Second day of work experience, and slightly better than yesterday. Maybe? Though it could just be because I finished two hours early. Also, I made my list again of what I’ve done to humiliate myself.
9:10am: I felt myself beginning to have a panic attack because I’d only just arrived, so I was ten minutes late.
9:17am: I’d calmed down a little.
9:34am: The worry over hidden cameras was back again, though I didn’t start looking for them yet.
10:12am: I was in a hyper mood and couldn’t stay still, so was messing around with the trolley and smashed into a pile of […]
Look at the tree and choose the one that is immediately most appealing to you.
Pick your tree before you look at the results!
Don’t think about it too long, just choose, and find out what your choice says about your personality, please have FUN and share your choice in the comments below…
The results!
You are a generous and moral (not to confuse with moralizing) person. You always work on self-improvement. You are very ambitious and have very high standards. People might think that communicating with you […]
For the last few years I didn’t see the point in filing taxes  if I was just going to kill myself. I doubt the IRS sends agents into the afterlife to collect on delinquent accounts.
Since I never did get around to killing myself, I went ahead and dropped off three years worth of income tax info with a local CPA today. Â I’ll get caught up with the govt. Â and hopefully get a large enough refund to take an Ayuhuasca adventure I’ve been planning for awhile now. Ayahuasca is a powerful hallucinogenic compound which originated in the Amazon rainforest. I can’t think of any better way to […]
I’m supposed to be in the work where I am at practical training right now but I just couldn’t go there, I’m sitting here, crying and sobbing and I feel like I can’t breath. I think I can’t go there today but I don’t know what to say to my teacher and those people in the work, I feel ashemed of myself and I feel like Im good for nothing and I’m just i everyone’s way and causing troubles to them.
I don’t know I’m feeling that everyone thinks I’m just lazy but I really just can’t do those things that normal people can, and it […]
I want to die. I really want to die, because I can’t take anymore of this hell. I’m a sophomore in high school, and barely hanging on. Parents hate me, telling me that theyve been trying to tell me they’re doing things for me. How can I believe that when they get pissed off at everything I do that they hate, whether it be major or trivial, and tell me to lie for their benefit? And I get beaten for it, no matter what I do. All I ask is for peace, yet no matter how much I try to get good grades, I can’t. […]
bullies in the army. Some shitbags making fun of Abagis for being gay, he was accepted by us back at basic training. For him to slit his wrists and be chaptered out for his suicide attempts. I want to hurt those bastards for that yet i take no action against my bullies on the homefront in the army. I should just fight back full fledged (starts out with shit talking then gets physical and i punch back and they kick harder and suddenly theyre beating on me in formations. I guess i should be the one beating on them. The. It’ll be fights behind closed […]
My name is Tara Paige, and I live in Whitestown, Indiana. I attend Lebanon Senior High School; newly remodeled, multi-million dollar school.
My first year at this school was last year, my junior year. I LOVED it there! So many opportunities, so many nice people, teachers always wanting to help you with anything and everything! But, it didn’t last long. Everything I thought, was proven wrong to me second semester.
First semester was amazing! I made so many new friends, started crushing on a cute boy, had great grades, staying busy and just enjoying time with my new amazing friends.
Second semester came around and my life changed […]
because they all here on sp
being in the phase of ex-stream suicidal or depressed is worthful experience of a human life, very few get chance to experience it.
All sp visitors are fortunate to experience all the pain in the world.
If there are so many people in the world that feel like me, like us, why do I feel so alone? Like nobody can understand my thoughts? Like I can’t ever be 100% sincere sharing them? If there are so many people on here that feel the same way, why aren’t you the girl sitting next to me in class? Why aren’t you one of the people I have to see every day? Are we meant to die little by little of loneliness in the end? Is that what we deserve?
Feeling nothing,
PURPLEPAIN
The one thing that most people associate with Bipolar is bad husbands with anger issues. It might sound stereo-typical but for the majority that is true. You have to be extremely carefull not to share your anger/disappointment as it can erupt in the drop of a hat and you wig out. I am a much more “peacefull” bipolar case than the usual but only due to the fact that I had grown up with the rage and it keeps me in check…most of the time…but I can rage with the best of them.
They say that Bipolar is inherited and it shows. My dad has serious […]
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
Even if I got all the powers in the world
I still feel depressed and addicted to suicide with no reason
Kawaii: “Every species pollutes, but only one species tries to stop it. Every species gets sick, but only one can figure out why and stop it. We can’t run very fast, yet we are the fastest living things on the planet. We’re not very strong, yet we can move mountains. We have no wings, yet we’ve flown higher than any animal can imagine. Our voices aren’t very loud, yet we can talk to our brothers on the other side of the planet, even further than that. I have seen more than the keenest of hawks, gone faster than the quickest of all cheetahs, moved more […]
As I vowed in the other post… I will die. Without Stefie I cannot live on… goodbye my friends, goodbye my family, goodbye everyone… You’re better off without me anyway.
Throughout my entire life, I have searched for the answer, the truth to what the purpose of humanity’s existence could be. Being a former Catholic, I believed “god” to be the answer, but the ugly and unpleasant truth is that there WAS no answer from the very beginning. Life never did have a purpose. People tell themselves that there is some cosmic and divine reason for our existence, but that is a false illusion created to hide our fears, and to ease our consciousness, just like how people delude themselves into thinking that they will be reunited with their loved ones in heaven, or […]
I’ve never felt less loved. I’ve entered another phase of wanting a violent suicide to spite all the people that didn’t care enough. I can’t decide whether I hate me or everyone else more. 1 year no girlfriend,no sex, nothing. 3 strikes in the dating game. Since the last ex cheated on me. Why bother anymore. I’m a biting dog now. Nobody wants to pet a biting dog. It’s not my fault I got here. No dog just turns into a biting dog. You have to beat it again and again before that happens. I have never seen a dog that didn’t just […]
I’m not even sure why I’m on here again… my life is in no immediate danger, but who know how long that will last. Some good things have happened to me an honestly I can say I enjoyed it. I graduated from college and got my diploma. I took my boards and passed them. Overall, I was ok, or well as ok as someone like myself could be. At the same time I’ve been clean for almost 5 months now. I haven’t cut or burned myself no matter how badly I wanted to. With all good things come the bad. I had to move back […]
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
They are disgusting. They have a need to feel superior to one another, in looks or friends or personality. They stole all my hard work away. I will lose everything because of them.
I live with three other girls. I’m okay with one of them, it does annoy me when she is slow or in my way. But other wise she’s fine. My issue is with the other two.
I’ve known one of them since, 2nd grade or something. We’ve been best friends for a super long time. But i have never shown her my weakness. I have never shown her my true side. I just show […]
December was when I had my last appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist, and that is when they said they’d send out new ones in the new year. A month later and I’m still waiting for the letter. So I decided to call up their offices, to find out whether they’d made one and I just hadn’t got the letter. Turns out they haven’t even fucking made one with me. What a nice way to find out even my psychiatrist and therapist have given up with me, a fucking phone call with their receptionist. I don’t even know if this means they’ve discharged me or […]