I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]
in the
I hate living alone. I hate knowing no one is ever going to walk through the door besides me. I hate never feeling anyone else’s energy in the house. I’m going crazy.
Humans are very bad at making decisions. And I’m no exception. Even though I haven’t decided weather or not I will go for the big and final exit or not, I’m already on my way. Unconsciously, I’ve already started to wither. Smoking is obviously bad and sometimes I wonder if I’m going to get lung-cancer one day. The lung-cancer part doesn’t scare me – but the fact that I couldn’t care less, really freaks me out.
That’s one of me biggest problems now days; I simply don’t care. I don’t care if won’t graduate, I don’t care if my pets gonna die and I don’t care if […]
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
The big question whist happens after we die, where do we go. Do we go into a spiritual realm for tortured souls, do we go into nothing, do we go into a dream world for good, do we see others that are past,do we go to heaven, do we go to hell? These are the questions that every one wonders, even the most religious person must think in the back of their minds I hope there is a heaven. So to kill yourself is a sin and then we end up in hell. Whet if you think life is hell, why is there such a […]
I had my daughter when I was 21, and her dad left when she was three. From then on, it was just her and me. Over the years, as she got older, she and I became best friends, and I sort of just let my other relationships die. It was easier. I’m awkward, and relationships aren’t easy for me. With her, it was. I feel like I kind of grew up with her…well, as much as I’ve grown up. We had a lot of fun. She was this bright light in my otherwise very dark life.
Last summer, I met this guy. He was younger than […]
I’m 23 years old, and I’m the General Manager of a brand new business my father has opened. This is his first and only business he has ever opened and he has been dreaming about it for a very long time. I am the only one in this family with experience in this industry of business that my father has just opened. So obviously, everything falls to me when it comes to this business. I work 15 hours a day, if I’m lucky and it’s slow I’ll work 12-14 hours. I get 1 day off a week to see my boyfriend. Without going into too […]
never in my life did I think there were as many people who feel the same way as me. I am 45, been battling since I was 10 or so. I have won and lost, two prior attempts that but by the grace of God i survived. However even though I firmly believe I am a walking miracle I still know that one day I will end it.
I don’t know exactly when, but I do know what will be my last straw, and that will be when I lose my best and only true friend Chip. my chocolate lab. he is 6 now, so […]
Yesterday I made a post saying I had three weeks. Also met some good people here.
I’ve made a few friends here on this site in the last 24 hours I would say. I made a post yesterday basically saying I was abandoning ship in three weeks. I have decided to revise that time frame to three days. I plan on writing my note a day or so beforehand, the necessary materials are in my possession and the stage is set.
However, today I am going to take the day to play some music. I’ve played in bands since high school (I’m 27 now) and always had music has a hobby or passionate activity I guess you could say. Going to be […]
Why movie , game , novel , comics , book , anime/manga , human’s IMAGINATION is FAR much better than this boring Reality / real world / real life ??
Why movies is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why video games is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why novels is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why comics is much better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why anime/manga is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
in conclusion :
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better & more interesting than this boring […]
We’re just one of millions of various organisms, albeit at the more intelligent end of the scale. We’re here for the briefest time in the overall scheme of things. Are we just here to reproduce and leave more humans behind, so they can then go on and reproduce, and so it repeats itself for eternity? For what purpose? We live with violence, wars, murders, and natural disasters, floods, earthquakes, etc that wipe of thousands of our species and other species. I’ve analysed and wondered about these things all my life. I don’t remember anything before I was born – just a total void – and […]
Sit on the sand,
No other hand.
Sit there alone,
Heart cold as stone.
Sit there at night,
Have no more fight.
Sit there and think,
Sit on the brink.
Sit there and hear,
The ocean real clear.
Sit there under the moon,
Time to go soon.
Ocean is rough,
Life is too tough.
Sit there, ready to jump in.
Sit there now,
Death it will win.
Stars in the sky,
Don’t want to cry.
Just make it real fast,
So the suffering won’t last.
I realise things will never get better for me. I’m a an ugly retard with no personality or talent and I have chronic mental health problems (borderline personality disorder, social anxiety). This life is futile, I’m a moron and there is no point to my existence. But how can I end it when there are people who love me and vice-versa? My aunt adopted me after my mum died and she spent years, $1000s, and energy treating me as her own despite my differences and what I put her through. I think it would tear her apart. But what’s the alternative? If I stay here […]
I looked through maybe a half dozen books to try to get an idea of what the after-life has in store for those who commit suicide using the documented stories of near-death experiences.
There are really not a whole lot of reasonably impartial documented cases of near death experiences as a whole (as I have been able to determine anyway), maybe only numbering in the hundreds, if that. And of those stories only a handful from people who had attempted suicide…
… at least stories that get to the heart of what everybody really wants to know: Do we go to hell? Or what other negative outcomes can we reasonably infer […]
Hello everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster here. Just recently I finally came to terms with making that final decision. The blue prints and ground work has been laid out and completed, and it’s just a waiting game now. In the next couple weeks however I would love to hear from some of you here. It can be about yourself, me, anything. What was going through your mind when you finally came to terms with that decision?
My foster mom is so fucking hateful. I begin to take charge of my life, and she flips shit. I’m seventeen. I applied to take a nursing class at tcc so I can have a decent job in college and she freaked out and reminded me about how none of my family cares about me. About how i’m so alone in the world. I cried and cried….One more year.She got mad because “ever since I got back from my grandparents, I’ve acted like an adult”, which is her excuse to tear me down and rip me apart. I’m not gonna let her get to me. […]
I always considered Robin Williams an “original” comedian. Simply meaning he was one of the comedians I saw mostly in the movies I watched growing up. (Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, etc.) I always admired these men and have actually hoped to meet them.
I remember being so depressed, and so lost in my life, mind, body, and soul. I had been thinking of death.. actually HOPING for death. I would imagine things and imagine the peace I would probably feel. Around this time I watched What Dreams May Come, and it gave me a better understanding of suicide (even if it is a fictional story) and surprisingly […]
i haven’t been posting much lately because it is always the same old shit. i take 6 medications to try to make me feel better. i was recently put in my place by my shrink who sees 24 nut jobs like me a day. 20 minute appts only. money wise it comes out to $800 an hour-nice scam . i finally got it through my thick skull that the less i say the easier the appts will be. just give me my scripts and send me on my way. i can write with impunity now knowing that no one has the time to read these […]
Feeling lost. Kinda undecided and unsure of what to feel or think. Lost in the depression. Lost in life.
I’m back, again. Most of you don’t remember me. It’s been 2 years since I last posted. Time has not been easy on me. I have a lot of changes, big changes coming up in my life in the next couple of weeks. Already, I have gone through several big ones, like losing many friends and my therapist, who were the only people I had to support me. Now I’m down to one friend that is constantly there for me, though he has major problems of his own. I feel like I’m losing every single thing that means something to me in my life.
My 18th […]