took over and thought someone would give a […]

1/4/2013 2 comments

Goodbye my hatred

by lostchild445 1/4/2013

written by lostchild445

half poem half rant.

I asked for one night
Just one night where I could show you my pain
To explain myself, to apologize for the way I’ve been
But you wouldn’t give me that
Not that one single piece of reconciliation
You feel so high and mighty
On that pedestal you’ve placed yourself upon
With my best friends tongue down your throat
You said it yourself.
Â I can’t be fixed.
So I’m done trying. I’m done caring. I’m done feeling. I’m done living.
Maybe ill fail once more, end up in a hospital bed somewhere with needles in my arm
But maybe for once in my life I won’t fuck something up and this time not wake […]

1/4/2013 0 comment

HURT and BROKEN and IN MY MIND ITS RAINING

by fakingit 1/2/2013

written by fakingit

i dont know what i want. no one cares at all. im not even all that pretty, which proves im not loved just used. how many times am i ganna try suicide til i succeed? probably countless cuz i obviously suck at trying. my family hates me..thats not even a question..they really do. i want someone to listen to me. and when i say im upset to actually listen not ignore me cuz it upsets them. i want someone who will stay by my side no matter what happens. cuz i need them more then they know. my life was getting better now its spiraling […]

1/2/2013 0 comment

Gone, But new.

by theblackpool13 1/2/2013

written by theblackpool13

I’m alone. Sad, tired of trying, of living. Tired of waking Â up to a bright happy world, and seeing nothingÂ exceptÂ grey, and things only I can see, hearing sounds of joy, but only hearing the voices of myÂ despair. Franks gone now. Replaced, forgotten. Austins here. He’s just as bad. Eyes areÂ staring, watching with a pointedÂ loadedÂ gun, Â or a knife waiting for the right time. I am forgotten, none cares for the sake of me, waiting for the right time. 17. The magic number. 15, countdown. They say if I die, I’ll be back in my world, back in Hallaqu, with Austin, and Goob, Frank, and 200. My […]

1/2/2013 0 comment

So tired

by still here 12/30/2012

written by still here

I am so done with being here my life is in a constant state of a downward spiral. I’m alone and I can’t take it anymore. Love will never be in my reach I am unlovable and my heart seeks what it shall never have

12/30/2012 8 comments

Chains of bondage

by Harley Quinnlette 12/30/2012

written by Harley Quinnlette

Dark, suffocating darkness, no light
Despairing place with no way out
Chained to a wall inside this putrid place
No hope of happiness coming soon.
So lonely, so very lonely
A body lies beside, but itâ€™s cold
This person is cold, cold of heart
No emotions presents
No comfort, no support, no encouraging words
Only radiating hatred, to keep you where you are.
So lonely, so very lonely.
Chained to this place with a cold person
A person you once knew
A person you once loved
A person you once called your love.
A person who no longer loves you
A person who no longer […]

12/30/2012 0 comment

every day I find myself trying to convince…myself

by teraeliz 12/29/2012

written by teraeliz

I’m a gun owner and literally every day I spend the day convincing myself not to pull the trigger. I’m a single mom that had a pretty crappy life. I’m adopted but the family who adopted me is crazy. My mother is the worst. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with her mentally but something is definitely wrong. Not only have I wished myself dead a few times but she has too. I’ve always thought she hated me by things she would say and fights she would get in with my dad when he would defend me. She’s always been jealous of me because […]

12/29/2012 5 comments

My Depression: The real reasons…

by CryingForHelp 12/29/2012

written by CryingForHelp

Hi, I’m Destanie. I’m 15 years old. I turn 16 in May, but I don’t think I’m going to make it to see my birthday. Here’s why….

Back in June of 2012 i fell in love with this guy Tyler. He gave me the happiness I needed. He made me feel loved and wanted. We started dating but it only lasted about a week. For 3-4 months after that, I kept trying to tell him I still loved him. Finally he started talking to me again and I told him.. He told me he still loved me too and that he wants to make things right. […]

12/29/2012 10 comments

figure these figures out or die

by heima 12/28/2012

written by heima

Do you live in circles too? Maybe squares or smth?

I live in little, tiny suicide circles. Soon enough everything comes back to it. And I’ve even found a decent way to do it, with pills that simply make your heart stop, if overdosed. It seems so unbelievably simple. I understand that it wouldn’t be painless Â etc, but the fact of death – the possibility of dying to my damaged brain seems like a miracle, something magical.

There’s nothing for me here. I’m really ugly and not the only one who thinks that way, so it’s not my imagination. And, as you know, beauty in this world […]

12/28/2012 4 comments

If they only knew…

by LostSoldier 12/27/2012

written by LostSoldier

I get so fucking tired of the “it will get better” and the “Don’t give up! That’s just when things are going to change!” or my favorite “There is a light at the end of the tunnel!” Fuck you. That light? It’s a god damn oncoming train.

Oh and those fuckin pro life bullshit assholes.. why Yes! YES!! YES I DO wish that my mother had aborted me asswipe. I dont know why she didn’t.

When I was 3 months old I had spinal menigitis. 3 weeks in the hospital. I stopped breathing. My heart stopped. No one held me. No one wanted to. […]

12/27/2012 4 comments

hope you like it!!

by sinful desires 12/26/2012

written by sinful desires

screaming around
saying your name,my fallen angel
hoping you were here again
fragile i’am for not knowing how to forget
i can’t let go of the past no matter how much i forgive
weak and broken my heart is
for not knowing,it will tear me to shreds
this sins,are just roaming in my head
screaming aloud that i’m dead
screaming around again
hoping you were here to save me from this living hell
oh!fallen angel, come to take my soul
and send it please to your underworld
surrounded by monsters and devils
now i feel like i’am at home
far from everbody,far from the human […]

12/26/2012 0 comment

A Dark Land

by jaikty 12/24/2012

written by jaikty

Every where i go,
death follows me,
his accomplice on his shoulder,
waiting for a feed.

The blood raven calls,
“your soul is mine to keep.”
my heart grows cold,
and myÂ eyes begins to weep.

Infected with a darkness that none can understand,
death offers me asylum in a dark and foreign land,
a land full of souls, just as lost as mine
stuck in the dark for an endless lenghth of time

The raven calls again.
“Please accept our offer, friend,
you’ll be with your own till the passage of time ends.”
And with that final word, they return to their land.

The offer on the table and […]

12/24/2012 1 comment

first time for everything

by closetcloset 12/22/2012

written by closetcloset

I’ve put off writing this, because I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what I need to say.. I know that I have many thoughts that aren’t coming out right in my head and I can’t share them outloud because they only nod their heads in response. I knew a guy who committed suicide. I think about him everyday. Wonder if he knew me too. I cry when I think about people growing old. About my family members growing old while I’m away and then when I snap back to reality in 10years… they’ll be dead or no longer who I grew up […]

12/22/2012 1 comment

Another day. Another thought, another cut.

by loveisdifficult 12/22/2012

written by loveisdifficult

I’m lost in a dark room in my own head.
I’m in pain and agony from all the thoughts that circulate.
The frightening answer of suicide and leaving.
I feel weak because I can’t accomplish it. I don’t slice deep enough.
I don’t take enough pills and I don’t use a thick enough rope.
I consider myself a coward. Because I cannot finish what I started in the middle of the year.
I’m alone, I’m scared I’m afraid. I’m worried and I’m in pain.
Each breath I take is another mistake. I shouldn’t be breathing this air.
Am I selfish for wanting it all to […]

12/22/2012 0 comment

suicide guitar

by jaikty 12/21/2012

written by jaikty

Guitar on my lap,
sorrow in my rhymes,
try to write it out,
the sadness on my mind,

The ink won’t leave my pen,
it’s bottled up inside,
like the sadness in my heart
and the death that’s on my mind

Everyone thinks i’m fine
but really, deep down inside
contemplating suicide
to put an end to these sad times,

with a slash to my wrist,
my blood would soon run dry,
just a stain on the sheets,
and a tear in my eye.

12/21/2012 1 comment

The Key To My Suffering

by jaikty 12/20/2012

written by jaikty

Shattered dreams,
broken heart,
dark thoughts,
razor sharp,
flash of light,
streak of red,
bullet passing through my head.

Suicide,
no more lies,
it’s on my mind,
i want to die,
please don’t ask why,
i won’t tell,
i know i’m going straight to hell.

Look at me,
what do you see?
iron cage,
set me free,
release my thoughts,
release my mind,
i’ll only tell you one more time.

To make it stop,
to let it end,
a bullet is my only friend,
the one that helps
the one that sees
yes, the bullet,
it’s the key.

12/20/2012 2 comments

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