I have been so pissed off all day and i’m not over exaggerating. Im getting sick and tired of people using me, abusing me, and making me feel like nothing and im sorry.. yea.. im sorry. im just gonna like.. emotionally detatch myself from everything. you know, my depression is getting bad again. I am regressing into a deeper depression than i was before. and i can feel it not only in my mind but in my heart.. and its killing me. my meds are making me crzy… and .. i just dont know anymore.I wanted to try and be happy but everything just keeps […]
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
It has come to my attention that my disease is never going away. It is incurable. I’ve recently talked to a woman that is now 83, who has been on pills for this since she was 18. I’m 16. Never again can i spend the night, spur of the moment. If i miss too many pills they tell me my body will go into shock. That’s nice. I’m worried about my future, can i even have a child? I’ve researched that it may be complicated, depending. I have a higher chance for getting cancer. I have a chance of going blind. All these nice little […]
Every day, I see beautiful people around me. People with straight, pearly white teeth. People with skin as soft as satin and blemish free. They have everything in their hands, and they know it. Even I have to admit that beautiful people have the upper hand in life, because, hell, who doesn’t like looking at a pretty face?
My skin is disgusting compared to theirs. It’s spotted with scars. Trust me, scabies and a skin picking problem do not go well together. Now the scabies are gone, but the scars and scabs have been there for two years.
It’s almost as if God has decided that I […]
Life is just a war… Why should we have to go threw the pain of living… I want to know when I’m gone ill be happy… Scars run down my legs, will they disappear when I leave? Ill never be able to see my future but that’s okay I never had one anyway. I’m just another soul but what’s the point in living if no one wants me around? My scars make me feel like someone but sometime ill go just a bit deeper and that will be it.. Im in a different world.. I’m just another heart beat slowing down.. I won’t be missed ill never make […]
Just waiting the sweet moment when a finaly get out of this place i just can remember or imagine i asked to be at.
Hoping that´s dont take to long.
Hoping that´s dont be with to much suffering, no because i´m afraid to suffer, in a fact is there something more painfull than be alive? This hope come from certainty all this is just a waist of time anyway.
When this feeling started? I just can´t remember and i dont even care about it.
Maybe in small things, small people, small everything…
Dead sweet dead, make no alarm, no sound, no signal… just come here and do your f…… ¨ […]
I am a slave to my feelings of you
Trapped inside myself
I’m drowning and lost, feel horribly used
I just can’t break free.
I am a slave to the thoughts that you bring
Are we even real?
Confusing the truth with traitorous things
Why can’t I break free?
I am a slave to the sound of your voice
Shivers down my spine
My head tells me no, my heart gives no choice
I can not be freed.
I am a slave to the beast in my head.
Evil filthy girl.
Cannot be stopped until all my blood’s shed.
She is my Master.
don’t read this
just wanted to say thattttt, well, not even feeling suicidal now, because I’m drunk, buttttt I understand how about 90% of you feel (after reading the posts as a non-member for a while) annnd i think this site is amazing. because when i was feeling these thoughts i was a lot younger (not that I don’t feel them now) but let’s face it when you’re younger you almost have to depend on your parents and it only worsens that feeling of helplessness when you can’t drive/escape because you rely on your parents’ money/support, etc. and when I was younger I didn’t have a […]
Im 34 and have always been single. My heart aches all the time, I feel so lonely and sick. Often fantasise about dying. A girl I was nuts about referred to me as creepy and weird… we were dating for a while and thought we were close, that ripped my heart in two. Life is shit, bring on the end.
I don’t want to die cause a guy broke my heart. I want to die cause Love is always to hard on me. I fall too hard and too easily. I get harrassed and no one will help me. I have loved but it was fake. Love isn’t real. Even if it was it would be fake. I don’t want to die cause I’m single i want to die cause I’m unwanted.
she is perfect, she will take the compliment and thank you, yet she never really agrees, she is beautiful no matter how ‘shit’ she may think she looks.
That’s what i could have written about her when i loved her, she broke my heart, i felt like breaking her bones, the hatred within me is growing with every word she says to me but it’s not just hatred for her, it’s hatred for all, they’re putting me on meds for my homicidal and suicidal thoughts, i don’t need them meds i am perfectly fine being this way without them. fuck you all, good day.
She is alone, nothing but alone in the dark folds of her mind. They consume her soul and dance in the wreckage of her heart, talking to her at night, convincing her to cut again until the blade slowly edges to her wrist, nick it a little, only a little don’t want to start a riot in your family and get slapped by the ones you thought loved you.
Disappear into your dreams my sweet little girl, watch the dream like a movie as you slit your wrists and watch the blood flow and plunge to the floor, smile and wave in the mirror as though […]
You
know when u really trusted someone and then they say they trust you and all of
a sudden they stop talking to you because of someone else. Honestly I don’t
know what to do anymore. Im getting attacked left, right and center, by this
girl. I trusted him with things that I would never trust anyone with. He played
with my heart and said he was only talking to her because he was trying to be
the good mate. Now I feel like I was used just for his pleasure.but now I feel
down because I really found out who it was attacking me. […]
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
It took all i had to make this. I couldn’t be any more proud. Days are still hard but I’m happy I reached this point.