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Hmmmm

by Only-Here-For-My-Family
written by Only-Here-For-My-Family

I feel like shit, I don’t want to feel like this, I’ve been going so well now I feel like I’ve gone so backwards it’ll take forever to get back to where i was at emotionally, I’m a wreck, My family life is so fucked at the moment even my 12 year old sister is hurting herself and I don’t know how I can help her, I want to stop her getting like I did… I’m so lost and confused and I can’t stop crying whenever I’m alone, which is a lot recently…

I’m even grammar nazi’ing my writing so i can try not to think […]

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Game plan….a wish plan

by claira
written by claira

So I know these things to be true…
>I need a concrete game plan to work from…sort of like a “mind map” which tells me the possible outcomes of actions that I could choose from
>I feel as if I am not connected to the world without a purpose for my days
>i have lost my purpose in life since I am no longer someones wife, someones girlfriend, someones mother…. still searching for it though….
>Have come up with a plan for schooling, I wish I had lots of people to encourage me in this new plan for myself, I wish I had someone […]

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fucking done.

by I.cant.breathe!
written by I.cant.breathe!

i wish i could just run off the edge. just fly like a butterfly. I want to die. I want to die. but for real this time, i’m serious…so I have a knife, a rope, and a tall building…I’m not kidding. I’m dying, tired of living. the one person i care for is leaving, and they’re leaving me greiving. i’m done. so I’ll tie the noose, I’ll slip my head in, I’ll step up on the ledge, I’ll take the knife, I’ll stab my heart for the thousandth time, and I’ll fall, if the noose breaks i’ll fall…whatever happens…I’m sure i’ll die. I’m going to […]

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another “f’ing beautiful day”

by deceased
written by deceased

so i would have been dead today, but once again my fucking life just gets better by the second. was trying to drive until i found a nice drop off a cliff or something but, as my life goes, my god damn truck wouldnt even START for me to do that. Go figure….the one shitty thing i had left in this world that was always there for me, has now finally shit out. I feel the same as that “Friday” posting author, dont really want my family to find me. But i also cant keep fucking waking up to this shit world everyday thinking “YES..another […]

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5/5/2004 my world ended, my life nearly followed.

by Unique
written by Unique

Hello, this is my story.

Pre 5/5/2004 I was just a normal person, i had bipolar but i was diagnosed as a child and managed it with hardcore meditation my whole life. Other than that my life was normal. nothing traumatic ever happened to me. I never lost anyone. I was attending college. I had a beautiful girlfriend. I was smart, i had the whole world in front of me.

On the 5/5/2004 i woke up in my GF’s college house, it was cold and i was shivering. I rolled over and Jane was not there. I got up and saw here keys and phone on the […]

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to my best friend…

by justwannahelp112
written by justwannahelp112

to my best friend,
you don’t exist
i don’t have a best friend
they all disappeared when i needed them the most
what happened?
what did i do wrong,
other than f***ing myself up?
if i could change the problems i have
i would,
but i cant.

why did you leave me?
i wasn’t going to hurt you
i wasn’t going to hurt anyone,
except myself
i don’t want to be all alone
but because you left me i am
i know I’m a *****
but i didn’t mean to be that mean.

why wont you come back?
i didn’t mean to drive you away.
i have […]

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Oh God.

by lifeisbeingalone
written by lifeisbeingalone

I am loosing everyone. I lost my best friend since i can remember and now i lost my other best friend. She is pushing me away and i dont know why. i asked her but all she says that she doesnt mean to and that she is not mad and that nothing is wrong but i know something must be happening. Oh fu**ing god, and also my friend that is like my brother since i can remember says that i lied to him, spread rumors, hit him and insulted when i did none of that. sooo whatever i mean what can i do to change […]

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If I did then I couldn’t bring them back

by APathNoOneCanFollow
written by APathNoOneCanFollow

What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]

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My Thought For The Day…

by 13vida
written by 13vida

I always think back to when I tried to kill myself last year, OD-ing, and now I really wish I did it. Here’s some reasons why.

1. My family would finally wake up and face reality that everything is NOT “alright”

2. I would be in a better place than alive and my friends wouldn’t care

3. I wouldn’t always have my suicidal thoughts or this “illness”

4. People would actually think about me

5. At least one person would remember me

 

After thinking about that, I think of other reasons to why I’m alive.

1. My family sometimes cares enough about me to actually remember me from time to time.

2.  I […]

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I want to die but can’t not now

by ali137
written by ali137

My story starts about 5 months ago when I left a really good job that I done for over 5 years and the pay was great. My wife and dad said not to leave the job, i have two kids. 

I left this job because I had arranged to drive a taxi that my f@@@ing brother in law said that the pay was good and hours were reasonable because he was doing it (he lied so I can be like him), thinking more money and good hours might as well go for it. Resigned from my good job and my colleagues told me to take a […]

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Testing faith

by livetodie
written by livetodie

Let’s cut to the chase… no one really cares. Yesterday I asked my friend, the only one who knows how badly I want to die, how he’d feel if I told him that I was going away and never returning… never contacting him again. I’m not about to whine to you because my girlfriend stabbed me in the back or because I never got the pony my poor ass family could never buy me… actually, in most ways, I have it pretty ‘together’ and most people who “know” me wouldn’t get that I’ve wanted my life to end every day for the past 11+ years. […]

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Time to go

by jg1981
written by jg1981

Hi, anybody who reads this

It’s time to end this. I perhaps just want to share with someone out there something of the story of my life so that I know that I’ve perhaps got it out to someone.

Born in 1981 to a couple who perhaps should never have been – one good-looking, intelligent but obviously mentally unhealthy, the other with a physical (skin) ‘deformity’ rendering her unattractive to most – but together they came, and through whom three other lives came into this world (one, the last one – my younger sister – apparently ‘not planned for’ (seems absurd that _I_ was actually ‘planned […]

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I am small

by lixie
written by lixie

My mother left my father when I was 2 years old. He was an alcoholic and used to be a little violent against my mother.

I’m turning 24 this year.

My father has changed. He doesn’t have a problem with the alcohol now, he drinks, but not every day. He is well now.
He always send me gifts. Birthdays and christmas. This christmas he called me. He’s done it before. We talk, and I love it. Everytime he calls, after we hung up I cry for hours. I so badly want to have a relationship with him, but I’m a coward. I live in another town, so […]

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The funniest things can dissuade you

by notinteresting1
written by notinteresting1

This might be funny, I don’t know. I’ve been suicidal for weeks (months on and off) and been thinking about it this past days. A lot of reasons why; university, family problems, legal issues, self-hatred blah blah blah. Anyway, I decide to watch a couple of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle episodes out of boredom with my little brother and end up watching an episode called ‘Same As It Never Was’.

Now, I’ve got three brothers and I’d be lying if I said the turtle superhereos don’t remind me of us. So this episode has one of the turtle brothers transported to a nightmare future where their […]

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My Bro took his life…

by EVERYBODYHURTS
written by EVERYBODYHURTS

It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]

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life is crazy

by aspersion
written by aspersion

My post probably won’t mean a whole lot because I do not know how to put my experiences into words. It’s simply not worth trying to end your life. There is so much to look forward to, even if you’re pretty bad off. Life is too beautiful and it has many things to offer. Don’t do what everyone else wants you to. Especially don’t do what society wants you to. Live your life for YOU and nothing else. I’m happy now because I have figured that out. I have tried so many times to end my life from OD’ing to slitting my wrists. None of […]

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Why bother, it never gets better.

by DrDillo
written by DrDillo

Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in […]

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