damnit. IDK where to start. so much is racing through my head right now. im completely fucked. It’s unreal how horrible things can become. So, I have this stupid belief that, yeah, i want to die, but it could be the last thing I ever do (assuming in death there is no afterlife…just in case) and it will only happen for real once… I want to FEEL it. None of the gun to the head crap (besides, you could always end up brain dead which is worse than life itself…[although, someone i once knew shot himself in the heart… i think that takes guts]) but anyways this […]
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ok, i have something on my mind. And I know that other people have it much worse, but I’m just gonna say my story.
My life is not bad. I don’t know where my depression started. But it did. And it won’t go away. I just feel like the biggest misfit. I cut and starve myself. I have to admit, its mainly for attention. It’s not working though. I don’t know whats wrong with me. I can barely think anymore, my thoughts are so mixed up. Everything hurts. I hurt everyone I care about. People think I’m a freak. They have a right to, because I […]
its the most.beautiful release of human emotion. the feeling of getting choked up . a lump in the throat that can only be release through the exits of a tear shed. crying is not weakness its all the strength built up so much that it turns to.liquid solution also.know.as a tear. crying feels amazing its almost like an orgasm the way it makes u feel. but in a different way ofcourse. i love crying. just not in front of others.
besides crying idk y but i love.gettig angry i feel.so.powerful and.less.fearfull. ii love.to say what i am feeling to get it all out.
Aite Ive had this random sex encounter with 3 guys by the end of december , but got hsv 2..im gay and that pretty much ruins my sex life.. and they were all healthy, it was me i was shedding and didnt even know i had hsv on my lips! on the last guy.. i really liked.. & started texting him mid january. from that day we kinda started texting everyday. now its like less cause he’s on a trip and is coming back in like 2 weeks. since i thought he would be in town by mid jan i kinda started talking to him […]
I love this boy!!! so so so much!!! hes the most amazing person ive ever known. I love everything about him I love how dominant he is lol. im his new plaything (his words not mine) I love how hes my prince and I know he can and will protect me. we are just alike in a lot of ways but hes way more bold than I am lol and I have better reasoning then him we fit perfect and I know it I just wish he didn’t move and we’ve ben fighting a lot lately… :'( im so afraid to lose my best friend […]
first i want born. Then i started to grow. My parents spilt up before i was born. But my mother got remarried so i had always thought this man was my father until i was about 8 yrs old. Then i finally got to meet my real father. Little did i know my mother had gotten into some pretty hardcore drugs with the man i used to call my father. Finally they got dovorced that’s her 2nd divorce btw and she went completely crazy and shaved her head. me and my 2 sisters stayed with my grandmother while my mother went crazy i can still […]
Let me start by saying I’ve always had strong thoughts about ending my life I never thought i was good at anything especially life. Around middle school I started to realize how much I liked girls(I’m a female). I live in a everybody knows everybody town and for obvious reason kept it to myself. 7th grade was my first attempt but a sibling walked in and I was rushed to the hospital. Okay fast foward about high school I still had that idk why I’m here feeling but then I met sky she was stayed in California and me Texas we talked for hours […]
Hello, I’m 17 and engaged to a guy who beats me and his whole family i luv him but idk </3 also he lets everyone talk trash bout me he says im ugly and im a nobody ): i just wanna dye already so when can i plz help me tell me what is the fastest plz <3
So, you know the constant failings of out favorite superheros in their private life, like peter parker? I’m finding that the more time progresses, the more my life turns into a generic superhero movie without the superhero part. Maybe I need to get bitten by a mutated spider. Maybe I should introduce my brains to the wall. Idk. Tonight will tell.
i dont fucking know anymore. and idont know why. idk why i get up in the morning. idk how i continue with this charade. i dont know how to continue pretending this life is worth living. idk if i will go throu with it but i shure as hell cannot continue. And i dont know if there is reason good for my suffering. Idk if there even needs to be. Idk if that even matters. Idk if any of it even matters. But if theres one thing i do know its that no one else knows either
So catch me if you can motherfuckers, […]
my name is is melody. i am 19 years old. ever since i was a small girl, everyone talked about how cute i was and how far i was honna go. about how extremely intelligent and talented i was. and i really was. i was an amazing writer, i won so many awards, i was a great cheerleader, amazing artist and track runner. i was a class clown. everyone really did love me. but what people didn’t know is that after school, i came home to a horrible household and was bullied every second that i was there. how much of a piece of shit […]
someone once told me
“youe need to be selfless and put on a smile and pretend your ok because everything you do efects the people you love and the people around you”
so thats what ive been doing my entire life hiding my pain my regret my longing everything i dnt smile anymore at least not a real smile or a real laugh
i thought he was the only one who cared because he understood but i guess i was wrong
my parents both told me they didnt want me living with eather of them
yes im lost and i dnt think ill ever be found
im surounded by darkness but i […]
Hey, I’m 21 I have no friends, no girlfriend and I have been alone my entire life idk why. Everyone who meets me says I’m the Nicest guy but no one wants to hang out with me. I’ve been depressed almost my entire life I’ve never really had any friends I’ve only had one girlfriend and she ended up cheating on me. I really have nothing to really live for the only thing I’m good at his school and I have to work really really hard to do good in it. I need help. I’m just withering away
So I’ve been suffering from depression for a little over 3 years now. My Girlfriend of two years broke up with me well over a year ago. Sob story blah blah. When that happened I threatened suicide, cops, recovery ward for a week. A couple months later, police again, suicide ward. That was over a year ago. Today, and I am not shitting you I decided my life was finally just about turned around. This of course was a slow moving process. Very… Slow. Guess what happens a few hours ago? She texts me! I’m finally about over this and she texts me! After a […]
So theres this guy I’m really starting to like but idk if he likes me too.. I’ll be at my locker sometimes and he’ll come up to and start making conversation but idk if it’s cuz his friends locker is right next to mine… And my other friend we will call her “Brit” introduced me into and she knows I like him but every time me and him end up walking together and Brit comes he starts talking to her and she’s really pretty so idk if he likes her.. His a whole grader older then me to… I know I really like him to. […]
I want to fade away. There is very little of me already I’m an empty shell in fact if I wato full it would be of pain but sadly (no pun intended ) that shit won’t do you any good. Idk how I’m going to do it but it will be soon.
wells, idk what to call today, good or bad? its a cross. yeah but more lows then highs unfortunately. i have a weird feeling to cut, i cant, gotta be strong. its been 3 weeks why break? idk i thought i was doing so well. i was wrong. i fake it too well. now here i am falling apart. im becoming me. and its showing. my wall is tearing down. im becoming uncovered. idk what i want, god im crazy. im so messed up. im losin it. ugh why? me? ugh. sad? lonely? happy? together? mad? slow? fast? nice? a *****? idk what i am. […]
so a few days ago. i here from my ex who ignored me for over a month. this is kinda secret since were a long distance thing, my parents say its not healthy to talk to him, well fuck u. so they took my itouch and cell away for either a looooong while or forever. so there goes private contact, so then we start e-mailing and after a week he ignores me for over a month, then wednesday im sure it was he e-mailed me. i was soo happy. then it wet to silence again. well earlier i was home for 7 hrs watching […]
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
Lately i’ve been having this urge to self-harm again and i honestly don’t know why, i mean it’s not like im depressed or anything i actually believe im quite happy with myself right now. The thing is, everytime i look at my wrists they just look so…empty and alone an idk it’s like i miss the pain,i miss feeling like i was alive again.. I don’t know what im supposed to do, ive gone months without self-harm and i dont know if i would enjoy the fact of relapsing for the fourth time thi year. Idk and its just not cutting anymore now i just […]