Tag:

horrible

think I might have taken a turn

by souptool 2/22/2016

written by souptool

Well I’m going to go a different road today and say that I have a pretty positive outlook on life at the moment.

Today was a actually a pretty good day and I’m thankful for it cause they’re rare anymore.

Had a good aa meeting, had a meeting downtown for community service hours and I didn’t buy any drugs even tho I kinda had a plan to mabey look for something to take the edge off. Even took the money out, just didn’t ask anyone so that felt pretty good too.

Getting out of the house too was actually good I didn’t want to leave my room today […]

2/22/2016 3 comments

Every now and again i have a decent day or Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/22/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

So I have severe social anxiety and have only had one ltr which was an ldr. Im trying to lose weight and do more stuff in order to possibly meet someone special. So at work in order to destigmatize talking to women i decided to say hi how are you or some variation to every girl i could at work. I work at a huge warehouse and we all have to move really fast. So i couldn’t keep any long convos going.(good im terrible at small talk) I didn’t have a panic attack the whole time and im proud of myself. Im going to continue […]

2/22/2016 3 comments

Had enough

by Drowning 2/20/2016

written by Drowning

Iv really had enough now I hate waking up everyday I’m not living life im just surviving each day and that’s a battle life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people life will carry on if im here or not so what’s the point the world is a horrible place let alone feeling lonely depressed anxious need to build up the courage to try again

2/20/2016 4 comments

Protected: Everyday

by Dungeon 2/19/2016

written by Dungeon

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/19/2016 4 comments

Protected: This feeling has followed me around my entire life:

by whiskered-fish 2/18/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/18/2016 18 comments

Im falling apart

by 2717_ 2/18/2016

written by 2717_

lately ive been crying and i hate myself so much, ive done horrible things to myself im seriously thinking about suicide with some pils. im fat af and ugly and all the bad things that someone could ever imagine. IM starting to vomit after every meal, im losing my mind lately, and no one notice.

2/18/2016 4 comments

F@c&

by Lost1111 2/16/2016

written by Lost1111

At this point I feel like I’m just seeing how many days I can survive until I finally decide to kill myself.

I’ve tried so many things over the years..meds, in-patient, therapy, groups, coping skills. I’m not better and now I’m still in horrible withdrawal from medications, too. I’m still in post-acute withdrawal after 9 months off all meds and I’m still a shitty person. I’m trying so hard to change, but you cannot take back the past. I hate myself and I hate life.

Why does somebody else (your parents) get to decide that you exist, but then it’s your responsibility to function and do well […]

2/16/2016 8 comments

I hate my life

by gaza 2/10/2016

written by gaza

I hate my life and wish i was dead , My wife is a piece of shit and i hate her and am only sticking witth her because we have a baby together. Im soooooooooo sorry i had a baby witth her . If i could go back in time and change things i would. I find myself sacrificeing my happiness for the baby because i want him to have a better life than mine . I feel like crying everytime i look at my son , i feel horrible bringing him in this world with the person i did. Everytime i look at my […]

2/10/2016 6 comments

I do

by reba2013 2/9/2016

written by reba2013

Do you ever wonder what it feels like to have the cold end of a pistol pushed against the side of your head? Do you ever wonder what it feels like to suffocate inside of a car? Do you ever wonder about the endless feeling one feels while falling toward the end? Do you ever wonder how bright headlights are as they come barreling toward you in the dark? Do you wonder how a rope feels squeezing your neck? Do you ever wonder how horrible it feels to be poisoned beyond intoxication?

Do you ever wonder how that last breath feels? Do you wonder how stiff […]

2/9/2016 7 comments

Having multiple issues

by blank-clutter 2/3/2016

written by blank-clutter

What makes me really suicidal and want to give up is that fact that I have sooo many issues. If I just had one or two then they would be manageable but there is so many battles that must be won, only to have another one appear and I have to try again.

I dont think Im that strong, if I could win them I gladly would, I dont have the capacity and looking at life realistically tells me that I never will.

How can I overcome my social phobia, my addictive behavior, my fear of success and performance issues, my inferiority complex, my bad memory, my […]

2/3/2016 4 comments

Protected: Today’s one of those days where I feel like everybody’s laughing behind my back.

by whiskered-fish 1/31/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/31/2016 9 comments

Im done, im not taking this pain anymore!!!

by 2717_ 1/25/2016

written by 2717_

Im done with this. i cant take it, this is more than what i can take, ive been depressed too long, ive been pretending that im happy too long, ive been hating myself too long, im horrible in every way, in every way, im fat af, im ugly af, im useless af, worthless af, i have no hope on me, i lost my mind already, and no one notice, to be honest, no one cares, and honesly i dont care either… Im just waiting for death.

1/25/2016 1 comment

Protected: Dread

by whiskered-fish 1/23/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/23/2016 3 comments

Erasing An 18 year old Mistake: I Just Wanna Die

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone 1/19/2016

written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

I am no longer myself. I remember how I used to be before seven years of depression. I used to be the most optimistic individual, but life has a way of fucking you over.

For starters, after years of hearing people say negative things about you, you start to believe. I am an eighteen year old mistake. My life was a replacement. My father was abusive and caused my mother to have a miscarriage. Their intention was to replace that baby boy, so I was born.

Throughout my years, I have heard this story so much. Eventually as my father extruded himself from our family domicile, I […]

1/19/2016 7 comments

Prevent You’re Own Happiness

by GTSuicide_6 1/17/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

About 50 minutes ago, I posted a question asking whether any of you intentionally cut off your friends, just to make yourself feel horrible, or to spare them.

(Its called, “Anyone Else: Loneliness.” in case any of you wanna give it a look at.)

I’ve been sitting here dreading every second, thinking about it.

And I remembered what I used to say to myself about it,

I used to think it was to prevent myself from happiness.

I don’t deserve a happy; This is all my fault.

Everyone’s problems? My fault. I can’t be happy because its not fair.

You know what I hate the most? Hearing people deny it, try to […]

1/17/2016 5 comments

Anyone Else; Loneliness

by GTSuicide_6 1/17/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

So maybe I’m all screw-y or something,

I’m assuming the majority of you may not be able to relate,

But sitting here alone and dreading the day, I decided why not write this post. I don’t know why I do this, nor do I think I’ll ever know why,

But I always seem to…Cut people out of my life.

I had this best friend, he was so good to me last year, when I was at the lowest point. He made sure I was happy and all, and he calmed me down every night when I felt my anxiety begin to swallow me. But ever since, I’ve always tried […]

1/17/2016 14 comments

Early morning rant.

by Still wandering 1/13/2016

written by Still wandering

It’s 4.15 am. Had horrible nightmares and awake since then. It’s been hours and it’s been years. I can’t sleep properly.

I won’t say all 365 days are like this. I guess, I have okayiesh days also, I won’t say good or wonderful because 2015 was the wrost year of my life.

I was a failure in 2015 at many tasks, two of them were, giving lot of happiness to my soul mate and ending this miseryful life. But I guess these two tasks can’t be completed at once. I failed lots of times at killing myself. In 2015 I was too close to finish the task […]

1/13/2016 7 comments

I am a screw up and trying makes it worse

by Lost1111 1/13/2016

written by Lost1111

This is my first post and I am in a horrible place. I tapered off all of my psych medications in 2014-2015 and am still in Post Acute Withdrawal. On top of that, I’m just a messed up person and I have been all of my life. I just need to vent, if that’s okay.

I am clueless at how to function in any aspect of life. My taxes are messed up, which is a huge trigger for me right now. I inadvertently have messed up my taxes in different ways for years now. One year I forgot income because my financial advisor switched companies and […]

1/13/2016 9 comments

How Ironically Hopeful and beautiful It Is ?

by Still wandering 1/13/2016

written by Still wandering

For me : My love cares for me alot, alot.

But before she came, I also used to think that no one cares which lot of you guys think and feel.

And I know this for certain that we(SP) care. We(SP) care when any member of our family feel low or go thru any horrible situation. So don’t ever think that no one cares.

How ironically hopeful and beautiful, it is ? 🙂

1/13/2016 7 comments

What’s going through my head

by Lawli 1/13/2016

written by Lawli

Im so stupid.
Im so dumb.
Im such a bad person.
I could just leave.
I don’t understand.
Everybody hates me.
I don’t deserve anything.
Life is a trap.
Im so confused.
I could just die.
Torture.
Violence.
Kill myself.
Im mean.
Everyone is so nice, and I’m so horrible.
Im alone.

I don’t know why, I just wanted to make a list to see if I could right out everything from my head, I couldn’t, I’m not good at writing.

1/13/2016 3 comments

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